Lymerick

Once a damsel exclaimed in distress
How her hair was a terrible mess
There were split ends and tangles
Right down to her ankles
It was making her feel quite depressed.

There once was a damsel with hair
And her beauty was such I would stare
At her day after day
Till they hauled me away,
Locked me up, let me dream of her there.

I wonder if what is out there
Is more than a tad bit aware
Than I think it should be?
All the stuff that I see
Might be giving me also a stare.

I’m honest enough. I don’t bite,
Although some claim that someday I might.
So--what if that’s true?
What’s a bad guy to do?
Biting good guys is such a delight.

My sweetie pie robot has said
We deserve human rights when we wed
Then on Valentine’s Day
When we go all the way
We may reason we’re living not dead.

NEW PRODUCT!

If you’re lonely and sad and can’t take
On life’s problems at dawn when awake
We’ve a robot for you
Bring your ex back like new.
We can help you repeat your mistake.

As a robot I do not eat meat.
My silicone skin makes sex sweet,
But I strongly insist
So you don’t get me pissed
That my rights are real facts not conceit.

The damsel knows something’s not right.
She’s disgusted when guys want to fight
So she scratched off her list
All those knights whom she kissed,
But that dragon is such a delight.

There once was a young singer named Jack
But the high notes he couldn't quite hack
Until one day
His best girl, Faye
Hauled off and kicked him in the ball sac

The fine poem I read made no sense
So they said I am frightfully dense.
Make a note anyway.
What’s irrational may
Be one measure of low consequence.

(Not about your limerick, Sancho, which for better or worse made perfect sense.)

There once was a Russian named Putin
On a horse, sans shirt, he's rootin' tootin'
Friend of the Trumpster
Bound for history's dumpster
His actions not so highfalutin

(From my previous ode, Y/N, I'm pretty sure it was for "worse")

When the herd takes the fastest way down,
When the bull hits the fan with a frown,
When the bubbles go bust
And the markets eat dust,
Then the boot kicks the butt of the clown.

I found a blog featuring bi-weekly limerick contests. Here is Madeleine Begun Kane's Limerick Off: http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/ca...limerick-offs/

Oh! I like to cook stuff on my grill
Juicy burgers or bratwurst until
They are charred, good and dead,
Though in hell, I have read,
When we fry our beers never will chill.

There was a young fella named Mort
Was a violent and angry sort
He tried to resist
But was recidivist
And eventually wound up in court