wobbles up, grabs haunted and slurs 'carn do da hokey pokey'
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wobbles up, grabs haunted and slurs 'carn do da hokey pokey'
hey I just thought of something original:
Mary, you really are my darling girl. Still, I'm touched by Lallison's poem, I'm touched that my poem inspired anyone at all to write a poem as amazing as that. That's Pulitzer stuff. I have much to learn.
ok back to the party
hey Max, come, shake your booties!!!
Mary, oh Bloody Mary! bellboy, wipe up the blood please
Jer, if you really want flowers in your hair, ahem, on you head I mean... I can take the flowers and make a tiara for you to wear
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Um-ma... Delta's being naughty... Jerry, send Delta to the naughty chair... She needs some time out... (Ar, was that original... Now I am worried. Has someone else said that before... Ar, er, yes. IT WAS ME! Hahahahaha)
Great poem! This is one that can really touch people emotionally since it addresses a major issue, date rape, and does so by putting you into the mind of the woman. Your use of imagery is very vivid and sensual, which helps to draw the reader in.
The drama here is disturbing. The description is of a girl going out and getting picked up, or perhaps doing some pick up herself, and everything seems pretty casual with the exception of the spiked drink. That's disturbing. And then the screaming and the fighting.
I'm left wondering if you are trying to make a statement about sex in general. The poem leads me to empathize with how someone whose gone through this can come to perceive what should be a loving and natural act with horror. Its a chilling piece.
As far as your topic, I wouldn't call it new and original. They make documentaries about this stuff to show high school students. but the poetic language was simple, precise and vivid, deftly used to create the desired emotional effect.
Nice rhythm and use of repetition too, to drive in your point. It reminds me of dance music, which is fitting.
OMG Delta, you are cracking me up here.:hurray::hurray:
thanks. I worked hard on the composition and wanted to capture just the right atmosphere
:smash:
Im thinking Prince may spring in any moment dancing to black cherry
I have just thought of a great poem to write about my big wobbly brother.
really? I have a brother like that - oh do share in a separate thread so I can critique it...
posted vegimite :)
I don't know if you know this but
Oh, we are having another lovely thread here, based on the most touching expression of deep fondness for each other. These sentiments are quite undefinable
Im thinking Prince may spring in any moment dancing to black cherry
charming and metacognative as ever PM. Glad to see you haven't lost your edge over the past month, (it's the tipple that'll do it to you). I also appreciated the use of the feminine to represent us all, as opposed to the standard. Very sensitive and up to the times. You capture the images we all see when others think we are looking into space. It's actually inner space we are looking into, isn't it.
ok ok I'm all plagiarised out now. that was a wonderful exercise in research!
take a break Delta, Jerry's giving everybody a massage.