Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

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06-17-2009, 09:09 PM
just mercedes

Quote:

Originally Posted by Virgil

Have you tried a statue of a owl, one of trhose plastic things? Someone who had a similar problem tried it and told me it worked for a while. Then the woodpeckers realized it didn't move and felt comfortable going back. It might get you some relief and perhaps if you moved it around you might be able to fake them into thinking it's real.

I used a plastic kite shaped like a hawk, strung between house and sheds - it works on most birds, but woodpeckers are not native here.
06-18-2009, 02:02 AM
imthefoolonthehill

*shrug.

My little warning seems to be working.

We'll see if it lasts. If not, maybe plastic owls will adorn my roof.
06-18-2009, 06:59 AM
prendrelemick

'Ay up Jockey. The Bay City Rollers are looking good on your avatar:D
06-18-2009, 08:54 AM
The Comedian

I'm building a small post/timber fence to edge my yard from woods it boarders. Pictures to come!
06-18-2009, 08:59 AM
jocky

Prendrelmick that was way below the belt. My son in law is from Yorkshire and I have informed him to form a posse right away. There will be no hiding place for you, even in the darkest dales of Yorkshire. Athiest, dont you worry about old Jocky. I know they will be '' knitting their brows like the gaithering storm '' but my survival skills are sharply honed.
06-18-2009, 03:13 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by imthefoolonthehill

*shrug.

My little warning seems to be working.

We'll see if it lasts. If not, maybe plastic owls will adorn my roof.

Yes, birds aren't as dumb as we think. When fishing, we often get pagued by muttonbirds which dive down and grab the bait after the line is cast. Killing one and leaving it floating keeps the rest away.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Prendrelmick that was way below the belt. My son in law is from Yorkshire and I have informed him to form a posse right away. There will be no hiding place for you, even in the darkest dales of Yorkshire. Athiest, dont you worry about old Jocky. I know they will be '' knitting their brows like the gaithering storm '' but my survival skills are sharply honed.

:D
06-18-2009, 04:39 PM
Stargazer86

Quote:

Originally Posted by Virgil

Urrgh. Why is it that all hot topics have to do with allowing people to perform the lowest of behavior? And it always seems to be, I wouldn't do it, but others have the right to.

Good news is no news and bad news is best...or however the saying goes.

Where's your avatar, Virgil?

Comedian- How's that fence coming along? Are you doing it by yourself?
06-18-2009, 05:31 PM
Niamh

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

You know why women have smaller feet than men, its pretty obvious really, so they can get nearer to the kitchen sink. Scottish beer, of course, is far superior to that American Duff. Well its time to go as I can hear the Amazon's jungle drums beating. If your courageous experiment prospers you will hear from me again, however, I feel that female retribution is swiftly winging its way to you. Best wishes from your fairweather pal, Jocky.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

I take it you have a deep hidey-hole somewhere stocked with enough food to last about a year of siege after that!

You have been warned Jocky! ;) better go crawl into that hole... :p
06-18-2009, 07:24 PM
Virgil

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stargazer86

Good news is no news and bad news is best...or however the saying goes.

Where's your avatar, Virgil?

Oh I had changed it and had an issue and had to go back to my regular one.
06-18-2009, 08:07 PM
jocky

Crawling now Niahm!
06-18-2009, 08:15 PM
Scheherazade

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Yes, birds aren't as dumb as we think. When fishing, we often get pagued by muttonbirds which dive down and grab the bait after the line is cast. Killing one and leaving it floating keeps the rest away.

Is this literal or metaphorical?

:p
06-18-2009, 08:26 PM
Niamh

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Crawling now Niahm!

good Jocky! :p
06-18-2009, 09:14 PM
jocky

For the 10001st time Scheherarzade this is a man only thread. Can you not allow us to speak rubbish in our own inimitable fashion? If you dont stop this I am going to tell Athiest and then you will be in big trouble. '' Augustus ruled the world, but Livia ruled Augustus '' How depressing was that?
06-19-2009, 02:32 AM
prendrelemick

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Comedian

I'm building a small post/timber fence to edge my yard from woods it boarders. Pictures to come!

:idea: Mmm we need something similar round this club, something to divert those pesky birds. Perhaps built out of valances, cushions, soft furnishings. and shoes.
06-19-2009, 03:28 AM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

:idea: Mmm we need something similar round this club, something to divert those pesky birds. Perhaps built out of valances, cushions, soft furnishings. and shoes.

No, we'll just get someone to open a shop next door and they'll never bother.
06-19-2009, 03:54 AM
Michael T

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

:idea: Mmm we need something similar round this club, something to divert those pesky birds. Perhaps built out of valances, cushions, soft furnishings. and shoes.

Someone should start an 'All men are b******s' thread. That would keep them occupied for a while. ;)
06-19-2009, 05:28 AM
prendrelemick

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael T

Someone should start an 'All men are b******s' thread. That would keep them occupied for a while. ;)

:lol::lol::lol::lol: perfect!
06-19-2009, 09:59 AM
jocky

Ladies have you heard? Niamh is holding an Anne Summers party, if you leave now you should make it in time. Well guys that should give us a few hours peace. You should have seen the salmon I caught the other day, it was a whopper!
06-19-2009, 11:13 AM
Niamh

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Ladies have you heard? Niamh is holding an Anne Summers party, if you leave now you should make it in time. Well guys that should give us a few hours peace. You should have seen the salmon I caught the other day, it was a whopper!

Ann Summers party? you want me to call the Avon lady while i'm at it too? She said you were a regular customer. ;)
06-19-2009, 11:59 AM
jocky

Absolutely Niamh, they do a wonderful line in athlete's foot cream, dont you think? :)
06-19-2009, 01:57 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by Michael T

Someone should start an 'All men are b******s' thread. That would keep them occupied for a while. ;)

But they know that anyway.

Plus, I'd object; I'm not a B*, I'm an arrogant B*.

:D

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

You should have seen the salmon I caught the other day, it was a whopper!

Picture, please.

Smoked salmon almost makes me believe in god.
06-19-2009, 02:19 PM
The Comedian

Hello blokes, men, roughnecks, and gents --

I've a few images to share with you. As I briefly posted earlier, I was building a post/beam fence to edge my yard from the woods which it boarders. I've completed the project and wanted to share the results with you here.

Here's the fence -- made with treated landscape timbers and secured with galvanized bolts:

http://i326.photobucket.com/albums/k...r/DSC01559.jpg

I took great pride in my work -- Nice and level:

http://i326.photobucket.com/albums/k...r/DSC01561.jpg

My tools, the cordless drill is featured:

http://i326.photobucket.com/albums/k...r/DSC01563.jpg

Afterward, the chief builder and architect was treated to some fitting rewards:

http://i326.photobucket.com/albums/k...r/DSC01562.jpg

Cheers!
06-19-2009, 02:41 PM
Emil Miller

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Comedian

Hello blokes, men, roughnecks, and gents --

I've a few images to share with you. As I briefly posted earlier, I was building a post/beam fence to edge my yard from the woods which it boarders. I've completed the project and wanted to share the results with you here.

Here's the fence -- made with treated landscape timbers and secured with galvanized bolts:

I took great pride in my work -- Nice and level:

My tools, the cordless drill is featured:

Afterward, the chief builder and architect was treated to some fitting rewards:

Cheers!

You will probably get some of the women wanting you to make them one now.
06-19-2009, 04:37 PM
jocky

Picture, please.

Smoked salmon almost makes me believe in god.[/QUOTE]

Athiest, your never going to believe this, the batteries in my camera went, but take my word for it, this was a Prince among salmon.
06-19-2009, 04:42 PM
Niamh

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brian Bean

You will probably get some of the women wanting you to make them one now.

Not at all! I happen to be nifty with a drill! :p sawing not so nifty...

Thats a pretty impressive fence! well done Comedian! But Miller Light? seriously?
06-19-2009, 04:57 PM
jocky

Comedian, in the wonders of architecture that fence is right up there with the best. Perhaps the women do not appreciate the effort that went into this labour of love, but Jocky recognises genius when he sees it. Cant wait till you build that greenhouse!
06-19-2009, 05:08 PM
Virgil

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Comedian

Hello blokes, men, roughnecks, and gents --

I've a few images to share with you. As I briefly posted earlier, I was building a post/beam fence to edge my yard from the woods which it boarders. I've completed the project and wanted to share the results with you here.

Here's the fence -- made with treated landscape timbers and secured with galvanized bolts:

I took great pride in my work -- Nice and level:

My tools, the cordless drill is featured:

Afterward, the chief builder and architect was treated to some fitting rewards:

http://i326.photobucket.com/albums/k...r/DSC01562.jpg

Cheers!

Nice fence Comedian and nice touch with the cigar. :D Looks like you did a nice job. What part of the country do you live if you don't mind me asking?
06-19-2009, 05:13 PM
alexar

That fence has a certain rough-hewn magic. It is a man's fence. The fence of a man. It's a he-fence. God I love it. Not in that way.
06-19-2009, 08:03 PM
Stargazer86

Comedian- Very nice fence

Those woods where you live are GORGEOUS!

But yeah...Miller light? I'm totally with Niamh on that one
The only acceptable American beer is Sam Adams imo :D
06-19-2009, 08:06 PM
The Comedian

Quote:

That fence has a certain rough-hewn magic. It is a man's fence. The fence of a man. It's a he-fence. God I love it.

-- alexar: thanks for noticin'. I must admit that were it not for my two lovely children, that fence would be my proudest creation.

Quote:

That's a pretty impressive fence! well done Comedian! But Miller Light? seriously?

--Niamh: Thanks. I like the fence too. :) And the beer. . .well, I like to drink beer that suits my mood. A warm tavern on a cold winter day, give me hardy ale or stout. A hot summer day after some hard labor & a handful of Doritos (not shown in the pictures) calls for Miller Lite.

Quote:

Comedian, in the wonders of architecture that fence is right up there with the best. Perhaps the women do not appreciate the effort that went into this labour of love, but Jocky recognises genius when he sees it.

-- jocky: truer words have yet to be spoken. :)
06-20-2009, 12:23 AM
jocky

You will never believe this, but it is as true as I am sitting over this computer. The other night I was looking at the stars and thinking how lucky I was, when all a of sudden this disembodied voice started calling......Jocky...... Jocky, I realised instantly it was God calling me home, what is it you want father? Will you **** off and put Athiest on the line, I have got a big score to settle with him.
06-20-2009, 12:47 AM
qimissung

First, Comedian, may I compliment you on your beautiful fence? Maybe THAT'S what Wallace Stevens meant in that poem he wrote-what was that? "Anecdote of the Jar"?

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

You will never believe this, but it is as true as I am sitting over this computer. The other night I was looking at the stars and thinking how lucky I was, when all a of sudden this disembodied voice started calling......Jocky...... Jocky, I realised instantly it was God calling me home, what is it you want father? Will you **** off and put Athiest on the line, I have got a big score to settle with him.

Second, :lol:
06-20-2009, 01:06 AM
jocky

Gimissung, where did you come from? This is a blokes only thread. Typical woman, you just cant see us having our little moment of pleasure. Athiest I hope you are man enough to deal with this unwanted intrusions. Stand up to them and we will all be right behind you, wont we guys? All right I cant help it, dont do it Jocky! Is that where Dubya comes from? Oh the yellow rose of Texas......Duh!
06-20-2009, 01:27 AM
Madhuri

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Stand up to them and we will all be right behind you, wont we guys?

maybe, except, Brian, he loves women :p ;) :D
06-20-2009, 01:50 AM
jocky

Madhuri, that was a sneaky one. the way to connect with women is to set up a man only post. Athiest you know what your about, you have got to help me I am about to jump off Wigan Pier. : )

Athiest, I know I can be a pain but I am a big Orwell fan as well. Simon Schama in his History of Britain, does a wonderful comparison between the two Winstons. Dont know if you have seen it but, if not I will try to post it to you. Personally speaking, I think his social commentaries, i.e. The Road To Wigan Pier, are just as important as his novels, he represents all that is good in our country, and yes you have guessed it, he is an athiest.
06-20-2009, 03:28 AM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Comedian

Hello blokes, men, roughnecks, and gents

Fantastic!

What a nice spot you live in as well.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Athiest, your never going to believe this, the batteries in my camera went, but take my word for it, this was a Prince among salmon.

Weight?

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Will you **** off and put Athiest on the line, I have got a big score to settle with him.

Haha! I have a few mates at a christian forum who think like that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Athiest, I know I can be a pain but I am a big Orwell fan as well. Simon Schama in his History of Britain, does a wonderful comparison between the two Winstons. Dont know if you have seen it but, if not I will try to post it to you. Personally speaking, I think his social commentaries, i.e. The Road To Wigan Pier, are just as important as his novels, he represents all that is good in our country, and yes you have guessed it, he is an athiest.

Quite right all round. (Except for the pain bit! :) )

I agree with you on the importance of his works, as well. While I like 1984 as a story, it's no match for Road, Homage P&L and his essays. That's where Orwell's heart was.

If you haven't read A Clergyman's Daughter, find a copy and read what Warburton says on the subject.
06-20-2009, 07:38 AM
Emil Miller

Quote:

Originally Posted by Madhuri

maybe, except, Brian, he loves women :p ;) :D

In their place ( I think you ladies know where that is ) I do, but all things are
relative, as the following quote indicates. I haven't given the complete stanza because I didn't want the coffee club girls to get the wrong idea.

Oh woman! in our hours of ease
Uncertain, coy, and hard to please,
And variable as the shade
By the light quivering aspen made
06-20-2009, 06:08 PM
jocky

Athiest, I have to come clean about the salmon. It was quite difficult to estimate the weight. This may have something to do with the fact it was in a can. :)
06-20-2009, 06:18 PM
Scheherazade

At least tell us whether it was a 100, 200 or 400 gr tin!

:p
06-20-2009, 06:32 PM
jocky

Scheherazade, without trying to play this down, this may in fact be the biggest can ever recorded. My mates said it could have fed a small country for weeks. :)

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