Tip 72: Endeavour to communicate effectively with others
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Tip 72: Endeavour to communicate effectively with others
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Tip 73 (and the first rule of tending): Never leave a knife on the bar.
Good call. Also don't leave hard liquor bottles within reach, because people will grab them.Quote:
Originally Posted by krymsonkyng
Yep - still stone-dead.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexander III
Tip 74 Drink all the wines, but know that some are only meant to be sipped.
Tip 75: always remember that although words belong with words, they belong much more with facts.
Tip 76: Don't try DIY plumbing late on a Friday evening.
I did ....
Tip 77: Empty your boiler and turn off the water before you unscrew the top.
I didn't....twice
Tip 78: Don't do DIY at all, ever.
Put it off for as long as possible (years if you can) and then pay someone to do it, or get the family expert to do it for cups of tea and a beer.
If you get into the DIY habit you will never ever have peace in your house as there will always be jobs to do. You will never rest or find a quiet moment for the rest of your life. The more DIY you do; the more you will be expected do to, so don't do it in the first place!
Tip 79: Don't do DIY, at all, ever.
So important it has to be repeated twice!
This does not mean that you can get away without general household maintenance like cutting the grass or hoovering. I don't mean that. "DIY" in the context I mean, is like redecorating the bathroom or some such nonsense - trust me, it has got many more years in it yet. Woodchip is still all the fashion I'm sure.
Yes - but I get power tools for birthdays ... i do like power tools...
My dad really enjoyed the drill that my brother bought for him for his birthday (and cast aside the cookbook I bought him...)Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
However, if someone bought me a power tool for a birthday or Christmas I would be totally devastated. I would want to know why they didn't buy me a Lynx duel pack or some socks or golf mug instead (even though I haven't played golf for at least six years). I don't even own proper screwdrivers. My only hammer is a toffee one. I don't do DIY> if you haven't gathered...:biggrin5:
There is only one thing worse that work and that is work you don't get paid for - even work that costs you money!!
Come on people, reject DIY totally, forever.:nod: Embrance tips (rules) 78/79.
Neely is totally correct here!!!
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Neely
You bought him a cookbook?
Now I understand that we men don't get what we really want for Christmas from those who are not in the know - games consoles - games - masses of books - DVD Boxsets of things like band of brothers - family games that include electric shocks for the losers - shorts - tracksuits - bikes - etc etc
but you - a fellow man get him a cookbook????!!!
:biggrin5: - I jest of course...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neely
Ha!Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
I suffer from the dreaded DIY disease, but honestly I do feel a sense of pride once a project is complete. The key word being "complete".
Rarley does a DIY ever complete a project!
My tip:
80- If you're a DIY, don't take on too many projects at one time and complete the ones you decide to tackle!
Oh and here's a classic:
81- Don't eat the yellow snow
.
Double post...
A good friend of mine said, "DIY - Don't Involve Yourself."Quote:
Originally Posted by Neely
I live by that. I'm not interested, I'm untalented, and I feel that the money I earn being good at other things should be given to people who are good at that stuff.
Yeah, it does.Quote:
This does not mean that you can get away without general household maintenance like cutting the grass or hoovering.
DIY fashion can be pretty sharp, but since I'm talking to the anti-fashionistas I guess I'm not changing anyone's mind.
Tip 82: never take a seemingly good samaritan for a friend until they've proven that they really are, and even then, watch out for those with an easiness to switch sides. In other words, distrust your own shadow and always be prepared to engage in combat http://smiles.kolobok.us/user/commander_01.gif
Tip 83: Every once in a while, take your laptop or computer monitor and turn it so the screen faces away from you, and all you see are the connecting wires and blinking lights. Then go about your business.
Tip 84 Never buy DIY tools for someone as a gift
I have enough and only out of necessity. Buy me a Vacheron Constantin watch or maybe a Breguet or even a Patek Philippe. And throw in box of Monte Cristo cigars. Also....hold on..thinking...
Well in my defence it wasn't just any old cookbook, it was River Cottage Everyday by Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall! Great book.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
:nod: True. I just didn't want to appear too lazy; I don't want to give off the wrong impression of myself!Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkBastable
This one may make sense only to the english here but
Tip 85: Don't watch Peep Show before a night out...
You will spend the entire time awkwardly talking in your head like Mark
Tip 86; Always remember Alexander 111's dictum re LitNet:
And so do not think of this as a dark oak room full of super serious men in top hats and tail coats. Rather think of this forum as a nice golden farm, full of hillbillies playing songs and discussing Noam Chomsky
Tip 87: tuck tail.
Tip 88: Watch an episode of Northern Exposure every now and then. It'll re-charge your spiritual batteries.
I love that show!
Tip 89-Spring clean your house once a year. It's a pain in the b***, but well worth it. Your house will feel all shiny and new again.
I've just done mine at the request of my landlord - but I couldn't spring clean him away (or even shiny and new) - so I'm stuck with the same old-...
90 - Invest in a smart phone that you can play games on - it may only be asteroids, and only a game, but there's a distinct feeling of accomplishment when you reach THE HIGHEST SCORE IN THE WHOLE WORLD!
Tip 91: know and accept that the only people to be kept in your life are the people that keep you in theirs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by qimissung
I think this needs a slight adjustment before it's sufficiently honed to make it into the soon-to-be compiled LitNet Guide to Life. I've had a bit of a shot at editing it...
Tip 89-Spring clean your house once a year. It's a pain in the b***, but well worth it. Your house will feel all shiny and new again. Unless of course you invested a huge amount of time and money finding and buying a house that was neither shiny nor new, because shiny, new houses tend to be characterless and, more to the point, badly-designed, and anyway, although you don't mind a certain amount of non-obsessive cleanliness which is not at all the same thing as shininess and newness, you have a thing for Edwardian and Victorian domestic architecture, which, obviously, is anything but new and if it's shiny that'll only be because you've over-polished the original brass door-handles which somehow, thank God, survived the Sixties' and Seventies' fashion for wholesale desecration of turn-of-the-century houses, which was an attempt, broadly-speaking, to make them feel all shiny and new again.
It might need a light-touch line-edit, just to really sharpen up the pithiness, but I think my almost imperceptible modification adds something...
So if both parties were to take that advice, which party should start the keeping first?Quote:
Originally Posted by Maximilianus
"What's going on? You're not keeping me in your life!"
"Well, you're not keeping me in your life. I only keep in my life the people that keep me in theirs."
"Well, excuse me - but I only keep in my life the people who keep me in theirs."
"I think you'll find that I was only keeping in my life the people who keep me in theirs way before you were. So you have to keep me in your life before I'll even consider keeping you in mine."
"So - you saying you won't keep me in your life unless I keep you in my life first? I don't think so! You just better start keeping me in your life right now!"
..and so on.
:lol:
You're on form tonight Mark. You'll have to moderate those performance enhancing drugs...
It's actually much simpler if you put a little less mind to it. In other words, too much mind to it kills its simplicity.Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkBastable
Simple answer. There's often one party more interested than the other in... let's frame it simple for a change... friendship. The more interested party is always the party that starts the keeping first, and when they realize to be getting little or no feedback, this same party should be the first to start the unkeeping as well. It's like putting away an empty glass because there's nothing in it to be sipped. Looks simple to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkBastable
Those pesky landlords are hard to wash out, aren't they? They persist in being a blot upon our existence!Quote:
Originally Posted by MystyrMystyry
No, I think you got it about right, MarkBastable; I'd just eliminate the ninth word-after the dash-on the sixth line, maybe.Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkBastable
If I was to be fortunate enough to live in a Victorian house-my dream home-I would be floating in a cloud of new and shiny happiness-because it-since it's my dream-would be perfect. :D
92 (I think) - never watch the news.
(it makes me cross)
Good one, Fifth. Maybe if we all banned the news it would go away.
#92-Don't worry if the colors in your life don't match.
Doesn't it just. I keep watching though. It's not the news as such, but the terrible omission of everything except the most exceptional beyond our shores. What was it the BBC had on - Avon Ladies - on the morning news, and yet they hardly mentioned the big firefight in Kabul where 6 people were killed. (Of course they must have been Afghans to have merited so little coverage)Quote:
Originally Posted by TheFifthElement
Grrr - there. I'm all annoyed again. And that's only the start....
Anyway...
Tip 93: If you have to get changed in a public cubicle, (as I do from my cycling kit sometimes), wear shoes you can stand on....
... or buy new socks... after...
I'm with you on that. I find it hard to trust people whose outfits are colour-coordinated. An ex of mine was the kind of person who, if asked to take a Dalmatian for a walk, would dress in black and white.Quote:
Originally Posted by qimissung
#94 Eat McVities' milk chocolate homewheat buiscuits.
# 95: When drinking brandy, always make sure that it's Rémy Martin.
#96 Neither brandy nor McVities milk chocolate homewheat biscuits are very palatable, but it might be worth experimenting with the idea of dunking the latter in the former.
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkBastable