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Well done Mick, we bow in your general direction.
A well thought out, creative piece. I'm curious about the form or approach taken in the first part, is that based on a historic form of that time? Or is the gap in the text your own whim? It seems either column can also be read separate from the other.
OK, OK, it was a direct rip off of BEOWOLF ,s format from the sixth century. 4 beats then a cesura or gap then another 4 beats, with plenty of alliteration between the two halves. It is the earliest English written down form I know of.
I really liked trying it out. The second half I found was usually like a comment or extra info on the first. So it could almost be read without it. Must do some more.
I would personally mention it if I were to use the form of something else, honestly. I don't think it doesn't count because of this, but I would mention it if something does not originally come from you.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
There's no such thing as an original form anymore - is there?
My tried and trusted way of posting a pic isn't working at the moment.
http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7...psffacf5b3.jpg
There you go.
Thanks for the picture. When is the deadline?
Blowing in the Wind
Jack Skellington chased Mary Poppins
Half-way cross the storybook page
Never realized that the wind she rode
Sent her on to other cases
Jack Skellington went back home
To his pieced together experimental wife
Never trust a woman who rides the updrafts
Stick with the one that's there in troubled times...
Pendragon (C) January 2, 2014
His lady friends, they rarely stay.
Sometimes they're even blown away
Much like Clarice the other day.
He told her that umbrellas may,
When opened, tease the wind to play
With rain and turn his blue world gray.
up in the air
goes the fair lady in black
green is there
wearing a rare
symbol of care
rain to it
blossoms a string
image of spring
in grey and sings:
''oh winter bring
perfect a sling''
Bump and one week to the deadlineQuote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Hoping to have one by then.
It's not a strict deadline!
Before you became a star in the sky
Let my love come to you, let me try
Lunging at my love bird moving high
Umbrella in hand, harsh weather nigh
If you went alone my heart will ever cry
Take me along, my love,I wanna die!
The Temporal Separation
The wind of storm will carry me
Beyond the coldest grey of blue,
Against the thick weight of rain
Pushing the ribs of my umbrella,
Pulling the train of my wet skirt.
I shall go to the farthest moon,
The nether world of dead goths,
The darkest cosmos of vampires,
To beg the ghostly god of stars
For another life to be with you.
More Meat Pies
Long before Roswell
during Victoria's reign,
a pair of Grays settled
at 17 Cherry Tree Lane.
She was a nanny
that answered to Julie.
Van Dyke ashed his fanny
sweeping flues in Bexley.
Their Olympus Mons diet
made 'em thin as a rail
an inconvenience on Earth
during a Gowk Storm Gale.
Thank you everybody. Now this is the very very very last call! (almost)
last call to what prendrelemick? do you mean the deadline? hahaQuote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Yup! I have begun my cogitations.
I share your frustrations prendrelemick lol if only life congitated for us we would be kings and queens:DQuote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Here's a poem made from my favourite lines of the above.
To his pieced together experimental wife
Van Dyke ashed his fanny
The nether world of dead goths,
Lunging at my love bird moving high
His lady friends, they rarely stay.
''oh winter bring
perfect a sling''.
It was a close thing between mazHur and Miyako, But I declare mazHur the winner - I liked the wild proclaimation.
prendrelemick what a nice poem you have composed there and brilliant idea too :D
mazHur congratulations!!!
Congratulations, Mazhur. I like how the rhyming heightens the romantic darkness of your poem. Good work.
Thanks Cacian.Quote:
Originally Posted by cacian
I liked prendrelemick's poem and think it is better than mine!:)
thanks prendrelemick.
thanks a lot, my friend.:)Quote:
Originally Posted by miyako73
Hey, am facing problem uploading the picture. Can somebody help? Thanks
~~~~~~~~~~~~~Quote:
Originally Posted by mazHur
Wow! the attachment got uploaded and appears on the page!! Though it relates directly to the source I don't mind if friends will write their poems in the light thereof or perhaps give it a different meaning? Anyhow, it's there now.....Let's go!
Congratulations, mazHur! The picture is interesting. Is there a name for this sort or stitching on a person's skin? I would like to search for more information on it.
oh my !!! what is going on in this picture it hurts!!!:eek6:
I am going to have to leave this one is definitely not for me sorry mazHur :)
Tapestry of the Soul
I weave the threads
of your soul
into my flesh,
capturing your image,
immortalizing it
underneath my skin.
I will make a tapestry
of your life upon my
body, you will live
and breathe within
my every pore.
Your past,
future,
present
bleed through me,
our destinies balanced
against each other
upon the scales.
thank you, YesNo.
Cheers!
I put your picture on my hand.
The thread was dark. My palm was pale.
It will wear off. I understand.
By then, I'll know, we have gone stale.
Face palm.
New speak
Twitter style
We used to say
Duh!
Or :rolleyes:
(So passe')
Now, we tweet
#Facepalm
A short cut,
(Each character is precious)
A gesture of words.
But not an instruction
For heaven's sake! #Facepalm
Dunes of desert sands
weathered and revealed
so told by the shadows
which crack across the contours
and encroach the edges
like the timeline
of a river lost
The slither of a hint
winding within the ridges
of a fortune post-ordained
stitching sewn his thinning face
this gazing mesmerism
permitting our minds
one last mirage
Buck up, friends, and float some nice poems on the page....not much time left until 20th inst. for me to decide.
Ignoring pain, the sewer sews
Decorative patterns on the palm
Why the needle and the thread?
Would not a tattoo last longer
And be much more detailed and beautiful?
But then again, there's no laser surgery
To remove the patterns, just snip the thread...
Pendragon
(C) February 8, 2014
Chiromancy
Knit one, purl two,
the epidermis screams.
The first of many
tangled webs
woven across life lines
of adolescence.
A personal fable
now scars the palm,
that once,
held a mothers hand.
The protagonist stitched,
as egocentrism guides
dexterous fingers.
A sweaty face appears;
the imaginary friend,
that once
stirred, transparent,
under your bed.
I really like this ^ :)
Good job, Ms Gurgle (as entity :p).
Obviously we are already late for the result.....any more entries coming in?? No, yes? Okay I will try to post the result tomorrow.
Okay, I pronounce Dark Muse as the Winner!
Here is more information about the picture I posted. It will give you an idea how close or better you were in catching the concept poetically.
http://www.ignant.de/2014/01/14/hand...ta/#more-81336
Congrats,DM.
Ah hah, congrats DM