Fedora: A hat favored by middle-aged gangsters so no one laughs at their comb-overs during stick ups.
Siren
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Fedora: A hat favored by middle-aged gangsters so no one laughs at their comb-overs during stick ups.
Siren
Siren: A loud noise to warn you about danger like a lighthouse warning sailors that a rocky shore is nearby. Beautiful creatures with angelic voices serving the opposite purpose of a lighthouse.
Oak:
Oak: A hardwood especially good for making beer storage barrels
Bootlegger:
Bootlegger: A dealer of wet alcohol in a dry county.
Trophy Wife:
Trophy Wife: Looks pretty, hollow inside, easily replaced if broken or lost.
Feline
Alternate definition: What you get if you marry a woman who's a better bowler than you are.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Muse
Feline: An evolutionary cousin of the fee-tiger.
Grammar
Grammar: Rules for speaking and writing a language, which change all the time. I distinctly remember being taught not to end a sentence with a preposition. That doesn't even set off grammar check now. We were also taught to avoid ain't, but it doesn't even set off Spellcheck now. And don't get me started on indenting paragraphs... grrrrrrrr!
Politically Correct:
Politically Correct: A cautious tactic that lets other people think that you think like they’re supposed to.
Trophy Husband:
Trophy husband: An assertion by powerful women that they can be as short-sited and stupid as any man. You go girl!
Food chain
A word describing the realisation that every time you eat something, you are also eating everything that it has eaten, and everything that had been eaten by the thing that it ate, ad infinitum. Basically, this means that every time you eat something, you're eating sh*t.
Anachronism:
Anachronism: Being afraid of spiders before they actually existed.
Mastodon
Mastodon - Huge, primeval, stomping, trumpeting creature with tusks used as a war vehicle in Lord of the Rings.
Whisky
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Pompey Bum
Whiskey: The sine qua non of small, hand-held brooms.
Phoenix
Phoenix: A place in Arizona where the major tourist attraction in the summer is the experience of going outside and feeling like you just entered a sauna. It may also refer to a strange bird whose notorious suicide attempts through self-immolation have always failed. I should introduce it to my dog, Fred.
Generosity:
Generosity: See tax deduction.
Selfishness
Selfishness: Haranguing the waitress all night and then not leaving a tip
Tax:
Tax: Push pins that hold up pix
Vinyl
Vinyl: Surperior way of listening to music
Photograph
You beat me to it, Dark Muse. Here's my version:
Vinyl: An ethylene molecule running one hydrogen atom short of a full load.
Photograph
Photograph - an exact facsimile of other people projected onto a two-dimensional space, but for some reason makes you look fatter than you actually are and older than you want to be.
Propoganda
Propaganda: A special sort of lie betraying the fact that Dear Leader could not do it without our support.
Supervisor
Supervisor: The Village Idiot refurbished and given a micron of authority, he or she now feels able to tell experts how to do their job
Employee:
Employee: An employer who sells his time and talents to someone else.
Stone:
Stone: A unit of mass equal to 14 pounds used in Great Britain and Ireland for measuring body weight. Also the material technology/culture prior to the Bronze Age and an epithet associated with Cold Steve Austin.
Nihilism
Nihilism: A philosophy that forgets to inhale before it exhales.
Existentialism:
Existentialism: A philosophy in which the best human beings are capable of is nausea.
Cheeseburger
Cheeseburger: A wonderful meal featuring a sandwich containing miscellaneous parts from dead cows ground to perfection, covered with melted cheese, lettuce, pickles, tomato and sauces that is fit for the gods especially when served with a generous quantity of craft beer and you are not required by those you are dining with to substitute steamed broccoli for the fries.
Friday the Thirteenth:
Friday the Thirteenth: A day eerily preceded by Thursday the Twelfth.
Fortune teller
Fortune Teller: Someone who spoils the fun out of the future.
Aura:
Aura: What migraines do when the pain gets boring.
Root canal
Root Canal: Dental procedure that costs about the same dollar for dollar as the Panama Canal or the Suez Canal
Dentist:
Dentist: A driver who specializes in fender benders.
Monopoly
Dentist: A paid friend bound to you by the mutually understood fiction that you floss after lunch.
Fireman
Monopoly: A form of brainwashing in which children are taught that it is possible to get out of jail free.
Fireman
Fireman: A superhero opposed to arsonists, pyromaniacs and acts of God.
Valentine's Day
Valentine's Day: A second chance at disaster for husband's who remembered their anniversaries.
Leopard
Leopard: Rapidly vanishing member of a feline family whose only predator is foolish people. 2) Large predatory cat that is on your sidewalk when you walk out explaining to your kid, "Look it is only a little Bleeping Bleep of a Bleep!"
Hunting:
Hunting: Looking for something that will likely show up on its own once you are sober.
Hell Hole
:)Quote:
Originally Posted by YesNo
Hell Hole: Impolite term for a heck hole.
Brazen
Brazen: Bold enough to get attention, dumb enough to want it.
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