Shoot. Was it? Disregard my poem then, I didn't know about the picture thing :brickwallQuote:
Originally Posted by AdoreroDio
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Shoot. Was it? Disregard my poem then, I didn't know about the picture thing :brickwallQuote:
Originally Posted by AdoreroDio
OK, I have not forgotten... I hereby promise to make a final decision this weekend! Grr. Tough tough tough.
Thanks autolycus! Good luck.
can't wait!
Good luck! you'll need it! ;)
In keeping with the newly-established tradition of agonizing over excellent poetry, I am going to put my thoughts down first, in this post. The next will announce the winner. If I don't get this down now, I shall just drop dead from nervous tension...
Rintrah: Yours is the London of the late-19th and 20th centuries, the London almost of Neil Gaiman and Christopher Fowler; the poem is a poignant balancing act between the poverty of the world and its concurrent moments of richness. I love the narrative style. I must think about the inherent bias I bring to this, though, having been a Brit for half my life. *grin*
Xeryous: I think you see three figures crucified. I could be wrong, but your poem seems to suggest it, and you have taken the picture into the realms of spiritual transcendence. A very thought-provoking piece, very dark against the jolly colours. It is even more disturbing when I opened the text up alongside the picture.
Mir: Heh, this mode of poetry doesn't go well with explicit pictures. But it comes very close to some sort of trinitarian (triadic?) exposition - flesh, spirit, mind. I think your piece probably contains almost the fewest words which can do justice to the picture.
Adolescent09: 'Geometric Tropic Saints' makes a good attempt to capture the meaning woven into the intense emotional colouring of the picture. I especially like the line 'Making passion/through angular knee/geometry' - it made me laugh in pleasure; it just sounded so naughty. ;-)
Pendragon: "Order from Chaos" sounded like part of Mir's poem, heh. Ah, for some reason (I don't quite know why, though), your poem reminded me of Browning's 'My Last Duchess'. That, too, examines a painting. Your poem makes one want to examine the picture obsessively; for that reason, it belongs in a museum guide to such pictures. *grin*
decon_blue: Hmm. Not sure which is your entry, but I was amused by the six-liner that began with "She never taught one,/How could she. She was worried." The last two lines didn't do justice to the first four though, I feel. The second one is a little obscure to me though; maybe I'm just being obtuse.
Petrarch's Love: "Every muscle tautened into grace until/Limbs turn to lines and color streams from sweat..." could almost be about the poem itself, 'Telling the Dancer from the Dance'. Somehow, the cadence gathers to fullness; the whole piece, especially the last line, reminds me of Keats's 'Ode to Autumn', rather than the imagery of Yeats. And it's an acrostic poem too! *grin*
Dante_Wodehouse: 'Sonnet' really reminds me more of Yeats - specifically, -Sailing to Byzantium' - because of the artificial birds, the dancing saints, the sense of pervasive light. The rhythm does a good job of emulating the marionette-like behaviour of the subjects of the picture.
Virgil: 'Three Sisters At The Dance' is a tour-de-force of triplets, I think. But why twelve triplets? *grin* I almost expected 3 x 3. It's a very dynamic poem.
Orionsbelt: Hey, this one was really entertaining. I read it at least four times, trying to see it without reference to the picture. It actually implies its own picture, one which is at least as entertaining as the one I provided. It's a very active, iridescent, kaleidoscopic sort of image that it leaves in my mind. "Orange brass ensemble vibrate yellow amoroso... dark minor scale fish lead light major dolphins... " indeed!
ktd222: Nature in three persons, ending in black. I love the first seven lines, from "Fundamentally we do not exist./Compare Nature..." to "...into our bodies, shaping, Her radiance..." I wonder, though, if you could have done better with the rather too abrupt last lines - "black black black" would have done well left at three, perhaps?
AdoreroDio: I see a dance teacher in the zone... Sometimes, when I look at my students, I feel the sensation which your poem describes. Yours is a very (I hope I do not insult you) teacherly poem. It brings out that particular essence of human experience.
Il Penseroso: There is something very beautiful about the imagery in your poem, especially after "...drip beauty like/a morning petal... " and to the ultimate "...spreading to fill/the yawning moon." It makes me wonder which of the three dancers is the protagonist here, or whether all three dancers are actually one...
Kandaurov: I'm so sorry that you missed the rules. We certainly would welcome you to the next round. Your poem doesn't fit the picture, but it's a very intense piece of writing; it would do well with a little editing to fit another picture, perhaps? For some reason, it reminds me of Virgil's wolf avatar.
dramasnot6: 'Dance of Life' is a marvellous piece, melding rainbow and stages of life. It ends with a fabulous denouément as well. Each of those verses could be a poem in its own right. In fact, personally (and of course, I don't hold you to it!) I would like to see each section developed into a full poem. Otherwise, it seems too great to fit into the small matrix ordained for it. *grin*
After much agony (and four unmarked stacks of essays which will now return to torment me), I declare the winner of the competition to be...
Petrarch's Love
for an outstandingly developed concept which just 'happened' to have some great lines and manage to be an acrostic poem all at once.
I would have liked to award further prizes; thank goodness I don't have to - seeing as the rising level of excellence makes it brain-bustingly difficult.Quote:
Code:"Telling the Dancer from the Dance"
Drawn to the barre like birds to fruited branch,
Alighting with detailed poise and skill,
Nodding, swaying gently as they start the dance,
Controlling every move with focused will
Every muscle tautened into grace until
Limbs turn to lines and color streams from sweat:
Instant metamorphosis when lungs fill,
Veins course and flesh fulfills its debt,
Inspiring the spirit to forget
Nagging sins and fears that it is heir to.
Glowing more bright than eye can see they let
All themselves be transformed and created new.
Routinely, while in quiet practice they devote their hours
The air around them bursts, and moves, and changes with their power.
Congratulations to PL! *grin*
And now I shall go away and bury my head in a tun of cold beer. Considering that at one point I found myself drafting essay outlines for commentary on some of your poems, I deserve it. Thank you, everyone, for giving me a good Friday night (and the many days before that)!
Thank you so much for all your time and effort autolycus. And also thank you for the wonderful, thorough commentary you gave us all.
Congratulations Petrarch!
Congratulations PL! Victory well deserved. And thanks Auto for your thoughtful response to our entries.
I agree! PL won fair and square, congratulations! Autolycus, thank you for your zeal and patience! I appreciate all the trouble you went through by commenting all poems, even the ones completely off-the-mark, such as mine :D
No, nobody's been naughty...ok well maybe a few of you have :lol: This has been a great contest! but this thread is getting reeeeeeally long (and was started almost a year ago), there is tons to read here, especially for a newbie who might want to join in, so, I think it is time to start off fresh with a new one.
Someone /anyone feel free to start another thread for this contest with the rules etc and maybe with a link to this one too, I will make the new thread a sticky once its been posted :)