Pam

Pam can't do this because he only has one.

PAM owns a chest toupee.

On Saturday nights, Pam dusts the life-size cutout of William Shatner that has pride of place in her hall and sings "There's Klingons on the Starboard Bow" at full volume (but slightly out of tune) in the shower. Then she goes out and gets drunk on Romulan ale while trying to pick up slumming Vulcans.

PAM has a cardboard out out of Dr. Crusher.

PAM watches the oscars and has been known to punch the tv, when fave movie is not picked.

PAM puts on a tuxedo and pops open the champagne when watching The Oscars.

Pam collects old cinema hotdogs and uses them as draft excluders in her living room.

PAM has spinach in his teeth.

Pam has a pet 'gator called Aloisius. She takes him for walks and feeds him her discarded boyfriends.

erm....PAM begs to borrow Aloisius to help him pick up chicks.

PAM sometimes breaks into a 'skip' at work - each day a thrill

PAM likes to play hockey without a helmet.

Pam has a sideline in selling home-made, mail-order audiobooks of the Marquis de Sade's greatest hits, in Klingon.

Pam spreads her thin coat. When her temperature heats up, she steams, then singes even the the toughest-skinned lads.

PAM has a booger in their nose.