a little jot last night...

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

Don't be sorry at all. It's a very nice and creative piece, and I was only kidding when I mentioned the getting payback part :p I'm not that vengeful anyways :)

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That's good. I didn't take you for the vengeful type. So I'm glad. :D

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

Your fast creativeness reminds me of the fast creativeness of someone I haven't met in a long time. She's not often around anymore http://fc07.deviantart.net/fs17/f/20...y_Kermodog.gif

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Aw! :bawling: I feel so sad...just like your avatar. I hope you'll cheer up soon. :(

Piggy says hi!:piggy:

Take Care! ~Beau~

This other nice tiny creature says hi to piggy: http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs14/f/20...y_Kanuka76.gif

http://smiles.kolobok.us/artists/just_cuz/JC_cheesy.gif

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

This other nice tiny creature says hi to piggy: http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs14/f/20...y_Kanuka76.gif

http://smiles.kolobok.us/artists/just_cuz/JC_cheesy.gif

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Awww! Your little creature is sooooo cute!

He knows, that's why he smiles so often. He's quite into showing off :p

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

He knows, that's why he smiles so often. He's quite into showing off :p

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:lol: WHen I find an adorable creature like that, I'll show him off too! He looks so huggable!

hey!! those are very nice poems :D i like the rhymes~

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Originally Posted by ReynardKitsune

hey!! those are very nice poems :D i like the rhymes~

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Thank you so much! I'm sorry of the talking...I hadn't expected to chat so much. I hope you could read the poems without the chatting getting in the way!

But when you talk to friends, hey...who knows what conversations pop up! :D

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

:lol: WHen I find an adorable creature like that, I'll show him off too! He looks so huggable!

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:p :p

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

Thank you so much! I'm sorry of the talking...I hadn't expected to chat so much. I hope you could read the poems without the chatting getting in the way!

But when you talk to friends, hey...who knows what conversations pop up! :D

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That was my fault too! http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/dntknw.gif

:p http://smiles.kolobok.us/artists/just_cuz/JC_cheesy.gif

We will always be
You and me
Flying so freely
through time we'll be

Brief, yet right to the senses, like a hit between the eyes :p

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

Brief, yet right to the senses, like a hit between the eyes :p

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yes, it has a certain ring to it, doesn't it.
Here's some more freestyling.

Let's be free,
Where we'll finally see
Apart is best,
It won't make our love less

And yet I feel
empty and sealed
Nothing coming in or out
never finding out what love is about
but loving every moment
that you and me have been.

We could be friends you say
But that is not what I crave
So if nothing else,
I'll just listen to my own heart pulse...
missing the one I used to listen to
To me, it used to soothe.
but the pain is so intense
it makes no sense

because as much as I want you
I push away and lose
lose my heart, my soul and joy
lose my courage to convey....


How the heck am I supposed to end this one? I just kept on going!

The songs of the Maker
Are the most soothing of all.
They cure sorrows, heartaches,
and whatever!

And the beauty of it is
That they cost you nothing!

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Originally Posted by angliholic

The songs of the Maker
Are the most soothing of all.
They cure sorrows, heartaches,
and whatever!

And the beauty of it is
That they cost you nothing!

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I love it! It's very catching! :D

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

And yet I feel
empty and sealed
Nothing coming in or out
never finding out what love is about
but loving every moment
that you and me have been.

We could be friends you say
But that is not what I crave
[/I]

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I will extend the conversation to a possibility that may help you continue this poem, if that is what you want. Let's suppose that the story between the two actually took place for a while. People often care mostly about their own feelings and needs. As much as it may hurt, they pay little or no attention at the effects they cause on others. Just to illustrate it a little further, they first draw a picture where you are supposed to be the main character, then they pick an eraser, and start taking you out of the picture very gradually under the belief that you will not notice, and when you notice and ask what's going on, they end up sketching their reasons, but don't expect them to ask you for your opinion. They just won't. They begin it, make it last as long as they want, they end it. You don't have a pencil on their drawing. It's their canvas, their pencils, their strokes, their hands, their moods, their choices... their drawing, not the drawing of both.

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

How the heck am I supposed to end this one? I just kept on going!

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I hope my above comment, inspired by true events that you can find anywhere around any corner, may give you a few ideas.

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Originally Posted by angliholic

The songs of the Maker
Are the most soothing of all.
They cure sorrows, heartaches,
and whatever!

And the beauty of it is
That they cost you nothing!

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

I love it! It's very catching! :D

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It is catching indeed. Pity that many people can't find any healing in them, as costless as they may be. When it's not enough, it just won't be enough, although it's just a thought, with all due respect for those who actually feel their soothing effect.

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

I will extend the conversation to a possibility that may help you continue this poem, if that is what you want. Let's suppose that the story between the two actually took place for a while. People often care mostly about their own feelings and needs. As much as it may hurt, they pay little or no attention at the effects they cause on others. Just to illustrate it a little further, they first draw a picture where you are supposed to be the main character, then they pick an eraser, and start taking you out of the picture very gradually under the belief that you will not notice, and when you notice and ask what's going on, they end up sketching their reasons, but don't expect them to ask you for your opinion. They just won't. They begin it, make it last as long as they want, they end it. You don't have a pencil on their drawing. It's their canvas, their pencils, their strokes, their hands, their moods, their choices... their drawing, not the drawing of both.

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Very good explaniation Max, I understand completely what you're trying to say. The last two sentences really caught my attention. Thanks for giving me a full explaniation to work with.

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

I hope my above comment, inspired by true events that you can find anywhere around any corner, may give you a few ideas.

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It has given me some more to think about. I may finish that poem off with your help, Maxey! As always, you're a big help!:p Just let me...think for a bit. :)

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

It is catching indeed. Pity that many people can't find any healing in them, as costless as they may be. When it's not enough, it just won't be enough, although it's just a thought, with all due respect for those who actually feel their soothing effect.

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Yes. I understnad what you're trying to say. :nod:

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

Very good explaniation Max, I understand completely what you're trying to say. The last two sentences really caught my attention. Thanks for giving me a full explaniation to work with.

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At your service http://smiles.kolobok.us/personal/hi.gif

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

It has given me some more to think about. I may finish that poem off with your help, Maxey! As always, you're a big help!:p Just let me...think for a bit. :)

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Take your time :)

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

Yes. I understand what you're trying to say. :nod:

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Thanks http://smiles.kolobok.us/personal/hi.gif

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

so it isn't perfected yet,but i couldn't sleep last night until i wrote it down,it stuck to me...:p

Pitter Patter,Pitter Patter,
softly against my window,
while i lay my head to rest,
Pitter Patter.

Splish Splash,Splish Splash.
lightly against the patio side,
even while my pen descends to paper,
Splish Splash.

Drim Drum,Drim Drum,
loudly against my roof,
just as i cozy up on my couch,
Drim Drum.

Drip Drop, Drip Drop,
falling from the sky,
each drop,making a soft melody,
soothing my soul,
Drip drop.

Pitter Patter,
Splish Splash,
Drim Drum,
Drip Drop,
coming together,
to make a melody so sweet,
it soothes all the pain.

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This poem from so long ago seems to repeat itself once again. I feel so peaceful, and the rain is just my favorite lullaby. It may be simple, but it never fails to lull me to a peaceful sleep.

So I wrote ths a while back, and realized this is exactly the guy I'm looking for...
I want a guy who stays when I tell him to go away
I want a guy who still askes me what's wrong after I say it's nothing
I want a guy who say's "I love you" when I say "I hate you".
I want a guy who believes in romance.
I want a guy who wants to be my friend before he wants to be my boyfriend
I want a guy who'd rather be a gentleman than be cool
I want a guy who calls me beautifull while looking into my eyes instead of looking at my body
I want a guy who will stay on the phone when we still run out of things to say
I want a guy who will be jealous if I even talk to another guy
I want a guy who respects me for my character instead of how I look.
I want a guy who makes me laugh
I want a guy who if I married him, would wake me with a kiss in the morning, and hug me close every night.
But most of all, I want a guy who says I love you every chance he can get, and really mean it.

Wonderful specifications. Now, if you believe in this sort of thing, you have published it to the universe which, hopefully, will soon respond.

lol. Yessss. very true...Hear that world? :p :D

Oh, Beautiful, if only I weren't spoken for............. (and 40 years older!!!!!) It's really not too much to ask, either. You'll find it!!!

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Originally Posted by dafydd manton

Oh, Beautiful, if only I weren't spoken for............. (and 40 years older!!!!!) It's really not too much to ask, either. You'll find it!!!

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:lol: I know. But did you know that for some men, that is too much for them? It drives me crazy, but I appreciate ya! :D

I really hope you really find such a really perfect match :p and by no means would I like to discourage you, but maybe it would be more realistic to content yourself with just a few, or even one of such characteristics you aim at :p because meeting all of such high standards in just one person is rather... difficult these days http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/sc...one-s_head.gif IMHO, regardless of gender, people of today are not really concerned with the essence of their interactions with a potential darling. What you're describing is an over-humane person, like a flawless super-hubby, and in terms of so much humanity, I've seen most people lagging behind.

Of course there's always the chance that I haven't seen enough, should we give a touch of optimism to my previous words :angel:

However, I wish you the best of lucks in such a tremendous quest... you will certainly need it :p

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

I really hope you really find such a really perfect match :p and by no means would I like to discourage you, but maybe it would be more realistic to content yourself with just a few, or even one of such characteristics you aim at :p because meeting all of such high standards in just one person is rather... difficult these days http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/sc...one-s_head.gif IMHO, regardless of gender, people of today are not really concerned with the essence of their interactions with a potential darling. What you're describing is an over-humane person, like a flawless super-hubby, and in terms of so much humanity, I've seen most people lagging behind.

Of course there's always the chance that I haven't seen enough, should we give a touch of optimism to my previous words :angel:

However, I wish you the best of lucks in such a tremendous quest... you will certainly need it :p

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yesss. It will be hard, but super hubby doesn't exist. Now, I know the perfect man for me does. These characteristics I named off aren't impossible. Quite the opposite. I wonder if this list made you reflect on yourself?

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

I wonder if this list made you reflect on yourself?

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It made me reflect about 2 aspects:

1. Mistakes I've made
2. Mistakes people make

By the way, I would very much appreciate the possibility of approaching a lady with the aforementioned qualities too :)

How about that road trip? http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/sc...one-s_head.gif

Awesome road trip. I got to see dolphins in the ocean!!!!

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I want a guy who stays when I tell him to go away
I want a guy who still askes me what's wrong after I say it's nothing
I want a guy who say's "I love you" when I say "I hate you".
I want a guy who believes in romance.
I want a guy who wants to be my friend before he wants to be my boyfriend
I want a guy who'd rather be a gentleman than be cool
I want a guy who calls me beautifull while looking into my eyes instead of looking at my body
I want a guy who will stay on the phone when we still run out of things to say
I want a guy who will be jealous if I even talk to another guy
I want a guy who respects me for my character instead of how I look.
I want a guy who makes me laugh
I want a guy who if I married him, would wake me with a kiss in the morning, and hug me close every night.
But most of all, I want a guy who says I love you every chance he can get, and really mean it.

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beautiful Beautiful.

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Originally Posted by breathtest

beautiful Beautiful.

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You think so?

I really do

Its a nice way to express how you want to be loved.
You should write that on a piece of paper and give it to every man you meet and then tell him to go away if he cant meet the criteria :smile5:

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

Awesome road trip. I got to see dolphins in the ocean!!!!

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Maybe a jot about the dolphins could be appropriate ;)

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Originally Posted by breathtest

I really do

Its a nice way to express how you want to be loved.
You should write that on a piece of paper and give it to every man you meet and then tell him to go away if he cant meet the criteria :smile5:

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Excellent idea, like a list of prerequisites to apply for the job as Beautifull's hubby :p

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Originally Posted by breathtest

I really do

Its a nice way to express how you want to be loved.
You should write that on a piece of paper and give it to every man you meet and then tell him to go away if he cant meet the criteria :smile5:

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Great idea!...but I wonder if that will scare them off...:lol:

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

Maybe a jot about the dolphins could be appropriate ;)

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Water, like the cold wind on a winter's day,
when the sun sets is when they play,
in and out the dive again,
showing off their dorsel fins
calling to the birds above,
greeting those surfer fans they love
with our admiration, their hearts do we win,
they love to hear, "Look mommy, a dolphin!"

You like?

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

Excellent idea, like a list of prerequisites to apply for the job as Beautifull's hubby :p

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hehe :blush:...well, I wouldn't really say it's a job. That sounds like an obligation....wouldn't it be an honor to be by my side?(I'd like to think...)
But yes....you could say that Max.

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

Great idea!...but I wonder if that will scare them off...:lol:

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These days, people often get scared before even being scared :frown2: Here's what you have to do: wield the list before his very nose. If he's not able to comply with it, then he's not the right darling, and you should do something like http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/beee.gif should he ever insist :D

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

Water, like the cold wind on a winter's day,
when the sun sets is when they play,
in and out the dive again,
showing off their dorsel fins
calling to the birds above,
greeting those surfer fans they love
with our admiration, their hearts do we win,
they love to hear, "Look mommy, a dolphin!"

You like?

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In my opinion, I would call it a brilliant oceanic pastoral http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/drinks.gif

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

hehe :blush:...well, I wouldn't really say it's a job. That sounds like an obligation....wouldn't it be an honor to be by my side?(I'd like to think...)
But yes....you could say that Max.

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I was kidding :p Of course it would be an honor http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/yes3.gif

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

These days, people often get scared before even being scared :frown2: Here's what you have to do: wield the list before his very nose. If he's not able to comply with it, then he's not the right darling, and you should do something like http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/beee.gif should he ever insist :D

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:lol: You're absolutely right. I shall do that. :lol:

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

In my opinion, I would call it a brilliant oceanic pastoral http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/drinks.gif

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Aw, thanks!

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

I was kidding :p Of course it would be an honor http://smiles.kolobok.us/standart/yes3.gif

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Of course. Who do you think I am? Beautifull, of course. :lol:

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

Aw, thanks!

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http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs51/f/20...by_Mirz123.gif

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Originally Posted by Beautifull

Of course. Who do you think I am? Beautifull, of course. :lol:

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:patriot:

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs51/f/20...by_Mirz123.gif

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Heehee. cute welcome!

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

:patriot:

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That's right, salute me! haha! Just Kidding. :D

There's a loneliness in her eyes,
She can't seem to erase
She looking to the skies,
With no answer

(it's a work in progress...)

Looks promising :)

Clipped Wings

Spiraling, spiraling down
screaming and yelling without a sound
hard to lift up what's pushed down
not a hint of confidence, not a ounce or pound

my wings are clipped
and I'm falling to the lowest pit.
I see my demise
filled with hopelessness and cries

how am I supposed to find a new road,
when buried benaeth this heavy load
Clipped wings won't help me fly above
and see what's needed to be done,

so I spiral out of control,
not able to protect my soul.

my demise is near.

I like the theme of this poem. The downward spiral, the inability to soar above one's own destiny with death inevitable.

There is a slight overuse of same words which do not add to its value. Spiral, clipped and demise. Perhaps you could give the reader a deeper imagery rather than in the context in which they are repeated.

The theme and how you develop it are both sharp :nod: and Delta's opinion sounds noteworthy :nod: