A Short Collection of Trashy Poems

so that's it
so simple
one quantum leap back
and I can be there again
to kiss it all better
the mother of all wounds

excellent writing Haunted.

Thanks so much, Fire and Delta, it's reassuring and I really appreciated it after wrestling with it for so long.

Hi Haunt. Fair comment about Los Alamos and thanks for the link. We learn something new every day :D Generally a good edit. The only thing I'd quibble at is "as if to resonate" resonate what? given the context, "and it resonates" would make more sense here as it would then connect directly with the cup in the echoey canyon. Just a thought.

Live and be well - H

Good catch Hawk, I was using "resonate" to mean the reverberations within the canyon, and also contextually in the sense of reaching an agreement that both pain and happiness are relative. Did I phrase it correctly, taking into consideration of both meanings? Maybe, "as if trying to resonate", or "in an attempt to resonate"... I don't know....have rocks in my head this morning, oh, its almost pm.

I can see how you would think Los Alamos was flat. The whole area is a semidesert and most people picture deserts as a flat piece of sand that stretches for miles, like the Sahara. Here, maybe certain parts of Nevada, I really don't know that area too well, just that I've driven through miles upon miles of flat desert from LA to Vegas. But Los Alamos is in New Mexico which the state just below Colorado which has some really great mountains for skiing and even hosted the Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City, and Los Alamos is part of that regional landscape. Maybe it's part of the Rockies? And while I was looking it up on the map, I spotted a place called Truth or Consequences south of Los Alamos. What a name. Imagine spinning a poem out of that destination....

revealed


a friend found out
from another friend
who found out that heaven
is actually a few feet
above where we are standing

as I confide in him
I measure by eye
that heaven starts
roughly around his ribs
while he leans over
the slick quartz counter
and laces my virgin bloody mary
with a pinch of sin

Hi Haunt. Nice little poem but you've got a slight problem in the expression in S2. As written, it says that the slick quartz counter is lacing your Bloody Mary with sin. Easy fix: "and laces..." As this would flow from the preceding concept without incongruous ambiguity.

Nice wry humour in this piece with a little bite. Much enjoyed.

Live and be well - H

Nicely suggestive - though I'd expect the narrator's version of heaven to be a few inches below the ribs.

H

Walker's going down the hill! though I must confess I had the same thought, :) Haunted. Loved the wit of your poem!

Love it, Haunted! You are the mistress of suggestion!

Thanks Hawk, I didn't see that, I'll fix it. So glad you enjoyed it.

Hill, you have no idea how many different body parts I have auditioned, from buns to booties to Elvis pelvis :D. But I decided on ribs. It's not the most interesting, I admit, but it's got the biblical reference. And I didn't want to give it away so early and quite frankly, I couldn't come up with anything else half decent!

Bar, I figured you would. Thanks!

Thanks Qim, that made my day :)

I nearly missed this one. Damn you, single thread! :D
I enjoyed your devilish side, Haunted ;) Those closing four lines are straight from hell. I love them.

So glad you found this Jerry and thanks for your comment!

* about to post a new half baked trashy poem, bumping this down to start on a new page *

* again *

* one more *