Thank you Fifth Element. I love reading contemporary poems - I feel like I'm learning something important.
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Thank you Fifth Element. I love reading contemporary poems - I feel like I'm learning something important.
Sorry for the delay. Here are the results of the contest:
Pendragoln, I liked the gravity you gave the tanka by ranking it with an epic poem's subject matter.
alexar, I especially liked your last line "she do but agree. And go." You get around to making a point, poetic.
quimissung, ,"the willow loves the water". What can't you read into that? The willow has always spoken to me of timelessness.
The Fifth Element, "mind stilled to beating silence -". You've succeeded in making the line tangible. For me, your poem is raised one step above music. It examines substance in the simplicity of poetry. Well done. You win.
Thanks alakungfu :)
For the next form I’d like to propose a Persian form of poetry called ruba’i,
This type of poem was first encountered in the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam, translated by Fitzgerald and from which it gains its name. Here’s an example of a poem from the Rubaiyat:
The ruba’i is a fairly straightforward form consisting of a quatrain with the rhyme scheme AABA. It can be used in stanza form (i.e. multiple quatrains) in which case the rhyme scheme alters to AABA BBCB CCDC and so on; in theory you could go all the way to Z but that would surely take some willpower! A very well known example of the ruba’i form is the very eminent Robert Frost’s poem Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening which is below. In the poem you can see how Frost has followed this strict rhyming scheme quite effortlessly with a slight cheat in the final quatrain. No cheating will be permitted in this contest, I’m afraid ;)Quote:
Ah, Love! could you and I with Him conspire
To grasp this sorry Scheme of Things entire,
Would not we shatter it to bits--and then
Re-mould it nearer to the Heart's Desire!
and with that most excellent poem in mind I leave you with a final request of my own:Quote:
Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
I look forward to reading your poems.Quote:
Friend poets I ask you, turn your art
to the ruba'i, and please take part
in this small contest, but beware, you'll see
the ruba'i tests both mind and heart.
Deadline is 07th August.
Congratulation, fifth. It is a fine poem.
I don't often come to this thread so I missed this fine poem until now, but I love the evocativeness of it and the economy. The reference to willows could not but remind me of this spontaneous quatrain my grandson, 4 or 5 at the time, addressed to his 2-years younger sister:Quote:
Originally Posted by qimissung
I love you more than a fish.
I love you more than a cornstalk.
I love you more than a willow
floating on a mud pool.
Congratulations, fifth!
Erm, regarding the quatrain-- no meter I hope? :alien:
Oh no, I think you've probably got your hands full with the rhyming scheme, adding meter would be cruel...erm, on second thoughts...no, only kidding! No metrical rules apply.Quote:
Originally Posted by symphony
Yes, I would like to try. Thank you!
I'm in. I haven't written anything in ages. I need to start again.
:lol: Thank you Prince. I think I like your grandson's best!Quote:
Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin
Yes, I know it is long, but you can blame that on Fifth. LOL I kid, but as soon as Fifth brought it up, I had to make the challenge, and take this thing all the way to z.
My Lover in the Night
Darkness came upon my soul
into the shadows we stole
to ride upon the tides of night,
my troubled dreams the reaper will console.
Cast beneath pure moonlight,
may her silver highness grant insight,
before the wind bores me away,
and on my dark horse I hold tight.
I hear the whispers of the fay,
for a moment in my saddle sway,
where we descend to the world of dreams,
dazzled I watch in dismay.
There a distant castle gleams
the ruins of ancient regimes,
among fallen pillars I walk,
and listen to caressive streams.
And above a majestic flock
summoned by the wizard's clock,
to breathe this sweet still air
that speaks of a far away dock.
For a tinge of salt lingers there,
let us attend the spirits fair,
already their haunted lutes begun,
in this masquerade of the dead we'll share.
Around the fire we are spun
in the ceremony of the pagan
this is the winking witching hour
cackling in our macabre fun.
Strong are the threads of power
drawing us now to the marble tower,
from the ghoulish party we depart,
crossing through the mystic shower.
Here now a shudder in my heart,
awestruck by this realm I became apart
where I wander with my worthy guide,
how I'll mourn when we must depart.
To him my secrets I confide,
he takes my hand and sets our stride
to find ourselves within a dark hall
where lonely echoes seem to glide.
Faces shimmer upon the wall
and take up their desperate call
for we have found the corridor of the lost,
soundlessly they forever fall.
This threshold swiftly crossed
less my own soul suffer great cost,
now before us a lake of stars
where all forgotten wishes are gently tossed.
Shadows of the trees make foreboding bars
reminiscent of fading scars
and I feel a growing sorrow,
this precious moment forever ours.
But this time I had to borrow
and now there comes a new tomorrow
already the sun begins to rise
amongst a filed of pungent yarrow.
So I look darkness in the eyes
ever the reaper did well advise,
painful is our leave taking
as we ascend back into the skies.
Yet ever I feel the dull aching
certain my heart is breaking
stoically he gives me a hush
while in death's arms I am quaking.
A touch of his cold lips brush
and then we are off in a rush
this dreamland left far behind
and I in full flush.
Now ever with shadows my soul entwined,
for the memories never shall unwind,
as the world comes back upon me
someday again each other we'll find.
Never again can I be free
as you carry me across the sea,
and all too soon in my bed I sleep
wishing we stood beneath the willow tree.
And until the morning I do weep
when at last the light begins to creep
I waken with a sense of wonder
for a secret I will always keep.
Yet ever more torn asunder
in my mind rolls a distant thunder,
to spend my days in an outward gaze,
surely I fear I will sink under.
For lost within this haze
wishing once more for your surreal maze
I call into the night for your return
for you have set something inside me ablaze.
Over a thousand eternities I would yearn
while my soul continues to burn
for you were my otherworldly lover
and that I could never spurn.
Let us once again secret worlds discover
while beneath her dark majesties cover,
for as I lay me down again to bed I pray
that your mysteries I will once more uncover.
OMGOSH!!! Dark Muse! That is amazing. I am ashamed to even pick up my pencil now. You are truly amazing and skilled. I am still taken back by your poem. Well done Dark Muse, well done.
Thank you very much
Woowee!!!! Thanks for getting us off to a cracking start DM :D
Ut Nex
I feel Death stare at me with fiery eyes,
I should be, but I am not surprised—
That bony hand has long reached for me
Clasped in its fingers a bloody scythe…
What will I be when at long last I die,
Cast off my shell, this earthly disguise
Can someone out there please tell me?
There are no seers among the wise…
But pass I shall, no pathway goes otherwise,
Clasp hands with Father Death, say my goodbyes—
And who among you shall mourn me?
Or just say “Good riddance to that guy…
Pendragon
7/9/09