What is it about you

No, I think, or at least for me, you have hit my inner fears straight on! Its insane! Only, you put them down better than I had! Thank you!:)

I wish my husband could see that I need his help more.

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Originally Posted by motherhubbard

I wish my husband could see that I need his help more.

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That makes me want to cry.

People don't see my anger. For some reason I am angry almost all the time. I've been this way for more years than I care to count and I don't know where I get my bottomless pit of churning rage. It is just there and tends to drive most of my life. It drives my ambition and desire to spite the world with sucess that no one expects. Some days it leaves me in a state of rage that I can only offer kindness to my children and husband. The only people safe are those closest to me and even then it pours over onto them once in a while. Take my mom, she is like a best friend to me, but at 16 I didn't speak to her for 6 months after a horrible argument. My husband left for 6 months on a deployment with the military and I didn't miss his presence until about 2 months before he returned home because we had been having marriage trouble. I don't have a hot rage, it is like I get pushed only so far then I just go cold. If you are not someone whom I love dearly then I never warm back up.

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Originally Posted by motherhubbard

I wish my husband could see that I need his help more.

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Originally Posted by Mortis Anarchy

That makes me want to cry.

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Yes, you phrased it so simply... I can just sense the emotion. I don't want to say "desperate need" because that's not what I mean. I can feel your sincerity.

On a funny note, just call out for him and say, "Yo... man! I need your help. Fo' sho!" Ahaha... I feel so gangster right now. :lol:

It's always nice when someone rises to the occasion but since your husband might not be all that in tune with your needs just ask. I'm sure he'd be more than willing if you're nice.

I wish my dad was home more...that way he could see that yes I am a young adult, but I still need my dad.

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Originally Posted by Brigitte

Yes, you phrased it so simply... I can just sense the emotion. I don't want to say "desperate need" because that's not what I mean. I can feel your sincerity.

On a funny note, just call out for him and say, "Yo... man! I need your help. Fo' sho!" Ahaha... I feel so gangster right now. :lol:

It's always nice when someone rises to the occasion but since your husband might not be all that in tune with your needs just ask. I'm sure he'd be more than willing if you're nice.

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Same thing happened to my mom. She was depressed and angry all the time. Then one day she just snapped and yelled at my dad telling him that she needs him to be more helpful. He is pretty helpful now.:D

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Originally Posted by Redzeppelin

I think the opposite sex is totally fooled by what I present when I'm "on" performing as a teacher or musician...and what they don't see is that I'm terribly self-conscious, terrified of rejection and haunted by the feeling that I've never really fit in anywhere in this life; that I really have much to say once they get to know me and am desperate to fearlessly know and be known by a woman...that I'm much more than I apppear to be (which I don't think appears to be anything but average).

My, that sounds a bit _______. :redface:

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Not many people have a way with words like you do.
Thanks for sharing that, it's always a pleasure reading your posts. ;)

He is wonderful to me, but I hate to ask for help. I want to do it all, and a lot of the times I think I do it better. But sometimes I think he likes that I don't ask for help, or takes for granted that I can just do everything. Then when other men do something around the house or take the kids for an hour he doesn't understand that that's what men should do.

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Originally Posted by motherhubbard

He is wonderful to me, but I hate to ask for help. I want to do it all, and a lot of the times I think I do it better. But sometimes I think he likes that I don't ask for help, or takes for granted that I can just do everything. Then when other men do something around the house or take the kids for an hour he doesn't understand that that's what men should do.

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I think the best thing to do is to let him know that you may be wonder woman, but even wonder woman needs a break. Even Wonder woman needs a little help from super man.:)

I hate asking for help too, but in the long run I think it people benfit from asking for help. We are human after all.

sounds good on paper, doesn't it!

Give it a shot. You might be surprised.

or why not put it on paper?

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Originally Posted by motherhubbard

He is wonderful to me, but I hate to ask for help. I want to do it all, and a lot of the times I think I do it better. But sometimes I think he likes that I don't ask for help, or takes for granted that I can just do everything. Then when other men do something around the house or take the kids for an hour he doesn't understand that that's what men should do.

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no, you must take your time.

and by take, I mean TAKE your time.

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Originally Posted by motherhubbard

He is wonderful to me, but I hate to ask for help. I want to do it all, and a lot of the times I think I do it better. But sometimes I think he likes that I don't ask for help, or takes for granted that I can just do everything. Then when other men do something around the house or take the kids for an hour he doesn't understand that that's what men should do.

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I think I know how you feel. I hate to ask for help also, but there is this part that just assumes that they know you need the help and should be offering it up. We have this problem in my house also, and I tend to suck it up and just push harder but normally if I were to just ask for the help it would be given. Hang in there and don't forget to ask for that hour or two away or help with the dishwasher or whatever needs accomplished:) By the way, I'm sure you likely are doing things better, but having it not quite perfect but recieving the help is nice too. Just curve the urge to go behind and touch up where you though it was lacking. My husband hates when I do that:D

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Originally Posted by motherhubbard

He is wonderful to me, but I hate to ask for help. I want to do it all, and a lot of the times I think I do it better. But sometimes I think he likes that I don't ask for help, or takes for granted that I can just do everything. Then when other men do something around the house or take the kids for an hour he doesn't understand that that's what men should do.

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Hm... it's rare, but my aunt's husband does so much. He never has to be asked, he just helps out around the house and yaddayadda. He is Japanese, and his parents raised him very well so that may have something to do with it.

In any case, even if he doesn't do it right, let him do it his way. They get discouraged if a woman tells him, "No, that's not right" because then their excuse is, "I don't know how. You do it." Tsk. So.. just let them sort things out and learn. ^_^

Heh, try leaving him a post-it near the fridge, "Can you make dinner tonight?" and go out to the mall. Ahaha.. see what happens (they gotta get hungry eventually). ;]

I'm a pretty quiet person when I'm around people..I barely talk..and I'm usually even shy when talked to..so people normaly think of me as someone who doesn't know a thing about the world and has no opinions whatsoever...and this is a problem I face with many people cuz they tend to underestimate me as an individual...I mean, I'm not saying that I'm a brilliant, perfect, too-good-to-be-true kinda girl, but I hate the shallow look that people have sometimes...esp. cuz I'm a veiled person, and veiled Muslim girls have the reputation of being generaly dumb..which is utterly wrong.
So I think peoepl fail to see ME at all...and maybe it's partialy my fault...but still, if you really wanna know people you gotta try to dig deeper..I guess.