Pam

Pam is secretly married to Donald Trump.

PAM breaks out singing "Eye of the Tiger" loudly as a daily motivator - no matter the location

Pam breeds Piranahs for Bond villains in his own bathtub!

PAM has barbed wire braces

Pam keeps her stockings up with garters made from iron cross medal ribbons.

Pam screams, "get out of my yard" at public parks on Sundays (only)

PAM enjoys marshmallow froth on top of his hot chocolates.

Pam hijacks shipments of easter eggs and pigs out at weekends!

PAM has a car phone, still works.

Pam likes to take his 25lb howitzer to school

PAM thinks marshmallows make pretty good ear plugs...

And they have the added advantage that chicks stop for a nibble in passing!

Pam thinks that string grows wild on beanstalks and can be knitted into edible vests.

PAMs idea of a good time is patting bumblebees because they are so fuzzy and cute

Pam learned how to smile from a Great White.

PAM learned how to bleed from a Great White