The relationship between Brian and George wasnīt clear to me before your explanation. I thought it was a boy with an animal toy or something.
This last story is much clearer. I only donīt understand why the protagonist is angry.
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The relationship between Brian and George wasnīt clear to me before your explanation. I thought it was a boy with an animal toy or something.
This last story is much clearer. I only donīt understand why the protagonist is angry.
Neither do I. He's caught in his mind somewhere. That's sort of how I am too when walking and distracted. I spent the afternoon in the botanic garden since the day was nice.
Here's a story for this week's Carrot Ranch prompt: fish tale. https://carrotranch.com/2018/04/26/a...ion-challenge/
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Fish Tale
He wondered if a mermaid was a fish or if hed catch anything today or if the soldiers would spot him.
Once he was robbed. They almost killed him with the beating. He didnt mind dying, but he had to bring fish home to Martha and Peter.
He was too delirious from the bombings and hiding to catch food. He slept till she woke him handing him more fish than hed ever expect to see. For Martha and Peter. And you.
As she turned to dive into the water he thought he heard her say, Im not a fish.
I liked this story best of all. It is very fluid. One understands everything and there is still enough space for working of the imagination of the reader. And you arenīt killing of all your protagonists any more to produce an final shock.Following these weekly prompts seems to be a good writing practice.
I am glad you liked this one, Danik. They are good writing practice since they are only 99 words. If I can think of something to say, I'm usually done with a first draft in a few minutes. This past week I was too busy with other things to write something for the Carrot Ranch prompt and I couldn't think of anything to say for the "line" theme. I will have to wait for the new prompt on Friday.
The new prompt, "property values", is in at Carrot Ranch for 99-word stories (not counting words in the title): . https://carrotranch.com/2018/05/17/m...ion-challenge/
Here's mine.
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Property Values
Tim’s intuition played tricks on him. What he thought would turn a profit didn’t. What he gave up on suddenly succeeded.
He didn’t want the Langford place, but Jennifer loved its enchanted forest. So they bought it. They also bought the Stevens property. Its value rose, as did their taxes, but this year they sold it for a loss.
Jennifer walked with him through the Langford woods. She pointed out, “We could build a home near the fairies if we keep it small.”
Tim felt his intuition smile at Jennifer’s innocence. They built that home and kept it small.
Cute and wise!
I am sorry I missed the crane prompt.
I missed the last two Carrot Ranch prompts. I could use the excuse that there was too much going on, but these stories don't take long to write. The problem is I couldn't think of anything to say. Days went by and then the desire to procrastinate grew stronger.
I'm glad you like this story, Danik!
You are right. Iīm procrastinating since I began to follow the blog.
The new prompt is "warrior women" at Carrot Ranch for 99-word stories. Here's mine:
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Wanda
Silvia walked into Benny’s Diner. Sharon told Benny to deal with her or she’d quit. Benny shuffled to the bar.
“Morning, Silvia.”
“I want a real waitress serving me.”
Benny glanced at Sharon. “She’s busy.”
“She’s just standing there.”
“How about some pancakes?”
“Are they gluten-free?”
“You know they’re not.”
Silvia ordered pancakes as usual. While she dripped corn syrup over margarine the dreaded alien invasion began. Silvia looked at Benny and Sharon. She ripped off her street clothes revealing her secret identity as Warrior Wanda. It was time to show these wretched Earthlings how high maintenance kicks butt.
The new prompt at Carrot Ranch for 99-word stories is "man glisten". It is apparently about putting glitter in a beard. https://carrotranch.com/2018/06/08/j...ion-challenge/
Anyway, this is my take on it.
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Man Glisten
Peter’s daughter laughed. She could see the glitter in his hair. Not much, but enough to sparkle.
“You still got it!” She said.
“You gave it to me,” Peter responded.
“You’re glis...glistening?”
“Yeah. I’m glad you let me glisten for a while.”
Peter really was glad. It was not easy for her to throw that glitter on him last week. She showed unexpected initiative. In case showering removed too much of it, he retouched his hair to make sure she would see some before he guided her wheelchair to the kitchen table for breakfast.
What a sparkling day!
Iīm not familiar with cyberfiction but the story has a good surprising ending Yes/No.Quote:
Originally Posted by YesNo
This story is very touching, specially because of the implicit father daughter relationship. Sometimes when you imply something I get confused.Here the implicit feelings add density to the story. Itīs one of my favorites.Quote:
Originally Posted by YesNo
I am glad you liked that, Danik. With only 99 words almost everything has to be left out, but I kind of like leaving things out.
The new prompt went up yesterday. It is "bouquet". https://carrotranch.com/2018/06/15/j...ion-challenge/
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Finally Blooming
That was the spring Alice turned the lawn into a big bouquet of flowers. It surprised Joe but looking at her face looking at the former lawn with a gentle smile she rarely showed him anymore made him grateful.
The neighborhood wives thought her odd for years. Her newfound gardening energy did not impress them. Alice’s view of them wasn’t pretty either.
That winter Alice died.
Joe kept her bouquet of former lawn going for the next decade as long as his life allowed. He received help especially towards the end and gifts of plants from the neighborhood wives.
I liked this one too. But something I feel about your figures is that the name doesnīt matter very much: Alice could be Mary or Ann or Lucy or whoever. The same with Joe. Have you ever tried describing a figure?That might individualize it more. But then I donīt know if you want to individualize them. And 99 words is limiting.
Your right about those names. I don't think about them much except to pick common, but different ones. The name should help to describe the figure and "Joe" suggests just about every male.
There's a new challenge at Carrot Ranch. I missed the last two because I couldn't think of anything to write. The theme is "buttons" and they have to be exactly 99 words excluding the title: https://carrotranch.com/2018/07/05/j...ion-challenge/
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Buttons
Ryan held the hand-carved applewood buttons. They each had four tiny holes like real buttons.
“Your Uncle Thomas made them for me.” Ryan returned the buttons to his great aunt. He couldn’t see why anyone would have made them.
“He made my wedding dress as well.” Ryan thought that was as odd as those buttons.
“We bought a cake and two rings. I had flowers for my hair.” He heard the story before.
“I forgave him.” Ryan listened. He hadn’t heard that part.
“For dying so young.” He had heard that part.
“I feel him visit me every day.”
Congrats, Yes/No. An small object as reminder of a love story. At each tale it seems you are more master of the 99 words form.
One interesting thing about requiring exactly 99 words (excluding title) is it forces one to focus.
There is a new challenge at Carrot Ranch with the prompt "broken fence". https://carrotranch.com/2018/07/12/j...ion-challenge/ I also noticed it is Friday the Thirteenth today. Here's my story.
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Broken Fence
The Fredericks bought Adkins Estate with farmhouse, barn and sheds. The farm maintained itself from land rentals to local farmers. There was also a notorious fence separating it from ancient Indian burial grounds.
That’s why they bought it. They planned to rent rooms to people wanting to spend the night in a haunted house.
They repaired the buildings but broke the fence to make it look spookier. They called their website “Visit Fredericks’ Freaky Ghost House”.
Many rented rooms and left five-star reviews until it became known that after changes to the fence, the ghosts no longer felt welcome.
I think these prompts are very helpfull for getting ideas on different topics. Another positiv thing; You manage now the surprising twist at the end of the nano story without killing all your characters!
I agree that it is good not to kill off the characters.
The new prompt arrived yesterday and is about someone who was lost and could not be found. They named the lake Fanny Hooe after her. Here is the prompt: https://carrotranch.com/2018/07/19/j...ion-challenge/
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Fannie Hooe
Fannie disappeared and they searched for her around the lake. Jake went missing as well, but he often went missing. He would pop up again later. No one cared.
Fannie was someone special. She smiled at you and made you glad you were alive.
They searched for days until her sister told her good neighbors to stop. She declared that Fannie was gone.
Fannie never returned except as mythic remembrance. It took them over two months to wonder why Jake hadnt turned up either. Fannies sister suspected why but she let her silence give them a chance to escape.
A nice story too. I really prefer to think of Fanny Hoe having gone away with Jack. It has already been published and this time Carrol Ranch got your name right.
I prefer seeing her having a happy life especially since the real events could have been more tragic.
I missed last week's story, but the new prompt Carrot Ranch came out recently. It is "yellow tent". https://carrotranch.com/2018/08/03/a...ion-challenge/
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Yellow Tent
Perhaps it was the sunshine yellow that attracted the bear or the food or curiosity. Bill had a camper over his Ford pickup truck, but he could not stand up in it and so he bought the tent.
He thinned naturally grown trees on clear-cut paper company land. This kept him alone in the woods for a week at a time or until the project finished.
He thought the tent was perfect until the bear came. It pushed its nose into the fabric deeply breathing. Bill swatted it and it ran off.
After that they left each other alone.
Fannie raped and killed Jack, then devoured the evidence like a good cannibal. I thought that was pretty obvious. And don't think her innocent kid sister didn't enjoy some of those steaks. I hear she likes 'em breaded.
Sounds tasty, desiresjab.
Another prompt this week. The theme is "comet". Restrictions: 99-words, no more, no less, excluding title. You don't need a blog to submit, just place the story in a comment. https://carrotranch.com/2018/08/16/a...ion-challenge/
Here's my story for this week:
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Comet
There are stars out, but that doesn’t mean anyone notices. However, the comet was special. People pointed it out proving how smart they were being able to see what others told them about.
Charles didn’t care. He looked at Anne’s eyes.
Sure, they were told about the comet, the rare comet that comes once in a million years. “You better look while you have the chance!” “You may never see something like that again!” “Don’t miss it!”
They looked, but they were not sure they saw anything particularly remarkable out there. They were more interested in each other’s eyes.
Nice story, Yes/No, but maybe there could be a special reason,why Charles and Anne werenīt interested in the comet, besides their being in love. It would enhance the story.
I agree, Danik, and I might have been able to squeeze that in even with 99 words.
At Carrot Ranch they are preparing what they call the "rodeo" which starts in October and has some preliminaries in September: https://carrotranch.com/2018/08/22/a...eady-to-rodeo/ I started posting there during their last rodeo, so it kind of marks my first anniversary of reading Carrot Ranch.
The prompt this week is "magic". Again, the story must be 99 words exactly (excluding title). https://carrotranch.com/2018/08/24/a...ion-challenge/
Here's the story I just posted.
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Magic
On a blue planet people believed in nothing that they couldn’t see. No ghosts. No gods. No angels.
There were natural laws. That magic was powerful. The more it worked, the more they believed. Those who doubted were educated until they believed or in extreme cases there were prisons. In really extreme cases there were nuclear options.
The people on the blue planet made a lot of money except for those who didn’t and so everyone who counted was happy.
Things went very well until the “fay-rees”, as they became known after The Event, had their fill of it.
Iīm a bit puzzled by the end of the story, Yes/No. What was The Event?
"The Event" was meant to be something ominous, but unspecified. I was thinking I should have used a different name, perhaps, "world war".
There's another prompt. This time it is "bottleneck": https://carrotranch.com/2018/08/31/a...ion-challenge/
Here's what I posted on that site:
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Bottleneck
Some say your real brains are in your gut. Bill knew his wasn’t in his brain. Sharon doubted he had any in his gut either.
That’s when she got pregnant and started worrying.
That’s when they had to move to a smaller apartment.
That’s when it looked like he would lose his job.
That’s also when he didn’t lose his job, but got an indirect promotion.
That’s also when they realized they loved that new apartment.
That’s when he held her and told her he was glad she was pregnant.
That’s when she changed her mind about his brains.
"The Event" sounds really unspecific, unless your reader already knows what you are talking about.
I like the form of "Bottleneck", first constructing bottlenecks and then deconstructing them.
This is Yes/Noīs new nano story. He has been unable to publish it directly, because of continuous technical problems.
"Epic Workplace
Eric was a loner. That’s why he liked people. They were rare like deer or bear in the distance. He took a break from thinning paper company land with brush saw holstered on his back and his head lost in his helmet.
He saw the hikers coming. One of them asked him if they were still on the Appalachian Trail. “Yes! Keep going. It’s right over there.” The trail wasn’t easy to see.
Eric wondered why people walked that trail, but he was glad to see them. He was glad he could give someone good directions on their way."
And I am glad posting worked this time. I tried to put the title in bold, but when I tried to edit the text it was not visible any more.
To Admin. and Mods:
I am afraid regular Litneters are disapearing beause of an unability to post their texts on the site. I hope someone does something about it.
Hi guys , I am so sorry I wandered off without giving you a prompt - nearly 2 years ago ! How can that be? Would love to get back into writing if these prompt sessions are still happening ?
My wife and I were walking up a beach in the late evening sunset when a man who appeared to be running for his life fell flat on his face into the sand near me. His shoe flew off his foot. He sprung to his feet and continued running, leaving his shoe behind. My wife said, "Hey mister, what about your shoe!" He scrame back, "I can't or I will be late for a LitNet writing contest!"
UaU! Nice revival of this thead! Welcome Secret III!
Good to see you again. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Danik 2016
Anyone wants good news? Forum capcha isnīt working any more.
And that's good, because?Quote:
Originally Posted by Danik 2016
Yet another duplicate post. I only posted once but the message board responded twice.
I was just being ironic, Secret.
Bababa
Do Not Go So Gently... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mRec3VbH3w
They left, one by one,
most bereft of tears...
Most indifferent, too
I am prone to be lachrymose -
enduring to the end;
my burden, my lot
After all that's been said and done
who will stay to turn off the lights
when all the others have gone
Who will reap the revenue of ad clicks...
click... click... click... click...
Shelob stalking in the dark
through web and ruin ?
A wasteland ? No, not so
A garden for capricious minds;
agile, fertile minds
who will forever roar as one
with Ozymandias:
"Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'"
8/31/2019
nano version:
They left, one by one
I am prone to be lachrymose -
enduring to the end;
after all, who turns off the lights
when all the others have gone ?
A wasteland ? No
A garden for capricious minds
who will roar
with Ozymandias:
"Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!'"
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor