oh right cojones --- the j sounds like h in espanol right...I forgot. drunk spellings...:-DQuote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
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oh right cojones --- the j sounds like h in espanol right...I forgot. drunk spellings...:-DQuote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
I missed all the sporting clashes. Been sampling Hertog Jan in Holland this weekend, a surprisingly drinkable lager favoured by the students of Arnhem.
They also like to sing "The Train Song" whilst drinking the above, I dont have an exact translation of this, but the chorus goes whooo whöö whöö. (you had to be there)
Ahh those dutch, zay are crazshy man!
I didn't really escape entirely!Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Ah, my evil plan is taking root; yet, another honorary bloke.
I don't want any cohones...They seem utterly usless to me. They keep getting bigger over the years until the poor penis almost gets lost in the wrinkles. I've never figured out why the guys want to carry around a couple of walnuts in such a huge pigskin purse. Now personally, If I were a bloke; I would just want a really big penis; One that I could throw over my shoulder. They'd call me "The envy of wallstreet" and women would run squealing when I walked down the street!:eek2:
:lol: !
Brilliant!
You are definitely an honorary bloke now!
R e m i n d e r
This Forum welcomes people from all age groups as well as people from different religious and cultural backgrounds.
Please keep this fact in mind while posting.
Now for something completely different. Tiger Woods sneaks up the stairs at two in the morning, WHAM his wife hits him on the back of his head with his favourite titanium driver, what a swing. He stumbles downstairs and into his car SMASH his wife shatters his windscreen with a three iron, CRASH he hits a fire hydrant slews across the road and BASH hits a tree. She pulls him from the car and slashes him several times across the face with a Nike tee. ' Listen buster you will keep out of the rough and stick to the fairway fom now on. ' The moral being, never play away when married to someone who knows how to raise her game. :)
See what happens when you allow women into the club?Quote:
Originally Posted by Scheherazade
:D
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
That could be how it went down.
I don't normally care for celebrity gossip, but to see Woods actually be shown to be human and subject to human error is pretty good.
The side question of how someone could be married to Elin and even realise other women existed, let alone be attractive, remains unanswered.
Atheist, there are some things in this life that are unknowable, as Donald Rumsfeld used to say. I suspect your beloved science will never answer this one. ' there are more things in heaven and earth, Atheist, than are dreamt of in your philosophy ' :)Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
I know. They just cause you get reminders and warnings from the moderators...Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
:rolleyes:
Is this thread still about beer? In which case does anyone drink this? I am really developing a taste for it. :thumbs_up
You know your nickname amongst private messengers , of course you do. Beware the THREADENDER. BRRR :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Scheherazade
Wha...??? You... You call me "threadender"?!?!???Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
*goes to the corner to curl up into a ball and cry herself to sleep*
:rolleyes:
You dont mean Caledonian Deuchars do you ? I believe a few Edinburghwegian undergraduates still keep the tradition alive. Listen Ginger my entymological buddy I am sure we have had a run in before. As to your original point, we gave up talking about beer after the fifth or sixshhh pint. Where's that Prendrelemick, I hope he didn't make a hash of his Dutch expedition. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Red-Headed
Well, it's available south of the border now.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
I see. It's just that drinking beer is one of my hobbies. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Red-Headed
You mean to tell me Deuchars is available in Mexico! A bit of good Scottish advice, never, but never mix beer and literature, it is a recipe for disaster, take it from one who knows. :)
Great analogy!Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Yeah, but still, if it happened at work, someone would have probably lodged a sexual harrassment suit and we'd all be wearing striped clothes!Quote:
Originally Posted by Scheherazade
Can't find a more honourable hobby than that!Quote:
Originally Posted by Red-Headed
No way Atheist, Jocky may not have the X factor but I have defenitely got the squirm factor. Moderators, plural ? You mean Schez is like a big front for something far more sinister! Tell me your not a moderator Atheist, oh my God it's Mick, I knew it, I have walked right into a trap. This is a Kafkaesque moment, I want to break free :)Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
No (well it might be), it's just the global warming making you think that it is Mexico.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Too late for me, I'm on several units of alcohol a day & three paperbacks a week. I just don't think I can cold turkey...Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Is it worse than mixing the hop & the vine? :eek2:
Well I might be able to, but I am usually far too busy drinking ale in the pub.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Aah, a troubled man, it could be the red hair! I can clearly see you are having difficulties, do you not mean several paper backs and three units of alcohol a week? My advice would be this, whether it be the metaphysical poets, the English language ( God help us all ) or Bernard Mathew's Pot Roasts the Blokes Thread is here for you. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Red-Headed
[QUOTE=The Atheist;811347]See what happens when you allow women into the club?
No, it's okay with any of the other women; I've just got this special talent: when I say the P word or talk about anything gratifying; it gratifies people enough that they assume there must be something wrong with it...In case anyone hasn't noticed; I'm not the one starting all those new sexually explicit threads...I'm just enjoying them...:p
I'm not sure, after freebasing some Foucault I kind of lost track.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Ah! Those Metaphysical poets & their conceits...Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
As for Bernard Matthew's Pot Roasts...definitely not bootiful. :eek:
[QUOTE=soundofmusic;811609]Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Enough already Sounds, you dont need to explain yourself here. Your previous post has already put me off walnuts for the rest of my life. We blokes are a bit squeemish about that sort of thing - (graphic descriptions of our willies:sick:)- we prefer to believe that women are all innocents who are unable to resist our male charm, which is magnified to irresistable proportions through alcohol.
[QUOTE=prendrelemick;811707]:santasmil Sorry, When you receive your present marked "Don't open 'til Xmas"; just return it unopened: It is a beautiful German Soldier Nutcracker:lol: Just be glad you're not a woman and have to look at O'keefe; I got traumatized everytime I saw a bee! Do you suppose women drink to become innocent...I hear men tell me the women look much better after a few drinks. :ladysman:Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
Surely a lady would avert her gaze.:lol:
They're everywhere!Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Luckily, my passport is stamped with "Never, ever allowed to be a moderator".
I'm just not..... moderate enough.
Actually, comparing this one
Sounds terminal, you'll just have to live with it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Red-Headed
Nothing, but nithing's worse than that.Quote:
Originally Posted by Red-Headed
Sexually explicit threads?Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
I'm off!
Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
I don't agree with that at all.Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
It's aliens, I tell ya!
Going to bed with Miss World at 3 am and waking up with the She-Devil at noon can only be proof that alien abductions are real.
I'll live, just as long as I can score some 'E' (existentialism) or some Dante's Divine Comedy...I'm really hurting for some tricento Italian literature...Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Mixing Dan Brown & Jeffrey Archer paperbacks? :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
[/QUOTE]
Avert, next time I'm wearing blinders:eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Well, I've found that the folks around the forums cycle with their love of sexually explicit material...I suppose it is followed by a great deal of self imposed flogging and church going, family picnics and giving their mother in laws pedicures.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Yes, I've meant the aliens also; but I date Mr World, have four months of blissful activity and momentous nights...they turn into aliens about the time we get a joint checking account!:mad:
[/QUOTE]Quote:
Originally Posted by Red-Headed
:)
Stick with Dante a great trecento poet. If you can find a great tricento Italian writer, your journey to the inferno may be sooner than you think. Really!
Did I ever tell you about the the time I was alienly abducted? O.K. guys I obvously did but that experience left its mark on me. Me and Arthur.C. Clarke had long discussions about this, I was under hypnosis, obviously, but I do remember flashbacks such as, the second wave and watch the skies, watch the skies. I swear I will never go to bed with Miss World again. :cold:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
I demand an explanation for the unforgiveable lack of german beer in this thread! We invented the juice so you might as well pay homage to the pros.
Damn, I'm so strung out I can't even spell trecento! :eek2:Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
I blame the Deuchars IPA.
Wunderbar. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by MGK
http://thm-a02.yimg.com/image/4ebb8f49bfd09320
Hold the presses!
new information has come to my attention
Sierra Nevada Bigfoot Ale 330 calories 9.6% alcohol and only 32 grams of carbs.
Who needs food? German beer? why not name a few of your favorites MGK?
local ad for fine chocolate notes that a women might not want a man after enough of that (not desiring a freak of nature).
the tunnel between area 51 and the nevada nuclear test site recently discovered (that explains miss world becoming the coyote ugly one you wake up with: makes you chew your arm off at the elbow and leave the forearm under her head right where it was when you awoke, and fearing IT might re-awake)
Minnesota Viking adrian peterson thankful that tiger took all the media focus away from him
glad I quit international travel before they started requiring passports.
Worse than a beaujolias hangover.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
More to do witht he unforgiveable lack of Germans in the thread!Quote:
Originally Posted by MGK
The invention of beer is a funny one, with the earliest record being in Iran, where they don't like it all nowadays.
Jocky, I suggest you cover your eyes at this time:
http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s...heist/i112.jpg
http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s...heist/i113.jpg
http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s...heist/i114.jpg
http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s...heist/i115.jpg
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by gbrekken
Sometimes, the world is less strange than we expect.
:rage: Atheist you will be glad to hear the perpetrators of this unspeakable act of wanton destruction were executed by me personally, several times over. My orders were perfectly clear burn the books, not the booze. :bawling::bawling::bawling:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
:eek::eek2: The inhumanity of it all.:bawling:
Reminds me of my youth.
Did you cry a lot babe? You are not another one of those moderator thingies are you? Jocky is going to have something to say about this in the near future. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by papayahed
Here's a question: In a professional setting why in green hell would a man refer to his female coworker as "babe" and think that was ok?Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
First "Babe" now "Thingie"?? I think you are treading on thin ice there mister -I might make you call me "Your Highness"Quote:
You are not another one of those moderator thingies are you? Jocky is going to have something to say about this in the near future. :yawnb:
:goof:
Mods are everywhere....
Watching........
You
Och, relax and have a beer, you have got bigger fish to fry than me. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by papayahed
Important notification
My fellow threadists, Jocky has just appointed himself as C.H.M. or chief high moderator. The new rules are as follows: Anyone not posting about sex, sport, booze, manly pursuits, oh and the odd literary reference is herebye banned from the Blokes Thread. My first official duty was a formal approach to Sheherazade, informing her politely, but firmly that future interference will not be brooked. I hope my arbitrary and undemocratic actions meet with your approval.