A Short Collection of Trashy Poems

I suspect we're meant to infer a sexual encounter here and though I can't decode the subtext, I love the seeming artlessness of it, the spontaneity.

Like Prince said, this reader likes how it just seems to pop out of nowhere and bloom into a poem. Good read Queen Jane.








J

I think no one would envy being in the box. I think this has more to do with the way of going. That could be envied. Perhaps a slight modification, like something implying fast and painless, could apply.

Hi Haunted, your latest offering would seem to possess an erotic subtext. It takes some skill to convey so much in so few sparse lines. it's very effective and a pleasing read.

Live and be well - H

I just have to agree with the praise above. It's always a pleasure to read one of your poems, and this one turns out very effective in its simplicity. How is it you always manage to say so much more between the lines than with the sparse words you use?

Prince, thanks so much for your comment. And you are very kind to word "seeming artlessness". But "seeming" or not, I fall short in the art of descriptions I find in other people's work. But then I'm a minimalist and pleased that you like the off the cuff spontaneity.

Jack, you said it so eloquently in your comments. In fact I too was surprised it ended up the way it did and worked. Jane says thank you!

cafolini, welcome to Litnet. I'm grateful for your thoughtful comment.

Hawk, I equally enjoy your short and sweet comment!

Dieter, funny you said that because I admire your skill in delighting us with extensive and engaging poems. To answer your question, I'm a simple person with very simple thoughts :D

a day after the nuclear war


my eyelids glued shut
from dried acid rain
that earlier poured out
of my eyes

I see nothing
hear nothing
though I can still feel

red
...raw
my heart fell out
I’m just a cavity
I can't move

I won't survive
or do I want to

because it’s my own fault
I started it

the first fight
is the most wrenching

This poem has a direct simplicity about it that is very effective. There is a danger though, that it can be read as the introspective wail of someone wallowing in self-pity, so if that's what you were going for then you've nailed it. It's certainly emotional.

Not sure if, 'nuclear war' is intended ironically or not, though it could be, given that nuclear war has global connotations and this poem is all about one person's reaction after what was probably a fairly trivial "first" argument. Of course, if the argument was between the premiers of two nuclear superpowers, then in could, just concievably, lead to one - lol.

Live and be well - H

Oh yes, those first fights are often the most wrenching, as they perhaps signal the end of the halcyon period of the beginning of a relationship. It has always been my belief that a first argument bears close examination as, whatever the surface issue has been, it may be symbolic of deeper issues previously not addressed.

Taut poem!

I like the simplicity of this, and the space on either side given for wondering. It's curious how the stupid fights linger, and after the final break up the things you remember the most, while the good times are just a long forgotten fairytale you don't have the spare energy to revisit. Put like this with the narrator admitting guilt, gives it a raw acid turn, one which speaks volumes. Should be more poems and stories about personal fallibility.

Thank you Hawk, Prince and XQZ.

Hawk, it's indeed introspective wail but minus self-pity. Nuclear war is an analogy to how annihilating first fights are, and for the person it's their whole universe that's destroyed. Yes, the subject of the fight could be seen as "trivial" but the implications are often more serious.

Prince, we are on the same page. Worse yet, the first fight can also be the last.

XQZ, well said. I think it's self preservation that we remember the bad stuff to prevent from going back and making the same mistakes all over again.

Interesting poem. I especially like the desciption of your eyes

Thanks Delta, glad the description captured it for you.

hello long lost haunted. You still have it, great choice of subject. The first fight where the honeymoon ends and realty kicks in. We are all probably best off alone and of course we always really are. Thought provoking and a reminder of what I have been missing whilst absent from here x

hello homecoming Jerry. Thanks for your kind comment. I see that you haven't lost your cynical and pessimistic views of the human condition, thank gawd. Looking forward to more JB writing. x