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Burn These Cars!Ladies and Gentlemen, we are sorry to announce the death of our fellow member, Pendragon. Yesterday at night, he got hit by a speedy car. Three people witnessed the scene, but none was able to catch the crazy driver who ran away taking advantage of the dark. Poor Pen, he will be missed a lot.
Missing Litnet forumers!
Nary a blue feather nor cup of coffee was left on the scene after the mysterious disappearence of Litnet members Pensive and Cuppajoe_9. What was left was a cryptic note saying only that "They sleep wit da fishes, capisce?" One can only wonder how restful that sleep will be.....:eek:
What dastardly deed doer could have done such a....well, such a dastardly deed? Inquiring minds want to know!
What Kathy Did?
No one knows really what Kathy did, that made the old Giant angry, and he came from the land of terror, especially, to devour her. :bawling:
poor Penseive . . . just HAD to get in the way of Old King Cole . . . she will be sorely missed . . . along with her 2-and-twenty friends!!
There were astonishing scenes at the river this morning, it appears the team finally got fed up being shouted at to row (by the one person not helping) and drowned their cox. The cox has been indentified as Mir.
A Letter Killed Him.
What was it? Who wrote it? No one knows, because kilted tore the letter in pieces after receiving it in front of his old friend, Dean Hill. After that occasion, he was nowhere to be seen and Alas, after a few days of that incident, a dead body was found and it was recognized to be Kilted's. Poor one, he will be missed.
A few scattered bright blue feathers were all that remained of Pensive after a gang of unusually large sparrows exacted their brutal revenge. A high-ranking gang member, who identified himself only as The Beak, was quoted as saying "Right, well we was sick of 'er always layin 'er eggs in other birds nests, now wasn't we? It ain't right. It's just lazy, innit?" A local reporter asked if the gang might possibly have mockingbirds confused with cukoos. Then everybody had a good laugh. The Beak was heard to remark "The Rob Roys made a right auld slits in a dress out of that one. We done gone an' offed the Pete Tong bird.", but nobody has any idea what he was talking about.
News Bulletin:
There has been a murder most fowl, as Inspector Mortimer Graves put it. It seems that Cuppajoe was having his usual cuppa with a mysterious stranger whom witnesses describe as "An odd bird, that 'un." Joe's cuppa proved to have a deadly poison in it, and he died in record time in fearful agony. A black rose was left by his body, with a note: "Hee, youse gotta drink yer own poison, pal, capisce?" A white and black feather was also inside the note. Graves stated this may deal with the paranormal…
Like that fabled chicken of riddles, Pendragon just had to cross the road. While on this perilous journey, a mad pack of women drivers on their way to the "coffee for the girls" thread mowed him down accidently. Yipes! :eek:
The mad women drivers from the previous post forget to turn off their headlights and kill the battery, when attempting to jump start the car Kathy electrocutes herself by getting the cable polarities mixed up.
While playing bagpipes, Kilted Exile trips on his kilt and falls from the cliff into the deep water below and becomes lunch for the Loch Ness Monster.
yum! :p
While happily munching on the collected works of William Shakespeare in a deserted library, Bookworm came upon a TYPING ERROR (gasp! :lol:) and fell down dead out of horror!! (his corpse later joined to many zombies at LitNet! welcome to the ranks of the many-times-undead!! :D)
SIGNAL FROM SPACE!
A very weak signal from outer space was picked up last night, believed to come from the abandoned U.S.S.R. Space Station, Mir. One had to listen very closely, and Doctor Mortimer Graves, Paranormal Investigator, stated that it might be an "EVP", or "electronic voice phenomena". A woman's faint voice was clearly heard: "Why was I abandoned? I'd kill for a cuppa." The words were repeated several times then a sigh, and silence. We may never know for sure.
An unlucky terrorist was given a mission to bomb Pentagon. He read the name of the target wrong :(
While taking a trip around the world in eighty days, Jouzou's hot air balloon malfunctioned over the Eiffel Tower. Well...