Another creative game

The Online Literature forum administrators regret to inform you of the untimely death of imthefoolonthehill. The United States FBI and CIA, seeing some of the confidential mathematical equations on the 'Random Thought of the Day' thread, and realizing that some problems, by statistical analysis equaled the location of a government hide-out, seized fool at his home early this morning. Agents accused him of attempting 'questionable and harmful practices' to the government location and killed him. Afterwards, family and friends buried him atop his favorite hill; his gravestone prints: "In accordance with prophecy, I have spoken."

MONO IS DEAD. There will now be no more monologues, no more monophonic ringtones (no loss there), no more monograms, no more monocles, no more monogamies (oh-oh), no more monographs, no more monoliths, no more monorails, no more monotheism, no more Monopoly, no more monotones, no more monomania, and no more monosyllables.

It is a loss to the world. (No sarcasm intended)

P.S. Scheherazade has died many different times at many different occasions for many different reasons, hasn't she...reincarnation, I s'pose. :)

We have got the sad duty to inform you that Miss Darcy commited suicide yesterday.
The cause of her suicide is believed to be hidden in the letter and the tape found nead her.
Apparently they were sent by her arch-enemy and neighbour, Miss Warcy, who was mad with jealousy, for she couldn't take the name "Miss Darcy" in the Literature Forums.
So she made up a devious plan. She imitated Miss Darcy's voice and made a tape where she used all kinds of swear words. Then she sent the letter and the tape to MIss Darcy falsely informing her that she was swearing in her sleep. Miss Warcy made a "friendly" hypothesis that probably due to a childhood trauma, Miss Darcy had supressed her will to swear, but at night, when her subconciousness was stronger, she swore like he..like Hades.
As Miss Warcy had hoped, Miss Darcy couldn't live with it and commited suicide.
She will be missed.

NEWS SPOT

Ceridwen's Revenge

"Death, be not proud, though some have called thee
Mighty and dreadful, for, thou art not so,
For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,
Die not, poor death, nor yet canst thou kill me."

Thus said John Donne, and today we are sure that the gifted Taliesin would second that. He is famous for escaping the most wickedly wicked witch Ceridwen at numerous times during his regrettably short life.

He saved Prince Elphin from a sad fate in dungeon, and was hailed throughout Wales as the greatest bard of all.

Unluckily, one day, he saw, with his gift of foresight, his death. He had a dream that he was a frog and Ceridwen a heron. He dreamt she caught him, and ate him.

The next day, he went to Prince Elphin's court for a contest of all poets in Wales (held annually in his honour; he always won). He listened, condescending as Lady Catherine de Bourgh, to all the other poets speak, and then rose to his turn.

But he could not speak. The only sound he omitted was a croak. He panicked. There was a black cat in the hall. That cat was Ceridwen. He turned himself into a dog, but Ceridwen turned herself into a -- dinosaur. Filling up the whole court, of course. Taliesin, seeing that all resistance was useless, as a larger dinosaur would necessarily not fit in the hall (and cause great damage to the King), turned himself back into a human and drank the poison that crafty Ceridwen had already prepared for him.

He died the minute after. All must be sure that there is certainly no stain of humiliation on his memory. Ceridwen had poisoned his water with magic frog spawn.

The Australian Post regrets to inform The Literature Network of the early and unforunate death of forum member, Miss_Darcy. Being finally recognized with fame as a violinist, an internationally renowned symphony requested her performance of an intimate performance of piano-violin sonatas by Debussy (my favorite!), Beethoven, and Mozart at the Australian Opera House. Darcy graced the stage with a tearful cameo, until an obsessed gunman from backstage took her life at the last note of Richard Wagner's Overture for Tannhauser. The gunman, claiming her musical talent too beautiful for earthly enjoyment (reminiscent of John Lennon's assassin), now awaits lawful punishment.
As for Miss_Darcy, she will be missed.

It is our sad duty to inform you that mono died tragically yesterday.
The leading spiritists have summoned Mono's spirit to cast light to his mysterious death.
Apparently, while he was taking a long, scenic, mountainous road to enjoy the view, he suddenly remembered that he was actually late for nursing school and started speeding. Of course, this was the wrong way to act. His car fell off a cliff and he died instantly.
He will be missed.

it is with a heavy heart that we bear these bodies back to The Literature Network. regretfully, dearly beloved, I must inform you that all known Taliesins passed away this morning.
Taliesin 1 was researching the Fibonacci sequence and its impact on dust mites, but didn't realize that he had a severe allergy to large numbers of them and died of anaphylactic shock before Taliesin 2 could rescue him.
sadly, Taliesin 2 promptly expired in revulsion at the shock of seeing the mites under Taliesin 1's microscopes.
Taliesin 3 was enjoying a dip in the pool when a nubile young lass on a raft suggested a game of blowing bubbles - he dove under water when one of hers submerged, in, may we say, an extreme act of chivalry. unfortunately he never found the bubble. it is rumored to have been not of this world, as experts agree that they have never before seen one sink.
Taliesin 4 never returned from the walk he took in his dream. we assume he found a nice place to stay and good friends where he was going.
Taliesin 5 fixed a delectable spread of peaches, bacon, pancakes, coffee cake, tea, and crepes for one of his aunts, a rather infirm older woman, and came to a suprising, tragic end when hansel and gretel pushed him into the oven when he bent to check on a cobbler he was fixing for his girlfriend, a silkie.
They are survived by Janices 1, 2, and 4; Lillians 3, 5, and 7, and Thomases 2, 5, and 6.
They will be remembered fondly for their loving ways; they will be missed.

The Literature Network expresses the greatest sorrow to inform you all of the death of forum member, talented poet, and devoted student to science, literature, and mathematics, amuse (a.k.a. azmuse).
During a tragic book-burning of what many consider as some of the most enlightening parts of literature, amuse, in her long residence 'between the lines,' sadly resulted in being consumed by the cruel fire. Her world-renowned poetry in the book burned, where she resided, lay with the greatest of her contemporaries and similar rhetorical poets, including Theodore Roethke, William Stafford, Sylvia Plath, and Langston Hughes.
She will be deeply missed.

I found him last night...It was around 10:30pm and I was browsing the poetry section of Powell's Books when I heard a huge crash.
...I immediately ran over to see what had happened and all I found was was a huge pile of books and a blooming cloud of dust.
...When I asked the two witnesses that were nearby, one of them told me that Mono had been smelling the old books, inhaling their aroma and grinning with a glassy look in his eyes.
...He will be greatly missed, though he was buried under mostly Emily Dickenson. I think he would have liked it that way.... :(

Poor dear Psyche has left us as the sad result of mono (that is, monoskulcleosis). This rare, lethal disease is an offshoot of the better know kissing disease, but is transmitable only through kissing skulls. The skull in itself is not necessarily deadly, but the wrath of Psyche's S.O. upon finding out that she was kissing skulls sealed her sad fate.

On a recent trip to the states snukes and company decided to tour the world famous Aunt Jemima factory, famous for it's frozen breakfast foods. While on the tour snukes wanted to get a closer look at the process and leaned to far over the railing failing into a batter mix, no one noticed that snukes was misssing until the end of the tour, by then it was too late, our dearest snukes was turned into frozen belgium waffles.

It is not the fact of the apple falling onto Papayahed's head from the tree below which she rests that led to her demise, but instead it was the continuously deep sighing that eventually caused her to exhale once to many times....

. . . and that's what I told Mabel, I told her it doesn't do for her to be sticking her nose in everyone else's business."

"You did NOT!"

"I most certainly did. As prim and proper as you please, I might add."

"What'd she say?"

"Oh, you know Mabel. Stuck her nose in the air all high and mighty-like and stalked off like she was the Queen of Sheeba. I declare, if that girl didn't gossip like she did . . ."

"Whose misfortune was she living off of today?"

"Oh, she was spreading the very latest about Mister Baddad."

"What's wrong with Mr. Baddad?"

"Oh, you hadn't heard? Did you ever hear him talk 'bout that distinct presence in his belly, somethin' bout it being like the very nature of an emotion?"

"Yes, I believe so."

"Well, that was no emotion."

"What was it?"

"Stomach cancer."

"NO!"

"I'm afraid so."

"That's awful!"

"I agree. That's what I was trying to tell Mabel. I said, ' . . .

Poor Poor Basil, While on his (You didn't answer the gender poll so I'm just guessing) daily trek through the okefenoke swamp to hunt for dinner for the rest of the Basil family, Basil was confronted by a Tortoise and a Hare. It was obvious the 2 were up to no good, as Basil could spot a liter of gin sticking out of the Hares overalls and the tortoise's shell was covered in prison tattos. The Tortoise pulled out a gun and told Basil he wanted to race against him. Basil agreed, the course laid out. The hare sounded the airhorn and the pair were off. It was obvious basil was going to win, he had a great lead on the tortoise. About 5 feet from the finish line, Basil dropped to the ground. In the distance the tortoise could be seen putting his gun back into his pocket as he kept going, and thats the real reason the tortoise always wins.

For maintaining her constant avatar of Charlie Brown from Peanuts, as a promotional endeavor, Z-Brand peanuts sponsored papayahed recently, and designed the animated character, Charlie Brown's t-shirt into continuous Z's attached. Following a press conference with a long respectable speech by papayahed on 80's rock and marketing techniques, she agreed to make an appearance in a commercial. Poor papayahed, the newest on the job, discovered that she had never liked peanuts, yet still consumed a handful for the television commercial; however, since she had not eaten peanuts in so long, papayahed had not known of a common peanut allergy. Immediately proceeding the filming of the commercial, papayahed experienced a serious allergic anaphylactic reaction, and died later that day.
At her funeral, where city officials buried her near Charles Schultz, Charlie Brown left his famed baseball glove, Linus donated his beloved blanket, Schroeder provided the music, Snoopy his collar, Woodstock his birdhouse, and Lucy her 5¢ psychiatric help for the grieving.
She will be missed.