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Too many great poems already posted with this format, but here's mine anyways. :)
.
Superimposed on this life's visions
lie the grey dreams of others past....
misty recollections of
unconquered enemies,
unfulfilled desires,
unfinished plans,
misplaced trust,
love's grace
lost.
.
The Sun
My opening eyes purpled the dawn.
It was I who azured the morn,
I who stroked the day golden,
I who yellowed the noon,
Till my sleepy eyes
Marooned the dusk,
And my sleep
Dimmed the
Night.
standing on the bank remebering
blissfull love shared so delictly
silently dreaming of love
moments spent together
dancing under the stars
haunting her dreams
replaying again
in loves
past
i hope this is right...im not sure thou
this is realy good, i realy like how you ended itQuote:
Originally Posted by Orionsbelt
steph
Vita
Birth pulled reluctantly from womb's warmth
Mother singing to soothe the cries.
First steps into childhood play.
First time lips meet warm lips.
Passion and then pangs.
First child in arms.
Passing fast.
Last gasp.
Birth.
Oops. Somehow posted twice. Mea culpa.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stephofthenight
Thank you very much. You are very gracious.:)
Water from the skies purifying soul
Show gratitude to the one who has FED
All mankind all races as a whole
To the straight path you will be led
fantasy and temptation ?don't be fool
The stars of Ahlo AL Bayet Abraham 's seed
Miracles you shall bear and reaching goal
Assalam is most merciful powerful indeed
Lacking trust and harmony are slaves of shame
Listening to wrong doers is the way to be lost
Those who fought for true equality not fame
Leaders on earth and in heaven host
Blessed are those who heard his name
And arrogant Criminals will be toast
On earth we seek Allah's forgiveness
Mercy and pardon opens heaven
Living in peace and righteousness
We shall met the pious in Eden
Clear hearts free from selfishness
My parents my family and me Amen
Depart all kind of evil and Jealousy
Guide us to light and not darkness
Rescue us and demolish our Enemy
Grant us victory and days of brightness
Turn back Oh Allah and make it easy
The right and justice of the chosen ones
We pray for a change and revolution
Call them ya Al Mahdi from the grave
Earth or sky Ahlo Al Bayet institution
Our Creator listens to those who grieve
We shall get along and live in Union
It was his prayers Mohamed the Brave
There's been some great entries so far - keep 'em coming!
Only a few more days to go......
Dream Sleep
See the little girl on the hillside
Lying in the wavy grasses
Like a young lioness waits
Lazily watching clouds
So content with life
Blinking, yawning
Sleeping now
Breath that's
Deep
when's the judging again?
On tenth of August which means tomorrow.Quote:
Originally Posted by the silent x
Hey this is my first post! Anyways I found writing a nonnet rather fun. I hope you enjoy.
I walked alone among the rank vines
that clung to crumbling colonnades
and bowed airy spires with weight
so great from ancient growth,
choking out the wind
whispered to me,
"Have not you
learned this
time?"
One day to go.....
OK, so the time for judging is here! Phew, this has been such a difficult task, they are all really good poems and you've made it hard for me to choose. But there has to be a winner. First a word about all the poems:
Adol : Oh the pain in this poem, it’s so palpable it makes me want to find you and give you a hug. The anger and pain is visceral, and the language used to describe it is perfect. I love ‘it spits it up’ ‘a worn deflating lump’, and the ending ‘til there is nothing left’. I hope this isn’t how you feel Adol, yet the poem has a personal quality to it which makes me worry that it is. Are you still with us? I hope you are.
Autolycus : This is very, very clever! I love ‘Seven was always missing’ and ‘five people searching for a childhood’. Are the ‘Nine rings for mortal men’ an allusion to Lord of the Rings? That was certainly the feel I got from it, and with it the sense that this was a legend about to be told. It’s an eclectic mix of images but they work so well together.
Virgil : I love the feel of this poem, the ‘refrigerator chilled’, ‘gnaw noshing’ ‘red flesh’. There’s a very tactile quality to the poem, earthy and sensuous. The ending, ‘as you nip at my ear’ is so warm against the chill of the fruit.
Il Penseroso : I wonder if you’re capable of writing anything that isn’t spun in beauty. Every line is fantastic, the ‘seashell sounds’ the ‘corpulent phrase’ and ‘crestless ripples’. I read this and think, this is how poetry is meant to be.
Symphony : What a fantastic opening! It’s the sort of opening you find yourself thinking about for days afterwards in the shower (or is that just me?). It would be easy, after such a wonderful first line, to make the rest of the poem not quite up to standard, but you’ve followed it through beautifully. I love the colour theme, the subtle rhymes, the wonderful language ‘It was I who azured the dawn’, ‘til my sleepy eyes marooned the dusk’.
Pen : I love the King Arthur theme, always been one of my favourite legends. What a fantastic opening line ‘Vanishing slowly into the mist’ , sets the scene beautifully. A lovely retelling of the tale.
Pensieve : A very poignant poem, filled with longing and disappointment. The ending is perfect, so final and so sad.
Silent X: There’s a subtle darkness to this poem, I love the juxtaposition of dark and light, life and death, reflection and shadows. Every time I read this poem I get more from it.
Orions Belt : This poem is like a snapshot, capturing one special moment. I love the theme of the poem, the leaf drifting away, something which happens and which is overlooked every day. The last 4 lines are particularly powerful.
Cdn Reader : Another fantastic opening line, really grabs you and pulls you in. There’s a subtle hint of disappointment, cleverly disguised by the beautiful language, which leaves you with the aftertaste, without the immediate pain. I love the repetition of the ‘un-‘ words, and the idea of ‘grey dreams of others past’.
StephoftheNight : I wasn’t entirely sure if this one fitted the form – on the second line the typo on the final word left it unclear. I assumed it was intended to be ‘delicately’, which would fit the theme, in which case it would be 9 syllables, not 8. It’s a beautiful poem, so expressive and full of love and loss. You convey the emotion so well, and the dreamlike quality gives it a softness, almost like the soft focus you used to get on old movies. I love the ‘dreaming of love’ and ‘dancing under the stars’. Beautiful.
Petrarch’s Love : Another very clever poem, the circle of life presented with such emotion and brevity, but yet in such a comforting way. I love the subtle drama, ‘birth pulled reluctantly’, ‘passion and then pangs’ ‘passing fast’, and ‘last gasp’. I also love the way that each line stands on its own.
Ampoule : This poem has a nice summery feel to it, I think at one time we have all been that little girl (or boy!) lay on the grass looking up at the clouds. I love the image of ‘a young lioness waits’ and the contentment that follows.
DarkZZ : I can see this fallen civilisation, the ‘crumbling colonnades’ and ‘airy spires’. I love the moral undertone, the message that says, listen to the voices of the past, don’t make the mistakes we made. There is darkness here, and a question of what mistake had been repeated. A lovely mysterious poem.
All great poems.
So, after much, much deliberation I am pleased to announce that the winner is :
Il Penseroso
With this beautiful poem:
Il Penseroso, could you pick our next form?Quote:
Originally Posted by Il Penseroso
Congratulations!!! Yes, indeed a beautiful poem. :)
To Il Penseroso: A truly original and sincere poem. quasimodo1
Great poem Il Penso. Congratulations. Very nice indeed.
Thanks Bii, ampoule, quasi, and Virgil. this one really had some outstanding entries. It must have been a very hard choice.
I'll be back after work today to post the next form. I hope to see as many great poems for the next contest.
Congrats Il Penseroso, your poems are always a treat for my eyes :) .
Well I suppose lunch break will do.
Thanks symphony, I appreciate it.
So, in an effort at something that is accessible to various poetic temperaments I'm going to make this a bit open-ended. Your task is to write a poem with each stanza fitting the tanka syllable count. I won't put a limit on how long or short the poems should be, but I will expect them to adequately explore whichever theme you as poet choose, completely and originally.
Hopefully this will spur more interest in that thread, and provide a fun challenge for the contest.
Each stanza will consist of five lines, each containing 5-7-5-7-7 syllables respectively. If you have further questions you can pm me or check the first page to the Tanka thread for clarification.
I know it's a little repetitive to do another poem with a strict syllable count but you'll have to bear with me, I'm not real familiar with many forms, nor am I any good with most of them. So I hope this will be accessible enough for many interesting entries.
I'll make the deadline September 1st, and should have them judged by the 2nd, though no guarantee. I'll do my best.
And most of all, have fun!!
Nice going, IP. Tanka, eh? Maybe I'll wait a couple days on this one...
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l1.../PuppyLove.gif
Congratulations Il Penseroso, a well deserved win. I've never written a Tanka, so this should be fun.
Well, I guess I start. Sometimes I get lucky...
Poets want comments—
Empty emotion to parchment,
The quill laps up spill—
Turning angst into verses,
Reader beware of my heart…
Pendragon
© 8/13/07
A true Tanka doesn’t require a title…
Can I join in?
In honour of the Japanese theme:
Pale as moon shadow
shrouded in cherry blossom
the Geisha dances.
She holds men’s hearts in her palm,
desire pricks her bloodied lips.
Creating whirlwinds
she swirls, a force of nature
mesmerising eyes;
each movement carefully planned,
perfectly executed.
She is mystery,
a symbol of forgotten
times when beauty reigned.
Shrouded in cherry blossom
the Geisha dances for you.
Welcome fifthelement and thanks Pen for getting the conest started. Two wonderful submissions so far. Keep 'em coming!
.
Interlude
Quietly I slip
past the consciousness of thought,
letting the sounds pull
me past the threshold of the
real world of worries and fear.
Tired eyes closed, I drift...
following the music's smile.
I float on the notes...
dance, sway, dream, explore a path
that leads me away from here.
A delicate touch
plays such simple melodies,
yet the depth of the
arrangement resonates in
smooth waves of tranquility.
The soft jazzy tones
play in concert with my heart,
skillfully building
to a gentle peacefulness...
an exquisite elegance.
For of what purpose
is life if not to welcome
simple moments of
beauty, pleasure - nay, rapture...
Let time come to a full stop.
Only then can I
feel the wingtips of the dove
brush against my skin,
hear the songs of truthfulness...
breathe the symphony of life.
.
cdn/21aug07
.
I don't recognize the particular form you're working in (just as well because I'm something of an ignoramus re the poetic forms and usually just pretend they aren't there) but I especially liked
Thanks!Quote:
Originally Posted by CdnReader
To CdnReader: You have my vote in this contest, but perhaps replace one word...nay...I think you have to be born before 1923 to use this connector. quasimodo1
cdn,
very nice poem, skillful handling of the form
Prince,
the form is supposed to be verses of tanka, with 5-7-5-7-7 syllables to each line respectively.
Just over a week left, so get writing!
silicon made me:
i have the high and the low
and nothing between;
i am learning poetry,
poetry is learning me.
haiku is simple,
as in not complex for me:
i am rational;
i can extrapolate it
and add fourteen syllables.
sonnets are easy:
trippingly upon the tongue,
they soar foreshortened;
and look, organic user,
a parallel abuser.
i have tested them:
my algorithms are fine,
neither coarse nor crude;
let us try the higher art,
let us type, "Keats," and then start.
here is a node to
autumn: seasonal myths and
fellow moodfulness;
this is too easy i think
try something harder to score.
i am the very
model of a modern mage,
a general, i...
can make this work can make this
i have FAILED this ART is WORK
silicon made me:
i have the high and the low
and nothing between;
i am learning poetry,
poetry is learning me.
^^^^^^^
autolycus - that's just great! Really love your poem.
There's a little typo (I think!) in your 5th verse 'here is a node to' or 'here is an ode to'?
I love this:
Quote:
i am learning poetry,
poetry is learning me.
Thank you very much... and, no there is no typo. It's the computer screwing up in the parsing algorithm. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by TheFifthElement
I see, it's all clear now, and more clever for it! Thank you for clarifying.Quote:
Originally Posted by autolycus
Ok, here's my entry.
Quote:
Tanka Dance
Is it always dark
When we rise to hands on limbs,
Dancing cheek to cheek?
A kiss in the darken hall
Holds our eyes for this evening.
Had I read the instructions stronger.
My tanka would have been longer...
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l1...omKane/Red.gif
Feel free to edit, right up until the deadline.
I think I'll extend this until next Sunday evening, which means only one week left for you to post a poem. Get busy!
Not so, IP. I made the error, and the poem already posted. To change it now would, in my opinion, be unfair to those who wrote out the longer poems. My poem will stand or fall as is. This is a contest, and there should be rules and deadlines. If one is ever a writer full or part-time, the publisher sets a deadline and if you do not meet it, your story will be canned. If it doesn't meet his or her specifications, your work will be tossed. I will not take unfair advantage of my fellow poets by going back and rewriting my poem now that I have read theirs. Fair is fair, and that's how I define fair. Thank you anyway.Quote:
Originally Posted by Il Penseroso
Pen
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l1.../PuppyLove.gif