Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

....We also used to get rules and slippers - or pumps across the backside. I've also been and seen kids get slapped - sometimes across the face. The Middle school i went to had the cane - which I never had the pleasure of.

Ahh the good old days...

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

...I know what kept us in line - one day when I was about 8, the teacher beat the living crap out of my mate. She was in a fury,...

...One of our teachers was a Maori All Black prop PE teacher. His classes were pretty well-behaved...

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I attended Catholic school for the first few years of grade school. I still have vivid memories of Sister Cecilia and her 12 inch Maple rule. She whacked your palms or wrists so hard, you could measure from the imprint left behind. My parents pulled me out and sent me to public school. I had the baseball coach for a history class in Junior High. He used a board, about the same proportions as a cricket bat. You don't want a baseball coach dolling out corporal "licks".

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

...some of my endowments also require suspenders; but I've given up wearing them....

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Very funny !!

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Only a few days after winning their sixth European Champion title in Barcelona, Spain, Panathinaikos of Athens clinched their 13th Greek Championship title in 14 years last night.

Panathinaikos went into the finals against Olympiakos Pireaus (also known as the scum of the earth) with a home-court disadvantage, but won the series 3-1 anyway - 'cause, you know. It's just the way it is. They have been the greatest club in Europe for so long that any aspiring challengers know they are just that, aspiring challengers.

The six-time European champions won the fourth game in the series 101 - 94 in front of their home crowd who once again packed the OAKA Arena to capacity, even though they lost their captain (and European player of the year) Dimitris Diamantidis a few seconds into the game due to injury. Youngster John Kalathis took over at point guard and dominated the key with 16 points and 5 assists. Antonis Fotsis hit 6/6 three-pointers in his 28-point rampage, and Mike Batist (pictured below) kept crashing the boards scooping up 11 offensive rebounds and 22 points.

For one night, we forgot our worries about the state our economy is in and had a chance to bring out the retsina and the bouzouki. Well, Panathinaikos fans did. Olympiakos fans didn't. Go on, ask me if I feel sorry for them...

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_0YS0Ob3sKZ...age1_41501.jpg

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I don't know, maybe I'm looking at it from gender bias; but nurses have all the sex appeal of an 80 year old nun to me; which reminds me, any of you guys into nuns:lol:

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No way! They become a hard habit to break, so I hear.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Do you have any idea where there hands have been, if so, you would never let them touch you! That's why I go after all doctors except gynecologists.

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I'd be more concerned about the proctologist!

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Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

I attended Catholic school for the first few years of grade school. I still have vivid memories of Sister Cecilia and her 12 inch Maple rule. She whacked your palms or wrists so hard, you could measure from the imprint left behind. My parents pulled me out and sent me to public school. I had the baseball coach for a history class in Junior High. He used a board, about the same proportions as a cricket bat. You don't want a baseball coach dolling out corporal "licks".

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Ow!

Nuns have a horrible history of child abuse while teaching. Luckily for them, the behaviour of the priests allowed the nuns to hide away quietly.

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Originally Posted by DocHeart

Only a few days after winning their sixth European Champion title in Barcelona, Spain, Panathinaikos of Athens clinched their 13th Greek Championship title in 14 years last night.

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Congrats to you and your team!

I'm betting you're not too upset for the Olympiakos fans. Something about your post just gives me that impression:

Olympiakos Pireaus (also known as the scum of the earth)

:smilielol5:

Basketball's going ok here at the moment as well, with our team having just taken out the Australian Champs.

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Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

I attended Catholic school for the first few years of grade school. I still have vivid memories of Sister Cecilia and her 12 inch Maple rule. She whacked your palms or wrists so hard, you could measure from the imprint left behind. My parents pulled me out and sent me to public school. I had the baseball coach for a history class in Junior High. He used a board, about the same proportions as a cricket bat. You don't want a baseball coach dolling out corporal "licks".

Very funny !!

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I'm sure you wouldn't have minded your lashings if the nuns would have looked like Kate Middleton.
Thank you, it's good to be appreciated.

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

No way! They become a hard habit to break, so I hear.


I'd be more concerned about the proctologist!


Ow!

Nuns have a horrible history of child abuse while teaching. Luckily for them, the behaviour of the priests allowed the nuns to hide away quietly.

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I don't know any women who go to proctologist...do we? hum, I don't know any proctologists that admit to being proctologists...:idea:

Really, well, I did meet a few gentlemen who found me irresistible in my white dresses, one later confided, though, that is was because my panty line showed through in the light.

Did we used to hear much about the sins of priests? I don't recall it until the 80s; though my mother being a protestant had all sorts of stories about Catholics.

So, is Kate with child or not, Star says yes, Buckingham says no.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I don't know any women who go to proctologist...do we? hum, I don't know any proctologists that admit to being proctologists...:idea:

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Here in the UK the NHS calls us men up when we're 55 for a visit to the friendly local proctologist - not sure what they're called - well officially called - here.

A friend of mine used to describe the visits. He said the chap usually looked a large ruddy faced giant who was of a genetic lineage of bale hauling agriculturalists whose usual hobbies included wrestling bulls or bending iron bars with their huge strapping hams.

I don't know whether it just looked that way as he adopted the position...

Anyway - to the utter delight of our wives - the birthday party will be in full swing when the letter - like an uninvited bad fairy - will drop through the letter box with the euphemism - screening - typed in jagged black letters across the top. :lol:

I shall be taking my own jar of vasaline.

Things a proctologist might say:


"Don't have a seat, I'll be right with you."

"Yes, I see a family resemblance."

"Out of K-Y Jelly? Oh well, let's do a dry run."

"I'm putting you on a low-bean diet."

"Nurse, give me a number 2 sandpaper glove."

"If you think that was a pain in the ***, wait till you get my bill."

"Nurse! Who let this ******* in my office?"

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I don't know any women who go to proctologist...do we? hum, I don't know any proctologists that admit to being proctologists...:idea:

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Yeah, women don't feature high on the rectal disease list. Where's your equal rights there, eh?

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Here in the UK the NHS calls us men up when we're 55 for a visit to the friendly local proctologist - not sure what they're called - well officially called - here.

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Do they have national prostate screening in UK?

There are signs of them wanting to do it here. Waste of time and money, and adverse medical results says it shouldn't happen, but some blokes get a bit of size envy at the girls' health budgets every so often...

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

A friend of mine used to describe the visits. He said the chap usually looked a large ruddy faced giant who was of a genetic lineage of bale hauling agriculturalists whose usual hobbies included wrestling bulls or bending iron bars with their huge strapping hams.

I don't know whether it just looked that way as he adopted the position...

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I think you'll find he means the hand size.

I always tell mates that if you're having anything done in that region, find a Chinese female doctor. ;) (I once had a Dutch bargee. :eek2:)

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Originally Posted by DocHeart

Things a proctologist might say:


"Don't have a seat, I'll be right with you."

"Yes, I see a family resemblance."

"Out of K-Y Jelly? Oh well, let's do a dry run."

"I'm putting you on a low-bean diet."

"Nurse, give me a number 2 sandpaper glove."

"If you think that was a pain in the ***, wait till you get my bill."

"Nurse! Who let this ******* in my office?"

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http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s...eist/funny.gif

Yes I think they do prostate screening too. Either that or they're thinking about it.

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Here in the UK the NHS calls us men up when we're 55 for a visit to the friendly local proctologist - not sure what they're called - well officially called - here.

A friend of mine used to describe the visits. He said the chap usually looked a large ruddy faced giant who was of a genetic lineage of bale hauling agriculturalists whose usual hobbies included wrestling bulls or bending iron bars with their huge strapping hams.

I don't know whether it just looked that way as he adopted the position...

Anyway - to the utter delight of our wives - the birthday party will be in full swing when the letter - like an uninvited bad fairy - will drop through the letter box with the euphemism - screening - typed in jagged black letters across the top. :lol:

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Isn't it strange how fellows with wide, heavy hands always go into jobs like glass blowing, proctology and gynecology. I had a doctor with huge hands who thought I had some sort of post traumatic stess because he said I bit him when his hands were in my mouth; the doctor was so huge that my teeth grazed his hands and his private parts always grazed the patients leg when he was doing an examination. :lol:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

I shall be taking my own jar of vasaline.

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Originally Posted by DocHeart

Things a proctologist might say:


"Don't have a seat, I'll be right with you."

"Yes, I see a family resemblance."

"Out of K-Y Jelly? Oh well, let's do a dry run."

"I'm putting you on a low-bean diet."

"Nurse, give me a number 2 sandpaper glove."

"If you think that was a pain in the ***, wait till you get my bill."

"Nurse! Who let this ******* in my office?"

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Aren't their any female proctologists...of course, ones who don't wear glue on nails.

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

Yeah, women don't feature high on the rectal disease list. Where's your equal rights there, eh?



Do they have national prostate screening in UK?

There are signs of them wanting to do it here. Waste of time and money, and adverse medical results says it shouldn't happen, but some blokes get a bit of size envy at the girls' health budgets every so often...



I think you'll find he means the hand size.

I always tell mates that if you're having anything done in that region, find a Chinese female doctor. ;) (I once had a Dutch bargee. :eek2:)



http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s...eist/funny.gif

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I've avoided colonoscopies even though I'm a few years past 50. I had never met a woman with colon cancer except ladies of the night; but recently I talked with my ex's sister and she got colon cancer in her early 30's.


That reminds me Atheist, do any of you fellows remember when "trolling" met prostituting? Apparently, it means something else now

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Yes I think they do prostate screening too. Either that or they're thinking about it.

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Against the sound findings of the BMJ, no less.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

That reminds me Atheist, do any of you fellows remember when "trolling" met prostituting? Apparently, it means something else now

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Yes!

Although I've always used it in fishing rather than that kind of hooking. I guess you could troll for hookers on the internet!

Looks like winter might be finally starting here and we haven't been back to our beach yet.

Lizzie's birthday was taken up with more civilised pursuits:

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s...inaionline.jpg

(the winner of the Open Hurdle at Ellerslie racecourse on Monday)

Ah a day at the races, that photo could have been taken this spring at Haydock - doesn't New Zealand do Autumn?

The daughter went to York races last month. She put £5 on a horse and it won, so she put £10 on a horse in the next, that won too. She went to put £20 on one in the next, but couldn't get to her lucky bookie in time, and the horse won. She had chosen horses she liked the look of, nothing to do with form.

Her boyfriend then got her to put all his remaining stake money on a horse she fancied in the next, and he lost it all.

That lady luck, fickle as ever.

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Ah a day at the races, that photo could have been taken this spring at Haydock - doesn't New Zealand do Autumn?

The daughter went to York races last month. She put £5 on a horse and it won, so she put £10 on a horse in the next, that won too. She went to put £20 on one in the next, but couldn't get to her lucky bookie in time, and the horse won. She had chosen horses she liked the look of, nothing to do with form.

Her boyfriend then got her to put all his remaining stake money on a horse she fancied in the next, and he lost it all.

That lady luck, fickle as ever.

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I once played a rugby game in the middle of York racecourse. It was a saturda morning, but no races were going on at the time.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Isn't it strange how fellows with wide, heavy hands always go into jobs like glass blowing, proctology and gynecology...

...Aren't their any female proctologists...of course, ones who don't wear glue on nails.

....That reminds me Atheist, do any of you fellows remember when "trolling" met prostituting? Apparently, it means something else now

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I received the white glove treatment a couple of years ago.
My Dr. is from India, she has big hands.

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

Looks like winter might be finally starting here and we haven't been back to our beach yet.

Lizzie's birthday was taken up with more civilised pursuits:

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s...inaionline.jpg

(the winner of the Open Hurdle at Ellerslie racecourse on Monday)

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Hold your Jackalopes!!...is Lizzie one of yours?
Great job and/or happy birthday.


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Entirely random; a fresh layer of chemtrail dust just settled on my property last night and it got me to thinking about other wordly phenomenon. I found this postcard I picked up the last time I passed through Roswell New Mexico:

http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...ebrisField.jpg

The caption on the back reads:
"Major Jesse Marcel inspects material as "Mac" Brazel discusses finding the debris field on the ranch near Corona, New Mexico, July 7, 1947"

Looks like we have an anniversary coming up!


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