A Short Collection of Trashy Poems

Bar, thanks so much for your comment. Love your suggestion! I went back and made some modifications.

the very best to you too and have a wonderful New Year.

wow, now it's great! and I too am ready for the New Year, though not for a party, I'm afraid...! :Angel_anim: greetings! Bar

I don't do New Year's parties either, it's so overrated. For a low key celebration, best wishes for you in the coming year Bar!

hours on end


I would lie next to you even if
on a bed of brambles just to listen

there’s no music more beautiful
more addictive than your rhythmic snrrrrrrrr.....
hhhhhhh.....snrrrrrrrr.....hhhhhhh.....snrrrrrrrr. ....hhhhhhh.....snrrrrrrrr.....

That's a woman in love, I should say... for how else! ;) I'd suggest you use only one first "more" then the enumeration, but as always I might be wrong...

Best to you, haunted,

Bar

Nice idea Haunted and it's humour is a winner. But it is a bit overstated. too much snrrrrring. in the absence of punctuation I'd adjust the line breaks in the second part:

"there’s no music more beautiful
more addictive
than your rhythmic
snrrrrrrrr....."

Live and be well - H

Indeed, Bar :) I agree about the redundancy. I went back and took out a few more things. As always a pleasure to read your comments.

Hawk, you've got my contracted style down pat, LOL. But this one is different. The onomatopoeia is the poem. The repetition is also meant to create a hypnotic effect and extend the rhythm. Thanks for weighing in and finding humor in this little piece of silliness.

Lol! I had the pleasure of reading your works for some time. They may or may not say much but they are unique. To make onomatopoeia the poem is singular. XO

Aliengirl that's quite an astute observation. I do dig the most insignificant subject matters — the lowest denominators of life. Sometimes it's the smallest things that matter most.
And for your delightful comment, hugs from this haunted writer.

I don't know whether I'm really so good at observing but I'm pretty sure you are good at detecting smaller details. :)
This girl hugs you back. :grouphug:

your hours on end could be read in a number of ways I'm sure Haunted. A genuine romantic - the sacrifices we are so willing to make and not even prepared to call them that anyway! Or the wonderful sarcasm you have put to use, underlying so well the hours on end themselves. I don't know. I'm still on my first cup of tea. Either way, those few lines brought a smile to my face Haunted.

You would love me haunted. truely. I can hhhhh and snnrrrrr for hours.... but then I stop and scare the flying crap out of myself. I remember you referencing brambles a while back as an English expression you loved and glad to see it pop up here. I genuinely cannot decide if your poem is sarchasm or love .. but maybe thats the point, or not. Screwdriver! Clink! x

Delta, glad it put you in a good mood :). I can see how the title Hours on End would lead you and Jerry into thinking it's sarcasm. But it's nothing close to a full-blown snore, as there are no vowels in either "snrrrrrrrr" or "hhhhhhh". So I'm afraid it's truly a stupidly-in-love poem.

Jerry, I'd sure love you but dunno about that boil...never mind :D clink x

listener


the side of the face resting
on the moistened asphalt
bears imprints similar to
bumpy scar tissue

every few days
I turn over to the other side
so I won’t stiffen
into stone

still this is the best way
to detect distant sounds

like an imminent apocalypse
or your footsteps
coming back up the road

this is stunning, haunted from first to last word. a very powerful poem indeed! bravo! from Bar