Pam

PAM fails to mention that PAM accompanies PAPAM on his homemade Congo drums dressed as the Captain from The Captain and Tennille.

Pam knows the words to Muskrat Love.

PAM sings the Muppet song all day ba da ma da, do doo do do do

Pam dresses like Fozzie Bear.

PAM was found guilty of jaywalking in Mississippi and plead guilty due to insanity. And won.

Pam careens mermaids and scrapes the barnacles off their bottoms.

Pam would vote for any politician who promised to lower Texas.

PAM once invaded Texas with a BB gun and was stopped by stepping in sticky bubblegum a little past to border.

Pam secretly yearns to put Tubby the Tuba at the top of his 25 Favorite Books list.

PAM wears a top hat and monacle and likes to be addressed as Mr. Monopoly.

Pam writes poetry in fingerpaint and gives it to everyone instead of Christmas presents.

Pam's ambition is to become a disgraced red top journalist who ekes a precarious living from celebrity bin-diving and blackmail notes composed from cut and pasted Sun headlines.

Pam wears lederhosen to job interviews.

Pam is the inventor, and sole user, of weaselpiss aftershave.

Pam milks cattle of either sex.