Nice going jajude! A truly worthy opponent!
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Nice going jajude! A truly worthy opponent!
Thanks, and I appreciate your comment Muse.
Since I just moved this week to another country let's have a topic regarding that. We'll call it "moving" or "relocation" or something.
Hope you enjoy China, jajdude! Here's something for the contest.
Home
Another year, another life
Across the sea and soon a wife:
The days consume her patiently.
Would things have been much better there?
A love was lost in springtime where
That war forced them to flee.
The trees are different in this park,
Still stars above enchant the dark.
He reaches for her hand.
So poverty keeps things the same?
There's no one near to focus blame.
She's home now in this land.
i heard a singing sage say
'the road cures all' or at least
it is the magic pill
that tires on pavement heal
better than laughter
tames ills faster than the songs he
hears echoing from the streetlight rhythmic
and highway beat, the radio fighting
rain song on the windshield desperate
to make contact.
Still the passion of the path is
the man's solution,
absolution in the turning of the keys
then the rotating mile dials before
the unavoidable surprise
trip home.
I sometimes wonder if death
Is more than end of life
Simply a relocation to somewhere unknown
Not just a quiet grave on the hill
But a brand new experience
New adventures, new places to see
Perhaps the secrets of life yet to be revealed
At one's final relocation
with a final desperate lunge
she leaps into the wind
tears herself from the earth
(bare frayed roots
sway in the dusty wind
retreat from the sun)
and moves elsewhere.
Here's my entry:
Emphasis on the Tock
Spaces stand still,
And we revolve
Round and around
In-lines and tick-tocks.
Verb: "venues in time";
"movement"; touche.
Tonight until
Noon anon --
I will never
Be me again.
So, anyway, I'm a terrible judge. I like all your work everyone.
"YesNo "
Your turn
and I have no idea what you said
haha
This line in particular though struck a chord:
"The trees are different in this park"
Thanks, jajdude! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by jajdude
I re-read my submission to see if it still made sense, at least, to me. Hmmm. Not sure. It's getting late. What was I trying to say anyway?
Here's the new subject because the tragedy in Japan is on my mind:
Tsunami
Deadline: 3 weeks from now, April 2nd
YesNo
I reckon yours was one of your best. Perhaps? But it is all subjective I guess.
I'll never forget the day
the wave came for us.
The dry just packed up
and migrated north;
seems doubtful
if it will return
again,
for now
the whole world is wet
and heavy
with its soggy burden.
The wave was angry;
I think it hated us.
It was a disease, you see,
for one moment
we had our pretty ocean,
so cool and blue,
but the water got sick
turned gray
and shrivelled up,
and when it swelled
broke
crashed
I'd swear I heard it roar
as it hurled water at us,
agonized with fury
unable to stop
its explosion.
My mother screamed
my sister cried
but I just sat
at my seat by the window
watching the wave
watching it choke the streets
the people
and waiting
waiting
as it approached.
Love Like Water
There are breathless
heartbreaking moments
unspeakable; indeniable
moments
in which the whole
of your love
can be contained
within a single
drop of rain
and it is beautiful
so fragile,
yet so easily
may it fall,
disperse; splatter
before dissipating
fading, without
a trace.
And than suddenly
unexpectedly
without question
your love is seismic
like a tidal wave
rolling over me,
with crushing force,
smothering; drowning,
sending out shockwaves,
as the full of your weight
bares down upon me
with a desnity
that is unmovable
reckless
leaving me within
your wake.
In the aftermath
I am left,
exhausted; exhilarated,
with bone crushing
ecstasy
and the tremors
proceed to ripple through me,
motionless I await
upon your devastated shores,
and than your love
becomes a river
and it flows
steady
gently
but unceasing
unrelenting,
but there
always moving
away from me
and towards me
simultaneously.
Wonderful imagery in both poems.
I especially liked the line "the dry just packed up and migrated north"
In the second poem, i liked the way the allegory for love smoothly changes from a tidal wave possibly wreaking destruction to a perennial river
The awe inspiring “ice-water” mountain towers above us,
Majestic in its stillness and yet zipping across the “vast” semi-frozen oceanic wastes,
The spirit of the "dancing nataraja" in the form of a goddess
Awe inspiring and yet maternal
The pilgrims climb the terraced steps
Some light lamps along the way,
Singing songs of love, worship …
moving glass/ice sculptures
Mirrors all around that seem to hold the structure up
Like Messages in a floating bottle / glass ship
Yet still keeping the warmth of the spirit within, wine like
They reach the pinnacle
And time stands still
There is a hushed silence
Embraces all around
The snake hood shelters in both directions
The sun is setting
The shore is visible in the distance
Both Mohammed (and his companions !!) and the mountain have crossed the bar
I would like to stress that the "ice-water" mountain retains its integrity and does not become a breaker !!