A paste made from crushed cars.
Pasta
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A paste made from crushed cars.
Pasta
what Sara Palin's third grade teacher should not have done
deodorant
A substance that masks a smell with a worse one.
Canape
Canape Question asked by a three-year old child at the most inopportune moments, such as during the Super Bowl or at a fine restaurant, usually at the top of their little lungs
Certain
When applied to horses, means that it is probably only fit for glue, or Belgian Lunchboxes.
Scent
See Deoderant
President
The mark made in the wing of your car after your wife gives you a cookery book as a present.
indigenous
A person with no obvious means of financial support who claims to have lived where you live before you did, and consequently wants you to bugger off so he can have your home.
counterweight
Noticing how much more of your wife there is on your tenth wedding anniversary than there was on the day you married.
gazeteer
Contrary to popular belief a Gazeteer is not one who gazets. A gazeteer is, in fact, a manufacturer of binoculars and devices which assist the spectator when they wish to gaze
Frock
an unpleasantry often heard at your doctor's office: as in "frock off"
penultimate
A superb writing implement which will make sure that everything you write is well articulated, grammatically correct and spelt proper.
bus-stop
A recreational area for disaffected youth which provides them with an outlet for their destructive urges. Ideally should be counstructed from vulcanised rubber and guarded by the demon Asteroth.
Telephone
A device that, in the modern era, has 37 different ways of telling you that the party to whom you wish to speak is too flaming lazy to answer it. (I encountered an answering machine last week that told me the person I was calling could not answer, and I couldn't leave a message. So much less efficient than me using my brain to realise that if he hadn't answered after 39 rings, he probably wasn't going to! And it cost me for the call!!!!!)
modulation
modulation: an extremely fervent expression of regard for The Small Faces
wallpaper