Litnet's version of Devil's dictionary

Seduction: The gentle art of inducing someone to sleep with you.

Fabrication: The act or process of manufacturing something, usually excuses.

Aphrodisiac

Aphrodisiac: a discreet trip to Viagra falls

Missionary position

Missionary position: Basic Intercourse 101

Cynic:

Cynic: A residual idealist and romantic who has been hurt by life and/or other people to an extent he or she will protect what is left of that idealism and romanticism like it was their last breath.

Decadence:

Decadence: Drowning in aestheticism.

Organic

Organic: $1.20 more at the produce section

Komodo dragon

Komodo dragon: Gigantic and very dangerous lizard that fortunately lives only on the island of Komodo, where they can stay!

Fire:

Fire: humankind's most significant technological breakthrough prior to the fire extinguisher

Zephyr

Zephyr - The west wind, whose "swete breth" wafts through many an old fashioned poem.

Profound

Profound: a lost quality sometimes retrievable in a special place known as the Lost and Profound

Interloper

Interloper : A person who interferes or meddles in the affairs of others, usually with the result of making the problem worse, not better

Nosy:

Nosy: the Seven Dwarves obnoxious neighbor

Pixie

Pixie: An elf on the shelf.


Mordor:

Mordor: Land of the Great Evil Eye.

Style

Style: David Bowie

Pragmatic

Pragmatic: Feeling practical about having one's knickers in a twist

Callous:

Callous: Not giving a damn.

Epic

Epic: Very large in scope.

Lugubrious

Lugubrious: Emo, like Eyeore the donkey.

Childhood

An unending state undaunted by self-delusion and only ended by death.

Antediluvian

Antediluvian: Before the flood that Noah rode out on the ark. If you disbelieve the story of Noah, then sometime in the distant past before some sort of flood came through the area where the archeological dig is now.

Prehistoric:

Prehistoric: a little understood period before the Sumerian invention of beer

Stegosaurus

Stegosaurus: A four legged cross between a lizard and a comb with toothpicks on the tail. Fortunately this behemoth was a vegetarian

Wrong:

Middlebrow aesthetics, progressive rock, pretensious preference for "foreign films," Paul McCartney and Wings, claims Downton Abbey is Art, the Nobel committe's bias against White American Male authors, pretensious dismissal of artistic Television, judgment of people harming no one, Post-Grunge, Joel Schumacher films, Sandra Bullock, Steven Soderbergh's Solaris, and Bono in Rattle and Hum

Transcendent

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pendragon

Stegosaurus: A four legged cross between a lizard and a comb with toothpicks on the tail.

---

And don't forget the brains in its as s. ;-)

Wrong: the future perfect of "wring."

Caliban

Privileged young people, often from California, who attempt to join violent religious extremist groups for reasons known only to themselves.

Hypocrisy

Greek for acting (sort of)

Laughing stock

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pendragon

Prehistoric:

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Over-emphasis on classical philosophy and aesthetics

Anhedonic

Laughing stock: People who stand on their own convictions rather than follow the existing norm. Sometimes this changes so fast you can be both a laughing stock and an accepted authority worthy of praise in the hours of a single day.

Anhedonic: One so miserable that they can take pleasure in nothing, whose knickers are in a permanent twist.

Hipster:

Hipster: every young person today who calls someone else a hipster

Dionysian

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pendragon

Hipster:

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Already defined by YesNo as one just far enough from mainstream to look stupid. :)

Laughing stock

One who obliviously posts the same thing twice. :)

Repetition

Repetition: see senility :)

Toaster

Toaster: A place to put a tart until she pops.

Tart:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pendragon

Spartan:

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The food budget of the typical English graduate school student.

Edwardian:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by YesNo

Tart:

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Tart: A lady susceptible to the illicit acquisitiveness of Jacks, especially those of heart.

Teaching assistant ;-) :

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pendragon

Spartan:

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The food budget of the typical English graduate school student.

Edwardian:

A time when a woman of privilege wore a corset. As God and Nature intended.

Accordion:

Something that makes Christina Hendricks' character in Mad men even hotter

Solipsist

Teaching Assistant: The Jack of Hearts employed to show the Queen of Hearts’ tartlets how it’s done.

Absolute Beginner: