Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

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06-20-2009, 07:34 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Athiest, I have to come clean about the salmon. It was quite difficult to estimate the weight. This may have something to do with the fact it was in a can. :)

You're not a True Scotsman!

No way would a True Scotsman ever joke about catching a saumont. A small amount of exaggeration is expected, but outright false claims?

My word.

Best you stay away from pubs near the Spey for a while.

:lol:
06-20-2009, 07:43 PM
jocky

Athiest, what are you doing on a Christian forum, your not trying to convert them are you? I have just had a brilliant idea, why dont we put on our best suits, knock on a few doors and leave a few pamphlets? We are bound to get a better reception than the Mormons. There could be fringe benefits as well, lonely widows. ; )

Sorry Athiest, but it was made perfectly clear to me to keep well away from Speyside for the rest of eternity. A prophet is never loved in his own land.:)

http://www.bwmaonline.com/Canadian%2...d%20salmon.jpg

To all you doubters out there, here is a small percentage of the batch that came from my catch.:p

http://www.bwmaonline.com/Canadian%2...d%20salmon.jpg

Never let it be said that Jocky never backs up his comments with hard evidence. :D
06-21-2009, 03:15 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Athiest, what are you doing on a Christian forum, your not trying to convert them are you? I have just had a brilliant idea, why dont we put on our best suits, knock on a few doors and leave a few pamphlets? We are bound to get a better reception than the Mormons. There could be fringe benefits as well, lonely widows. ; )

Haha; I used to be a lawnmowing contractor, so I know all about those lonely widows.

Actually, I was invited to join the christian forum - it's full of very liberal christians and we all get along fine.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Sorry Athiest, but it was made perfectly clear to me to keep well away from Speyside for the rest of eternity. A prophet is never loved in his own land.:)

:lol::lol::lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Never let it be said that Jocky never backs up his comments with hard evidence. :D

Isn't that a shamrock leaf on the clover brand? Silly Canucks!
06-21-2009, 03:39 PM
Stargazer86

Athiest- Its a clover. A shamrock only has three leaves
06-21-2009, 05:43 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stargazer86

Athiest- Its a clover. A shamrock only has three leaves

So does clover - mostly - but those leaves are shamrock-shaped. Unless there is different clover in Ca, which possible, eh?
06-21-2009, 05:54 PM
Stargazer86

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

So does clover - mostly - but those leaves are shamrock-shaped. Unless there is different clover in Ca, which possible, eh?

I was always under the impression that if it had four leaves it was a clover but if it had 3 leaves it was a shamrock (the trinity/St Patrick)

In Jocky's defense, I imagine they grow in Scotland as well
I have seen them throughout Cali. They're just really pretty weeds
06-21-2009, 06:31 PM
jocky

Athiest I understand your '' honest doubt '' and Stargazer thanks for that strong backing, but I think you both will never rise to the heights of Sherlock Holmes, who would have instantly spotted that Pacific Sockeye salmon are not usually hooked in Scotland. '' Once the impossible has been ruled out, whatever is left, however improbable, must be the solution. '' Please however, dont tell anyone or my reputation will be in tatters throughout half the known world. :)
06-21-2009, 07:29 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Athiest I understand your '' honest doubt '' and Stargazer thanks for that strong backing, but I think you both will never rise to the heights of Sherlock Holmes, who would have instantly spotted that Pacific Sockeye salmon are not usually hooked in Scotland.

I did, which is why I mentioned Canada, eh?

Clover generally has three leaves:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clover

but I see that the rare four-leafer shown at Wiki does have more sharock-looking leaves.

Where's our sheep-farmer?
06-21-2009, 07:45 PM
jocky

I just knew there was no beating you athiest. There is no such thing as a four leaf clover in Scotland, that would imply an element of luck and that just never happens in my country. If you ever visit we can gaurantee you one thing, horizontal rain. I will take your word for mentioning Canada even though a cynic might assume Ca stands for California. My favourite saying, and I have a strange feeling this may apply to you, is ' I am not always right, but I am never wrong. ' :) Oh I just got it Canucks, Canadian. Forgive my cynicism.
06-21-2009, 08:03 PM
Stargazer86

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

I just knew there was no beating you athiest. There is no such thing as a four leaf clover in Scotland, that would imply an element of luck and that just never happens in my country. If you ever visit we can gaurantee you one thing, horizontal rain. I will take your word for mentioning Canada even though a cynic might assume Ca stands for California. My favourite saying, and I have a strange feeling this may apply to you, is ' I am not always right, but I am never wrong. ' :) Oh I just got it Canucks, Canadian. Forgive my cynicism.

:lol: OMG It's from the Pacific! How blatently obvious.
My *doh* moment for the day haha

Athiest- I assumed you meant California

oh lordy lordy

Much ado about salmon

Don't worry Jocky. Your secret is safe with me!
06-21-2009, 08:18 PM
jocky

Stargazer their is no point ambushing Jocky when he has had a little light refreshment, euphemism for heading into an alcohol induced coma very shortly, I will never make assumtions about Californians again, and I dont want to get into a confrontation with the governator, voted in by the sensible folks of the sunshine state. Duh :)

That Stargazer is a bit of a stalker aint he? Must be a Californian thing.
06-21-2009, 08:54 PM
Stargazer86

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

That Stargazer is a bit of a stalker aint he? Must be a Californian thing.

:lol: stalker? You're the one who friend added me :P
I always look at the bloke's thread when I see new posts

And I'm a she, not a he

Just for the record, I'm no fan of the govenator. For the love of all that is holy, do NOT lump me in with the average Californian :bawling:
I'm allowed a blonde moment from time to time
06-21-2009, 10:45 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

I just knew there was no beating you athiest. There is no such thing as a four leaf clover in Scotland, that would imply an element of luck and that just never happens in my country.

What? Luckiest country in the world, Scotland.

Right next to England, not far from Wales, close to Iceland - hell, it should be the tourist capital of the world!

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

If you ever visit we can gaurantee you one thing, horizontal rain. I will take your word for mentioning Canada even though a cynic might assume Ca stands for California.

Ah, but you missed the Canadian sentence structure, eh?

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

My favourite saying, and I have a strange feeling this may apply to you, is ' I am not always right, but I am never wrong. ' :)

Nah, mine's a lot simpler:

I am always right!
06-22-2009, 03:52 AM
prendrelemick

Or the female logic version, "I'm always right, even when I'm wrong" :D
06-22-2009, 02:56 PM
The Comedian

Hello Gentlemen,

I've recently felled two trees and am now in the process of cleaning up the brush and logs. Soon, I'll split the wood with maul (not a motorized splitter) and create, with luck and some effort, a dandy wood pile.

Oh, the two trees: (1) Red oak and (1) quaking aspen, referred to as "poplar" in some areas.

I'll be taking photos to document my efforts.
06-22-2009, 03:06 PM
Niamh

Question... have any of you lot watched the Lions tour so far? I havent had a chance to watch any of the games. Have i missed much?
06-22-2009, 05:40 PM
papayahed

The Lions? They lost all they're games last year, I'm a fan and I don't even want to follow them.
06-22-2009, 06:01 PM
Niamh

Quote:

Originally Posted by papayahed

The Lions? They lost all they're games last year, I'm a fan and I don't even want to follow them.

I hope you are on about the Lions tour as in the Rugby.... :p
06-22-2009, 06:36 PM
Virgil

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh

I hope you are on about the Lions tour as in the Rugby.... :p

I think she's talking about the Detroit Lions in American football. :lol:
06-22-2009, 10:01 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh

Question... have any of you lot watched the Lions tour so far? I havent had a chance to watch any of the games. Have i missed much?

They've looked good and only lost the first test by a few, so they've done better than I expected.

Try to get in position for the next test - this Saturday, should be a cracker.

Virgil - Detroit Lions? Where are they touring? ;)
06-22-2009, 10:45 PM
NikolaiI

Quote:

Originally Posted by Niamh

Question... have any of you lot watched the Lions tour so far? I havent had a chance to watch any of the games. Have i missed much?

You missed it! They played...sports.
06-22-2009, 10:53 PM
Niamh

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

They've looked good and only lost the first test by a few, so they've done better than I expected.

Try to get in position for the next test - this Saturday, should be a cracker.

Virgil - Detroit Lions? Where are they touring? ;)

Crap! I'm in work this saturday till 9pm...
06-23-2009, 04:09 AM
prendrelemick

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Comedian

Hello Gentlemen,

I've recently felled two trees and am now in the process of cleaning up the brush and logs. Soon, I'll split the wood with maul (not a motorized splitter) and create, with luck and some effort, a dandy wood pile.

Oh, the two trees: (1) Red oak and (1) quaking aspen, referred to as "poplar" in some areas.

I'll be taking photos to document my efforts.

I hope you were properly equipped. Red checked brushed cotten shirt, (open to the belly button,) blue jeans with braces, steel toecapped rigger boots, Mountie hat, red spotted kerchief round neck. (Tool belt optional). Hickory shafted felling axe.
06-24-2009, 03:46 PM
The Comedian

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

I hope you were properly equipped. Red checked brushed cotten shirt, (open to the belly button,) blue jeans with braces, steel toecapped rigger boots, Mountie hat, red spotted kerchief round neck. (Tool belt optional). Hickory shafted felling axe.

Ha! I only wish I had all the cool stuff. Unfortunately, my raiment consisted of an old tee-shirt, shorts, gym socks, old running shoes, and a baseball cap.

And while, I do hope to be able to fell trees with a lovely "hickory shafted felling axe" (double-bladed), my tool this time was modern: a simple chainsaw.
06-24-2009, 07:19 PM
jocky

Sorry I have not been online lately guys, you will not believe this, but I have been through a very traumatic time. My daughter just introduced me to her new boyfriend, ' This is Craig dad, he's a policeman. ' I looked at him and he looked at me, you know the look, it turned my flesh icy cold. I was going to offer him a nip from my prized bottle of Glen Morangie but gave him a warm lager instead. Athiest, Comedian, Prendrelmick, this is serious and I need good advice, or my days of freedom are numbered. :(
06-24-2009, 11:26 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Sorry I have not been online lately guys, you will not believe this, but I have been through a very traumatic time. My daughter just introduced me to her new boyfriend, ' This is Craig dad, he's a policeman. ' I looked at him and he looked at me, you know the look, it turned my flesh icy cold. I was going to offer him a nip from my prized bottle of Glen Morangie but gave him a warm lager instead. Athiest, Comedian, Prendrelmick, this is serious and I need good advice, or my days of freedom are numbered. :(

:lol:

I'd run for the hills while you still can!
06-25-2009, 06:47 AM
prendrelemick

:lol: Plead insanity!

Could be worse though, she could have brought home an Englishman.
06-25-2009, 10:17 AM
jocky

I'd run for the hills while you still can!
Athiest I cant, I am still barred from any piece of land over ten metres high. Does Canada have an extradition treaty with Scotland? :lol:

Plead insanity!:lol:

Unfortunately Prendrelmick, that is not a defence in Scottish law. It has long been recognized by the Scottish legal profession, de facto, that all Scots are insane!:lol:
Comedian, my liberty is in your hands now, I await your words of wisdom. :thumbs_up
06-25-2009, 11:47 AM
The Comedian

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Comedian, my liberty is in your hands now, I await your words of wisdom. :thumbs_up

jockey -- you need to get this guy fall-down drunk so as to induce memory loss. Then, upon his waking, tell him an elaborate story in which he commits copious shameful acts, then promise him that you "won't tell." This, according to my theory, would make this fellow tremendously embarrassed and highly indebted to you and your "integrity."

After this, you will have both him and the situation comfortably in the bag!
06-25-2009, 01:25 PM
jocky

Comedian that is the sage advice I was longing for. Luckily, I do not need to put your plan into effect. It seems the officer in question has met a premature end. Apparently he fell down a manhole in the dark, while carrying out his constabulary duties. There is some talk that a shadowy figure was earlier spotted fleeing the scene with a manhole cover tucked under his arm, but this is all speculation. My daughter is inconsolable and, for some reason , beyond my comprehension, she is not speaking to me. Your delightfully devious plan, however, will come in very handy in the future. :)
06-26-2009, 07:34 PM
jocky

This thread is strangely quiet tonight, nobody's died have they?
06-26-2009, 08:25 PM
NikolaiI

No they are passed out on cold ale.
06-26-2009, 08:39 PM
Stargazer86

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

This thread is strangely quiet tonight, nobody's died have they?

We were all subpeonaed in the suspicious disappearance of a Scottish police officer
06-26-2009, 09:38 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

This thread is strangely quiet tonight, nobody's died have they?

Yeah, Farrah Fawcett. Coming as it did just after David Carradine, I am in mourning.

Even Whacko snuffing it couldn't cheer me up.
06-27-2009, 03:45 AM
prendrelemick

WARNING! looking directly at her teeth could damage the eyes. Always wear eye protection.

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7...ah-fawcett.jpg

This was THE poster to have on your wall in the 70's.

You can almost feel the Californian sun beating down.
06-27-2009, 04:37 AM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

This was THE poster to have on your wall in the 70's.

You can almost feel the Californian sun beating down.

She had teeth?
06-27-2009, 06:17 AM
prendrelemick

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Comedian that is the sage advice I was longing for. Luckily, I do not need to put your plan into effect. It seems the officer in question has met a premature end. Apparently he fell down a manhole in the dark, while carrying out his constabulary duties. There is some talk that a shadowy figure was earlier spotted fleeing the scene with a manhole cover tucked under his arm, but this is all speculation. My daughter is inconsolable and, for some reason , beyond my comprehension, she is not speaking to me. Your delightfully devious plan, however, will come in very handy in the future. :)

Fell down a hole eh?

I bet the police are looking into it.
06-27-2009, 07:55 AM
jocky

Athiest, :lol::lol::lol: Farrah Fawcet's contribution to male wellbeing was enormous, she had a couple of monumental assets. Not quite sure about David Carradine though. Who is that other guy you mentioned? :)

Prendrelmick :lol::lol::lol: Hope thats not a copy of that poster thats been hanging on your bedroom wall since 1970. ;) Another thing, what is going to win the Northumberland Plate at Newcastle today? :)
06-27-2009, 05:33 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Not quite sure about David Carradine though.

David Carradine? Kung Fu the legendary TV series - a bizarre and outstandingly good mix of Shaolin kung fu in the best tradition of Bruce Lee combined with a high-quality 1970's Western, a la Bonanza.

If you're too young to have seen it, find DVDs and watch.

Best TV program ever.

By a margin.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Another thing, what is going to win the Northumberland Plate at Newcastle today? :)

Ah, another gambler!

I take it you were not at Ascot last week?
06-27-2009, 05:52 PM
Michael T

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

David Carradine? Kung Fu the legendary TV series - a bizarre and outstandingly good mix of Shaolin kung fu in the best tradition of Bruce Lee combined with a high-quality 1970's Western, a la Bonanza.

If you're too young to have seen it, find DVDs and watch.

Best TV program ever.

By a margin.

Ah... Grasshopper! :D

http://i.current.com/images/asset/89.../phpEuxd8q.jpg

I agree Atheist, very cool.

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