Lymerick

It is nice on a beach in the nude
While I wait for the sun raw and crude
To come out. Make me tan!
Hey! Don’t run! Well, it ran
And those cops are especially rude.

In August I oft strut my stuff
(Including my Pompey Bum duff)
Till on beaches and strands
Both by womens and mans
I am sorely dressed down and rebuffed.

A dragon deserves a dark friend
But that damsel is on the light end
And her knight loves to fight
Not for wrong but for right.
There’s his gold, dark, and he can pretend.

A dragon loves piles of gold;
Like damsels, they're something to hold.
In killing potential
It's always essential
To keep others' assets controlled.

A coin to the eye should be bright.
In dark caves there’s that dimming of light
And the smell can get worse
Than a poet’s best verse
But the sound tinkles clear and just right.

That tinkling sound in the night
Might be physical need--well it might!
If my poesy lacks taste,
I assert: in your face!
I should rather be right than polite.

What’s unnatural likely is strange.
Take what’s normal apart, rearrange
What one’s hoping to see,
Or to smell, as in pee,
And what’s worst becomes best for a change.

A dragon once peed on the rug.
His damsel cried: "Hey you big lug!
I just washed the damn thing,
So drop the 'Yes, ma'am' thing
And wipe that flambé off your mug!' "

In order to find out the truth.
P.C. Law went in search of some proof.
But the herrings he found
Drove him far underground
When the answers were all on the roof.


Hmm, definitely not my thing I think :)

Welcome to Lymerick Ms. Cassie!
Your poetry's vivid and sassy.
As you probably know,
YesNo's gets quite slow,
And mine is appallingly gassy.

There once was a falsehood, aloof,
Who discovered an outstanding proof
That what’s what is so true
And what’s not will not do
That it vanished and left just its poof.

Welcome, Cassie!

Well thanks for the welcome YesNo
and to Pompey Bum, hello and yo!
With some practice I'm sure
I'll improve to match your
unsurpassed lymericity's flow.

Six famous blind men touched an elephant:
Each mentioned the part he'd found relevant.
Oh, I get the moral,
But why (not to quarrel)
Were they groping the thing? For the hell of it?

I once had a limerick in mind
Which was somewhat less than refined
The rhyme was stupendous
The meter horrendous
The subject a lady's behind

If to ribald verse you are inclined,
I have written that very same a kind:
Two ladies are running,
But one is more cunning,
And that means a lady's behind.