Can boys and girls be friends?

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Yes , it is an act , when you are so closer friends , Isn't it lead to a dangerous problems?

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Would you please like to give me an example of those dangerous problems?

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Good , so you agree with me?

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Not necessarily, I meant it's good if you would never be afraid of an action of a female friend. But still I can't see what would in a male friend get you on the edge of fear. And if it's related to some society b******t, then whatever the society considers to be okay does not have to be really fine.

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Really!!! The World's problem?
No It is the two friend's problem.

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Once again I would repeat that everything condemned by a certain society doesn't have to be wrong. If the society is forcing you to drink alcohol, and you know as a Muslim it's forbidden in Islam, would you just devour it because society thinks you have to do it? Even if you are forced to have it, would you start thinking that society made you do the right thing? I don't think so...

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What ? a little trust , so you want to say that there is a man in the world or a woman agree happily to see his\her wife\husband with a male\female friend , telling him her secrets sharing with him her life , made him a member of that family ?
Oh , no I don't think that It is true.

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I have seen husbands getting more unhappy with their wives' friends (yes, friends who are women) too. And by the way who said friendship means making someone the member of family or sharing 'each and everything' with her/him?

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the second "good"
I don't know you agree or disagree .

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I meant to say it's good if your parents wouldn't be scared of the female friends you make....though probably it's not too good. Often the stories of little girls befriending some older ones who turn out to be child-mollesters come in newspapers...

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I think that I don't understand that word "lezbian" , also , I don't know why you said that you scared me .

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Good. Now you wouldn't get scared. :p

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That is my opinion , and I'm not trying to persuade any one to agree or disagree with me , it is your own decision ,
Thanks for using my favourite color , :)

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I know. I am not making any judgements here on whether male and females can be friends (though it can be an interesting discussion too) but I just didn't agree with your points. I might be in agreement with your actual idea (but there is 'might') but I don't support the points you give for it.

Oh and you are welcome. :)

I think the hardest thing about these types of conversations is the fact that people generalise too much, like "guys are good for laughs and girls are good for meaningful conversation". I honestly think it all depends on the individual.
And the other thing is that people have different thoughts on friendship, so some people might count anybody they've known for years but don't have deep and meaningful conversations with as best friends whereas others count the people that are the closest to them as their best friends, so these different values would most likely affect peoples thoughts on the matter.

But as for me, I think I have an almost even amount of male and female friends, and some males I have better conversations with than some of the females, and some of the females I have better conversations with than some of the males. It really just depends on the individuals.

My life-long pattern of friendships has always been a great balance of female and male friends, experiencing varying degrees of intimacy and trust with both genders. I usually have 3-4 best girlfriends, who i spend a lot of time with, one or two of which I consider my 'best friends' and deeply trust. I have always had a male as my "very best friend", one extremely close guy friend and a few other good ones.
Besides that, it's usually very easy for me to make an abundance casual friends, but I have a lot of trouble really connecting with people. For this reason, I often find myself feeling rather lonely,which most don't suspect because I 'technically' do have a lot of "friends".

Okay, so i've mostly only had male friends. I never understood the world of intrigue of the females in my age group. I didn't understand the social code for who was friends with who that day. The girls were just manipulative and cunning. If you disagreed with them, they would wind everyone up against you, etc.
Boys on the other hand... disagree with them and we sort it out with a wrestling match on the balancing beam. Winner takes all, end of story, everyone is friends afterwards.
Incidentally i was the only girl who was allowed to join them playing tag or anyhitng since i was the only girl who didn't cry when i got hurt. :)

Even today, my closest friends are males, or as someone else put it, bi/gay females. :)

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Originally Posted by Antiquarian

Some girls, and women, can be very cunning and manipulative. I don't see that in males, that's for sure.

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Wow I know some equally cunning and manipulative males! They are more manipulative than cunning though, but most certainly they're as bad as how most females are percieved to be. The only thing with the guys I know is that they're a lot more obvious about why they're being cunning and manipulative than the females are.

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Originally Posted by Pensive

Would you please like to give me an example of those dangerous problems?

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First of all i've to tell you that me and you represent a different cultures.
and my concept of friendship is also different from your one .
Friendship means for me brotherhood , as there is a chance to choose my sister myself, it doesn't mean that i don't love my sister but i have to choose one or more will help me during my life , if they found any mistakes they will tell me the right because they love me.
so my friends mean a lot for me. I observe that the most posts here talking as if friendship is a sort of amusing. and they think that male friends are amusing more than females. I think that it is a sort of insult to the meaning of friendship.

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Once again I would repeat that everything condemned by a certain society doesn't have to be wrong. If the society is forcing you to drink alcohol, and you know as a Muslim it's forbidden in Islam, would you just devour it because society thinks you have to do it? Even if you are forced to have it, would you start thinking that society made you do the right thing? I don't think so...

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Your example is very nice one, but believe me that it is the right way.
also you have this thing acceptable in your society but it doesn't mean that everything in your society must be "" right traditions "" also in my society there are some tradition and habits are wrong and i refuse them , but they are acceptable and wrong alike.
Finally i'm glad for that discussion with you :)

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Originally Posted by mercy_mankind

First of all i've to tell you that me and you represent a different cultures.
and my concept of friendship is also different from your one .
Friendship means for me brotherhood , as there is a chance to choose my sister myself, it doesn't mean that i don't love my sister but i have to choose one or more will help me during my life , if they found any mistakes they will tell me the right because they love me.
so my friends mean a lot for me. I observe that the most posts here talking as if friendship is a sort of amusing. and they think that male friends are amusing more than females. I think that it is a sort of insult to the meaning of friendship.

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Okay, even if friendship means getting your friend know all your secrets, what do you think is wrong with sharing a secret with a male friend?

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Your example is very nice one, but believe me that it is the right way.

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Thank you, but I still don't get your points on how it's the right way...

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also you have this thing acceptable in your society but it doesn't mean that everything in your society must be "" right traditions "" also in my society there are some tradition and habits are wrong and i refuse them , but they are acceptable and wrong alike.
Finally i'm glad for that discussion with you :)

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Never did I say anything acceptable in my society has to be acceptable in my eyes. Did I? :)

Whew . . . I remember this thread. It's hard, you know . . . I said that I didn't mind my boyfriend's female friends who he'd known for a long time. That's still true. But now he's actually becoming new friends with a girl, yikes! ;)

It's actually the first time since we have been together that either of us had made a new friend of the opposite sex (we both have old friends of the opposite sex). It definitely takes some getting used to. Especially because we are long-distance right now. But it's not like we could assume that neither of us would ever have a new friend of the opposite sex, that's just unreasonable.

It's weird too . . .I expressed to him that I felt upset/worried about his new friend that's a girl. I know it was unreasonable, but I still had to show how I felt. Meanwhile, I'm quasi-friends with one of my male roommates and my boyfriend doesn't process it. It's some sort of willing unacknowledgement. I'll be like "I'm getting dinner with [roommate] tonight" and then hours later my boyfriend will be like "what did you do for dinner?" And usually we know everything the other person is doing because we are long-distance and we always say what we're doing. When I'm hanging out with my roommate or mention him is the only time that my boyfriend doesn't process what my plans are.

So, yeah, we both need to work on what it's like when the other person has a friend of the opposite sex.

I kinda wish I could do the willing unacknowledgement thing. It seems easier than feeling jealous.

Surprisingly I don't actually have many male friends that I hang out with regularly. Me and my gravitation towards males.

Wait...I don't have any. Yeah, I have aquaintances, but not actual friends.

I guess it's because I don't have many friends at all in the first place. Real friends.

I love guys but not guys my age? I guess?

It's funny, I'm surrounded by boys in my geometry class because that's how the seating chart turned out, and before I was next to a couple girls and the guys are far more interesting to sit next to. They actually talk about things other than who's going out with who. They do talk about sports a lot, however, which completely bores me and sometimes they'll talk about "this hot chick" they saw or the young English teacher all the boys like at our school, but I think that's just funny. :D So it kind of is a way for me to examine them. :lol:

:lol: People are such lab rats.

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Originally Posted by Lily Adams

It's funny, I'm surrounded by boys in my geometry class because that's how the seating chart turned out, and before I was next to a couple girls and the guys are far more interesting to sit next to. They actually talk about things other than who's going out with who. They do talk about sports a lot, however, which completely bores me and sometimes they'll talk about "this hot chick" they saw or the young English teacher all the boys like at our school, but I think that's just funny. :D So it kind of is a way for me to examine them. :lol:

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Boys will be boys. :lol: I can personally attest to that. ;)

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Originally Posted by Jamesian

I was one of those guys. Actually, I might have been the only one who really liked her...

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Awww.

well well well, about 3 years ago i almost didn't have any female friends; i had only one and all the others were male which was awsome, i felt they could understand me better and could do a lot of fun stuff with them, but it all went wrong suddenly: because some of them fell in love with me and the others just left to study or work, and that is why i no longer believe in friendship between the two sexes!

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Originally Posted by sprinks

I think the hardest thing about these types of conversations is the fact that people generalise too much, like "guys are good for laughs and girls are good for meaningful conversation". I honestly think it all depends on the individual.
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i totally agree with you. some of my male friends were much more understanding and thoughtful then my female friends

Hello! i study in taiwan. I’m female. My personalities are lively, open and bright. I’m don’t bully the person in the verbal and I don’t threat people, ha ha ha !!!

When I was in the primary school, same with you that some of my classmates are what you are talking about, and I don’t want to make friends with them, so I do my own thing by myself, I don’t even talk with them. Therefore, I agree with your opinions.

After I entered high school, I found out that not every one have the same personalities; I discovered males are not really all tough and strong, for example, one or two of my male friends are sensitive men. I like to talk with them, talk about my secrets and when I feel upset, they will comfort me in the soft way. Instead my some female friends are not sensitive and soft, they talk to me in a rough way.

These differences doesn’t let me feel uncomfortable, instead I love to make friends in different gender. Because I think that every one has the different personalities, so I make friends with my patience and true heart. Then I make a lot of male/female friends!!!!

I have been wondering about this subject for a while.

Is it possible that a unsexual relationship between a girl and a guy can exist??

Is it possible that they remain ONLY friends forever?

Different opinions, different points of view from different poeple around the

world from different ethics and religions..what I seek here to highlight the

subject...Welcome both Girls and Guys:)

a great question. i've had many an ex-girlfriend who says some guy is "just a friend." Biz-markie's song "just a friend" can tell you better than i. but i'd say yes, a friendship can exist--as long as at least 1 of the 2 isnt physically attracted to the other

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Originally Posted by billyjack

a great question. i've had many an ex-girlfriend who says some guy is "just a friend." Biz-markie's song "just a friend" can tell you better than i. but i'd say yes, a friendship can exist--as long as at least 1 of the 2 isnt physically attracted to the other

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Thanks for sharing us your opinion..


But again..if there is 1 of the 2 is physically attracted to the other...the Friendship is no more friendship...here LOVE & SEXUAL DESIRE will be the dominant part of the relation..


This leads to the round Q..is it possible to be friends with guys??

can there be "love" between guys and girls who don't feel attracted?
there's this guy I know and I tell anyone who cares to know (and lots of people who don't) that "love" him, but I don't fancy him. Ok, I admit I feel attracted to him for half a second two times a year, but that's the long and short of it.
I can get extremely nasty when people diss me about him and assume I fancy him and have "dumped" a close friend because she dissed me about him. So I guess that means I care a lot about him.

so, does "love" between ppl of the opposite sexes necessarily have to be sexual? can there be so-called"platonic" love?

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Originally Posted by SleepyWitch

hope this hasn't been done before:
can boys and girls/ women and men be friends, esp. when one of them is single? or will one of them start to romance the other sooner or later?

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Oh, god! Please, yes! Of course!

I hope! :D

:lol:


librarius
:crash:

I have many female friends, however I am also married, and I cannot speculate about what might happen if I were single????

Run the numbers - I don't think anyone could have a meaningful relationship with every woman they may socialize with...

This leads me to believe that yes - it is possible for Women and Men to share friendship, without the "relationship" factoring into it.

This does not include sexual attraction tho'. Thoughts are just thoughts, and mentally undressing a "friend" of the opposite sex, should remain where it belongs - in your head!

I had two girlfriends. Only the first one was a friend BEFORE a girlfriend. The second girlfriend was (one of) the worst mistake in my life!, can't figure out up to this day what the blast was that! (I loved her best friend, by then ... But, in a way, I was better friend to her ...)

Yes, a man can be friend of a girl without going into something more. I'm single, and have at least two friends about my age, to whom, if I wasn't sure about them being only friends, and of me not willing anything more than friendship with them, I'd get trapped into feelings.

I put the barrier. Women get ... sticky, sometimes. You have to say "Hey!: only friends, here! Count on me, but ...~"

My first girlfriend was a friend before we getting involved. It was nice, and however it didn't work out, I prefer this way, and time passed on, healed injuries, and we're now (only) good friends again. But I have to put the barrier, to myself as well: "Hey!: only friends!" Don't wanna fall into the same trap :D no, not again!

At the moment, I'm ... in a possible beginning with another friend. Hope is true, and all I can do is to hope, but ... If it goes, it'll do fine. I hope it goes! :nod:

Lets see ...

But, my answer is yes, a boy and a girl, a man and a woman CAN be just friends.

Thats what I think!

:thumbs_up

A friend of mine took a human sexuality course last year where she was taught that our personalities tend to have us either as

a) people who have good friends that turn into relationships, or
b) people who could never form a relationship with an established friend

She was taught that there are very specific parameters within which one develops a (more than friendly) relationship, based on the individual's personality (here I use "personality: loosely- there were specifics I don't remember). From experience with myself and my friends, this is pretty true, which leads to my firm belief that one can have a friend of the opposite sex without the friendship leading to intimacy.

Im 17, recently finished high school, and i attain many relationships with girls from my school. Just normal friendly relationships, i am not attracted to any of them, however beautiful they may be. What im attracted to is a down to earth personality that young girls tend to dismiss this day and age.

I think it is possible for the two sexes to be friends, its just that in most cases either the male or female will fall for the other. I have had this happen in many cases and needed to have some long talks to my female friends >_<, one which i have known since birth!

From my experience, i find that men fall in love more easily than women. My personality dictates to others that i dont care about aesthetics and that human relationships are not a sole source of happiness, i have more of an 'older brother' kind of love towards most of my female friends, where i try to help them and act as a responsible but fun guy.

why is "something more" called "something more"?

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Originally Posted by SleepyWitch

why is "something more" called "something more"?

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COmpletly off topic but sleepy now I have the beauty and the beast song there is somthing there that wasnt there befefore stuck in my mind, dont know how or why that sentance triggered it buit now Im going to be haunted by Beauty and the beast all day thanks ! :rolleyes:

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Originally Posted by Nightshade

COmpletly off topic but sleepy now I have the beauty and the beast song there is somthing there that wasnt there befefore stuck in my mind, dont know how or why that sentance triggered it buit now Im going to be haunted by Beauty and the beast all day thanks ! :rolleyes:

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yep, that was completely off topic. But thanks for telling us ................................ :D

so what do you as a staunch anti-romance campaigner think about this, is "something more" necessarily "more" (=better) or is it just different (in some cases)?

What a silly question.. Of course boys and girls can be friends.. I have quite a few friends that are girls, in fact most of my close friends are of the opposite sex, I only have a couple good male friends.. I find girls are generally easier to talk to and discuss things with, and to be an artsy kind of guy around.. I only have a couple male friends who are into the arts.. Guys are great for going rock climbing and surfing and snowboarding with, so there I find the inverse is true, only a few of my girlfriends are into that kind of stuff.. I know this is somewhat of a generalization, but for the people I know and associate with, I find it to be the case.. but I have no trouble with being good friends with females... without the desire for anything more ever... Now I can't say whether they feel the same way, but I would think that is the case as I have only ever had a couple problems with that issue of friendship becoming a problem because someone wants more..

I think people just convince themselves that they cannot be friends with the opposite sex... and I am not sure why..

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Originally Posted by SleepyWitch

yep, that was completely off topic. But thanks for telling us ................................ :D

so what do you as a staunch anti-romance campaigner think about this, is "something more" necessarily "more" (=better) or is it just different (in some cases)?

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IM suprised you rember most people forget :D , Well its an intresting one and Im sure I posted a nice long quote on the topic once before. Having spent some time thinking about this topic over few months my conclusions are as follows-
1) I still stick by the idea that "love" is a construct people make to find a nice and tidy explantion for a whole mesh of things ranging from basic attraction trust freindship loyalty commitment and all that blah.
2) The idea is the main problem it is so easy to talk yourself into things and maybe the idea of 'more' with someone you already trust is attractive as a concept even if when it comes down to it you arent attracted to the person to begin with, just the idea.
But the personal truth is this Im not really the one to ask, never having had a 'relationship' or even wanted one really- but the other side of the equation is the fact that I first started looking at boys as potetial husband material before my 4th Birthday ( I know the date because of an incedet at my 4th birthday party) and so I guess it somthing that is always in my mind I have a few friends who are boys- and general aquienteces I tend to get on better with males than females generally speaking - but thinking about it none of my freinds fit the boxes of who I want to be married to so no problem I can be friends very easily, ( well barring one glaring exception but hey after 13 years its easy to put aside somthing you know is never going to happen and just get on with being friends :D). Mostly them I 'adopt' though and I have been told that my tendecy to 'mother' and class them with my younger sisters ( even in cases when they are 5 years older than me) can be rather annoying- but I cant help it I have a tendency to fuss over anyone who will let.

Like I said dont know about the more thing except to say that we often build things up to look much more attractive in our minds so somthing differnt almost always seems like it might be somthing better, even when it may turn out to be the exact opposite.
:D

Edit Did some more thinking and I reliased my defention of 'friend' and most other peoples are very different, maybe it comes from moving around so much but most of my interpersonal relationships are temporary things I tend to move on and not look back too often, but when i have a friend a real friend they are stuck with me forever Im afraid. There isnt very much I wouldnt do for the realtivly small number of people I count as friend friends ( tragically I can only think of 6 that arent actually related to me, and most of them are litnetters :eek2: ) So maybe you should just discount this whole long ramble. :D

I admit, I didn't read all the posts, but I did scan through a couple...
Here's my opinion:
Guys and girls can be friends. Of course, if you have a "family-type" bond then the thought of getting lovey-dovey with that person is crazy. My current boyfriend and I have actually been forbidden to go out (sorry mom) and we really tried to keep it at "just friends" for that reason, but our bond is so strong that we just can't (we're kind of under cover now). Sometimes it can't be helped, but that doesn't mean that you should stick to friends of the same sex. I personally find it much easier to socialize with boys, perhaps because I'm a little bit of a tom-boy. Most of my friends are guys and I have never had those kinds of feelings for them. Guy friends are great... And if a guy friend of yours tries anything funny you can just smack him on the head and he'll probably still be your friend tomorrow. They tend not to have the Oh-now-I'm-so-broken reaction that girls have :)

I only speak from my own experience and I believe that yes, they can be friends. Two of my best friends are boys, and sometimes they prove themselves to be much more sincere than girls.

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Originally Posted by amalia1985

I only speak from my own experience and I believe that yes, they can be friends. Two of my best friends are boys, and sometimes they prove themselves to be much more sincere than girls.

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Oh, come on! Girls are sincere in a ... girlish way! that mutable, inconstant and rainy way.

Men are what they are. Girls are one thing on a day, and a complete different being in the following day ... Unless you pull the "yesterday girl" back to real life ... haha!

[Whenever possible!]


librarius
:crash:

To me ..I think it is hard to be a friend with a friend of the opposite sex without ..one of the 2 attract to the other

Duh!
Of course boys and girls can be friends. The boy just has to be gay and the girl a lesbian.

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Originally Posted by taliesin

duh!
Of course boys and girls can be friends. The boy just has to be gay and the girl a lesbian.

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heheheheheheheh


Exactly:)

so romantic novel and taliesin, are you both saying that you've never had a platonic friendship with a person on the opposite sex?

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Originally Posted by *Classic*Charm*

so romantic novel and taliesin, are you both saying that you've never had a platonic friendship with a person on the opposite sex?

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that's what it sounds like.. Unless they fit into one of the categories mentioned above :p hahah

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Originally Posted by amalia1985

Two of my best friends are boys, and sometimes they prove themselves to be much more sincere than girls.

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I have found this to be true in many cases of people that I have been friends with. I have had a lot of guy friends. I just tend to get along better with guys.

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Originally Posted by Taliesin

Duh!
Of course boys and girls can be friends. The boy just has to be gay and the girl a lesbian.

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well, it's always good to hear a different opinion! :eek:

:D ... :lol:


a klicky
:crash: