Beauty

I don't feel belittled, just be careful. Why is experianced sex more meaningful? I thought it would be most meaningful with someone you love reagardless of sexual experiance.

Cassandra,

What do you mean by meaningful?

Good question. Kind of a deep physical mental rightness? I can't really explain. i often know what I mean in feeleings(?) but find it hard to say in english, words can be very limiting.

Well quite frankly, if you get the best lay of your life, I rckon that probably fits the bill of <Kind of a deep physical mental rightness?>

But it's surely it's just sex then. Meaningful I guess means deep impact lasting relationship to me. Obviously it's different for you and I can repect that even if we can't agree or really understand each other. I can respect that your views just what is important for you and I is completely different.

Do you think you can have a deep impact lasting relationship (of the marriage kind) without sex?

Don't you think that there is never a situation where something is just sex? It appears to me that there is a huge gap between 'just sex' and a 'totally loving relationship', and that most of us lie somewhere in between.

I would go so far as to say that many people who think they have a 'totally loving relationship' would not know how to evaluate such a thing. It would just be some temporary feeling that happens with the frequency to suggest 'totally loving relationship'.

I think that you possibly could but it could be hard. There is a huge gap between just sex and totally loving relationship and a lot do lie in between but I would never allow myself do so. I believe sex is part of a totally loving relationship (assuming talking partners here not other relationships) and a totally loving relationship should be the foundation of sex. I agree that many people cannot allways evaluate relationships otherwise why divorce, but you never know that until afterwards, if you think you're in a loving realationship then for the duration isn't it like being in one.

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Originally posted by atiguhya padma
Do you think you can have a deep impact lasting relationship (of the marriage kind) without sex?

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I definitely couldn't. And I think that it would be pretty damn hard for any other person. But it would still be possible (albeit very unlikely).

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Originally posted by atiguhya padma
Don't you think that there is never a situation where something is just sex? It appears to me that there is a huge gap between 'just sex' and a 'totally loving relationship', and that most of us lie somewhere in between.

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I agree 100% (unless of course you're paying for sex).

Crisaor,

we agree on something. That's quite.... remarkable!:)

Take these all with a grain of salt because I can't remember the exact format or percentages of the study. I do recall that it was a very large sample--several thousand--and the studies were carried out by universities with no religious affiliations:
(1) Couples that co-habitated before marriage showed a fifty percent higher divorce rate than couples that did not.
(2) Couples that were virgins before marriage reported a 30% higher rate of satisfaction with their sex lives.
(3) Females that are in marriages where both partners were virgins before marriage report a 33% higher frequency of orgasm than so-called couples with previous "experience."

Again, I don't remember the exact percentages, but these are in the ballpark. And just for the record since this is a religious forum and the majority of the discussions seem to revolve around Christianity, lets not forget that Christ told the woman at the well that she had five husbands--you mate, then you're married, at least that what God says happens. Two become one.

wastinaway,

my response to your 3 points is as follows:

1) probably because if someone has been co-habiting for a significant period of time, marriage doesn't really add anything more to their relationship. Yet, if that person has undertaken marriage vows after co-habiting for some time, then I presume they will think that marriage does add value. Therefore, marriage becomes disappointing.

2) and 3) if someone has no experience of sex prior to marriage, they have nothing to compare their current sex life with. This may well mean that they will be happy with what they've got. Also, I think nowadays, the marriage of two virgins is a pretty much extreme situation. It is most likely to occur between religious couples. Their faith will put an extra emphasis on them staying together, no matter what their marriage is like.

I think it is interesting the way our society puts so much emphasis on staying together. I've heard people talk about splitting up, as if living alone is some kind of hell. Even after only a few weeks together.

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Originally Posted by ;4655

Why do so many people think that looking at the beauty of a woman is lustful? Why cant you just look at what God has given you, and the rest of the world?

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Not at all. This idea of lustiness is our invention and see in nature there is nothing called lust. A thing of beauty is something worthy of beholding and it is for beholders that beauty exists or it has no meaning.

It is the church or some gurus or popes define it that way. It is indeed virtuous to see a thing of beauty. It is the onlooker who values the beauty of a woman. Otherwise her beauty will not be priced at all.