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As the little train rumbled ever closer to the vortex known as Kansas, things were getting exponentially stranger. It was as though time were a piece of wax, falling on a termite, who’s choking on the splinters. Kirk smirked when he noticed Admiral Decker was wearing beefcake pantyhose, and Ismael’s voice came over the P.A. saying, “I’m a driver, I’m a winner. Things are gonna change. I can just feel it.” Ripper was contemplating what to do with a guitar string and Scotty looked at Ismael and said, “Careful, laddie, don’t believe everything that you breathe. You’ll get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve.” So he killed the headlights and put in neutral. The Count needed butane in his veins and Ahab shaved his face with some mace in the dark. The hippies were getting crazy with the Cheeze Whiz while Watson and Holmes were watching rerun shows and the daytime crap. Iron Mike stuck his head in the room and said, “You know what I’m sayin’?”
Q, proving himself to be a fickle Q, laughed maniacally and reached with two fingers for the lever on the Cosmic Commode, and then…
http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/a...psb2c0c49e.jpg
Bilbo Baggins smacked the side of the set and said, “Goddammit! Aerial’s out again.”
*My sincerest apologies to Beck. http://youtu.be/6DnD9RBdkfE
**Sorry about punting it back to you, Pen, I needed to get to work, and I wasn’t quite sure where to go next anyway.
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Q yawned and turned away, bored with what he considered playing with his toys. He snapped his fingers and the connection between the Enterprise and the City of New Orleans ceased to be. The train also vanished. But out on the plains of Texas a motley group of beings found themselves stranded out of place and time.They soon realized that there was no hope of returning to their various timelines.
Captain Kirk with his usual aplomb for taking action, spoke up. "I guess we'll have to make the best of it, somehow."
"How screwed are we?" Asked Admiral Decker
"Pretty screwed." Spock said. "A snowball's chance in hell that we ever return to our old lives."
And thus the Fellowship of the Train broke up, going their separate ways.
Kirk and admiral Decker ended up traveling the world as members of the Peace Corps, although they often argued about who was in charge. Spock had his ears surgically altered and became Professor of higher mathematics and logic at Texas A&M. Jack the Ripper ended up dying by lethal injection in the Huntsville TX death row. Ahab wandered West and ended in an old sailors home in Monterey, California. Dracula and friends set up a haunted theme park in Coffeyville, which drew a million customers a year, although some were mysteriously found dead, either drained of blood, strangled, or ripped into pieces. The Eleven, as they now called themselves, managed to buy the Waco, TX land once occupied by the Branch Davidians and set up a commune dedicated to peace, love, non-violence and "leaf" appreciation, having drafted Bilbo as their "herb master." Sherlock Holmes set up a Private Investigator's office in Austin. Doc Watson ended up in Nashville cutting CD's and rapidlly becoming a National sensation. Dorothy and Toto were whisked off to Oz, their adventures recorded by an aging Frank Baum, and eventually she was joined by Uncle Henry and Aunt Em. The Shadow returned to New York, and worked as an highly effective vigilante, much to the dismay of the NYPD. Ismael was now a Subway Train Engineer in Dallas. Quanh Parker returned to his tribe, taking Iron Mike Tyson with him as a blood brother. Moby Dick's skeleton is a tourist attraction at Abernathy, TX. The Coffeyville Zombie Incident made headlines around the world as the three undead Dalton Brothers, Bob, Grat, and Emmett were pursued by authorities. Later the three undead brother became part of Dracula's Creatures of the Night theme park. And a short man with a large head, strangely dressed in a large top hat with a label that read "In this style 10/6" was locked in the looney bin after stealing tea and eating china teacups in a major department store. Meanwhile, in the far future, Captain Montgomery Scott of the USS Enterprise spent days unsuccessfully trying to build a time machine. The days passed, and each person always dreamed of a dark and stormy night when the laws of time and space meant nothing.
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Roll Credits
Sancho <Fist Bump> Pendragon
Hey, that was so much fun I'm thinking of starting another story. Hmm. Something totally original. Hmm. Wait, I know:
"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."
Nah, that'll never work. Nobody'd ever start a story with a comma splice.
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Yeah, I really enjoyed the wild ride Sancho. My wife got many a laugh over our madcap blending of TV, literature, Horror films, pulp magazines, songs, and of course real life characters. It was a good run and I'd love to do it again sometime. I'm going to miss waiting to see what you had added and thinking up ways to make it more illogical than before. Thank you. It's been great!
God Bless
Pen
