Write A Really Short Story In 50 Words Or Less

AuntShecky,
LMAO ... "wives suing for loss of consortium," now there's a brilliant legal tort that's never yet been tested :)
YesNo,
Like your vignette. Makes me think of Shaggy's famous song: “It Wasn't Me.” All those long words should be added to the modern dictionary, 'cause they convey clear meaning and are often heard by English speakers ‘round-the-world. I count 49 words on your short story, not counting the title. You most certainly found the poetic loophole in the word count rules by using all those hyphens :). I'd say, keep-on posting those genuine gems, but 'tis most often thought unwise ... to encourage the incorrigible :).
Hawg
PS: It would be fun to vote on the submissions on this thread too?

Thanks, Hawg Horse! I found Shaggy's song which I hadn't heard before: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2g5Hz17C4is He's pretty good.

A limit of 50 words initially seemed too restrictive but then it occurred to me that some chapters in graphic novels don't have many words in them.

Like the Time Elvis Shot Up His TV When Robert Goulet Came On

The viewer hurled the remote with such force it smashed the screen. He grabbed his crotch and yelled, “I got your ‘going forward’ right here!”

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Hawg Horse

Funeral XLVII

Alone and dead drunk again on Superbowl Sunday, surrounded by blowup dolls, each sporting his favorite player jerseys. Ravens on the right. Niners on stools, with celebrity glasses. Thanks for coming, he slurred, then bowed for their cheers. Beyonce (Destiny’s Child) was lip-synching as he lit his house afire.

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Fatastic! Standing ovation! Bravooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

A Horde of Millions of Crystal Meth Addicts Devouring Everything in Their Path...
a very short story by Wolf Larsen

A penis was having a celery dip with the evening news. The evening news is made out of corn flakes, and cornflakes are falling through your dreams like the orgasms of the Pope. Someone is playing Alfred Schnittke in the distance...

Copyright 2013 by Wolf Larsen

Thanx Wolf. Nice to hear back from the freeist mind onsite. Your posts always give me pause--usually making me feel out of touch with the latest ways of the world. Without you, I'd never have considered the wet dreams of the Pope
or the music of Schnitte.

The king died. Then the queen partied like it was 1599.

The Philosophy of World War 3 in a Cracker Jack Box
a very short story by Wolf Larsen

You were walking up thousands of miles into yourself when you discovered the big gigantic anus in the center of the universe. It was the big black hole of the big gigantic anus that was devouring dozens of solar systems by the minute. Caligula was there devouring all of the solar systems...

Copyright 2013 by Wolf Larsen

It was dark. He was in a coffin. In a panic he shouted and banged. The lid came off and smashed into the back. The hearse sprang open. The box slid out. He was rolling down the street, past the chemists screaming “Has anyone got anything to stop this coffin!”

FridaY niGht imMaculate cOncePtion aT the hOtel SaNta maRia (five hour rate)

a very short story by Wolf Larsen

And the symphony of three stories of bokity-bapity-bedsprings goes bonkity-bickity-oh-oh-oh as priests & politicians & other people's wives & their bosses & good girls from good families all practice the Catholic glories of Friday night immaculate conceptions by the thousands & thousands throughout Latin America. And in nine months...

Copyright 2013 by Wolf Larsen

Billy spent hours constructing his snowman. When it failed to come to life, Billy kicked and stomped it into a lumpy mess. He considered building a replacement, but his bus was coming. All the rest of the day, he treated his employees miserably.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by AuntShecky

Billy spent hours constructing his snowman. When it failed to come to life, Billy kicked and stomped it into a lumpy mess. He considered building a replacement, but his bus was coming. All the rest of the day, he treated his employees miserably.

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the title and the ending are so great! Bagel so well story. I mean Nagel so well story. I mean Nagel so well with the story. You know this voice recognition software sometimes really socks! Anyway I think you know what I mean.

Highway Inversions

From the backseat he thought of the interstate as slowly devoured. Pissing into the afternoon's empty wine bottle he felt an intense aversion towards his tumescence. The impulse was there, the synapses alert, scissors could be pulled from his kit, he would grasp this engorged moment...snip.

15836 or 18725
a very short story by Wolf Larsen

A poem & a very short story are exchanging gunshots outside on the street. You call the police and they laugh. Harold Washington falls through the ceiling with his male lover. You stick a mailbox into your penis and walk away...

Copyright 2013 by Wolf Larsen

Reading "snip" ... caused me a detumescent reaction.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by islandclimber

Highway Inversions

From the backseat he thought of the interstate as slowly devoured. Pissing into the afternoon's empty wine bottle he felt an intense aversion towards his tumescence. The impulse was there, the synapses alert, scissors could be pulled from his kit, he would grasp this engorged moment...snip.

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