Good story, Yes/No! It seems that only Señor Castille survived the fight.
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Good story, Yes/No! It seems that only Señor Castille survived the fight.
He and his team survived. His adversary was completely ruined. At least that is the simplistic way my imagination saw the story. Of course, he lost his family. Thanks, Danik!
There is my story:
The Invasion
At first, nobody noticed them. Maybe there was slightly more dust than usual.
The invisible enemies attacked by night. First, they came in small groups, but the groups multiplied.
Their warriors infested heads, bodies; they hid in cupboards and clothes. Once they were there, there was not getting rid of them.
They feasted on the blood of beasts and humans. They were resisted every attempt of extermination.
Their victims died one by one out of panic.
But what the mites didn´t know: once their food hosts disappeared…
Nice one, Danik! Too much victory leads to defeat.
Now that there is one entry, I will wait a week to see if any one else wants to add a story to this contest. The winner gets to set a new theme (or leave it open) and judge the next contest.
Deadline: Monday evening, November 20th.
The deadline has arrived. Congratulations, Danik! You won!
Lol! Rather a melancholy victory.
Well, anyway, let´s put up a new promp.
The next theme is "Thanksgiving".
Dr Roquetscienski made the final tweak to his program that would send him back into time to get even for the scorn his peers indelicately expressed with smirks and silence. He sat at the control panel in his basement. He took a deep breath and pressed Enter.
“Are you sure?” appeared on the monitor.
He pressed the Yes button and waited. The machined hummed. The lights blinked. Nothing happened. What convinced him the experiment failed, again, was hearing Martha calling from the kitchen. “Oh, Bobbie! Bobbie! It’s garbage day! Time to take out the garbage. Give me a G! G! Give me an A! A! Give me an R! R! Give me a--uh?--B! B! Give me an A! A! Give me a G! G! Give me an E! E! What’s that spell? Garbage! What’s that spell? Garbage!”
Robert turned off the machine and walked up the basement stairs. He looked into his wife’s blue-green eyes and realized two things.
First, in spite of everything, Martha had no contempt for him. He wondered about her sanity because of that.
Second, one thing he could do right, right now, was take out the garbage and so he did.
Coming back inside he was thankful for a third thing. He was glad his machine didn’t work. If it had, the damage to Martha would have been unpredictable.
Good story, specially as the reasons for thankfulness aren´t so usual. This is not the first time Dr Roquetscienski succors the short story threads.
Thanks, Danik! I've used Robert Roquetscienski and his wife Martha before even having him tinkering in the basement. This is the first time he's shown much empathy toward her.
As a way to keep the thread active, here is my story accepted as story 035 of Christopher Fielden's "Ville's Preposterously Placed Prepositions Writing Challenge": http://www.christopherfielden.com/wr...-challenge.php
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Two Guys Who Wouldn’t Settle Down
Aliens beamed Paul up. He wondered why they left his girlfriend below? She’ll find another. Then warp speed kicked in. It always kicked something in.
Elsewhere Jack’s time machine was acting up. He watched the locals gather around. They never saw a human before. Besides something tasty doesn’t pop into one’s universe every day and that was all they were thinking of.
Paul’s girlfriend, to her credit, but against her good judgment, reported him “beamed up”.
Jack hadn’t had a decent girlfriend in a dozen gravitational entanglements to worry about. So no one bothered wasting any space-time getting him back.
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The challenge had some requirements. (1) Maximum word count: 100 (2) Sentences should end with prepositions.
Lol!Nice story about not so nice fates!I like this kind of challenge. I´l try to make up a story myself.
One only has to be if they start offering books, cups with your story on it, writer certificates and so on...against payment of course.
Thanks, Danik! Fielden's challenges are ways for writers to get a publication credit if they are interested in that. He does plan to publish all of these in book form once he gets enough entries. He also publishes lists of competitions for fiction and writing advice: http://www.christopherfielden.com/sh...riting-advice/
I like the humor in his stories.
I love the stories of Charli from Carrot Ranch. He published your story about Fred. But I don´t think he intends to publish a book. Seems to be a guy that wanders around with his dogs and settles down in nature (even in winter).
Charli Mills is a female writer. She published an anthology of their 99-word stories although I only recently started submitted stories there. If they do another anthology next year, I might have a chance of getting in that one. She is more selective than Christopher Fielden so I might not make it. All you have to do for Fielden's challenges is follow the rules and he will accept the story. He does have a real competition called "To Hull and Back" which is very selective. Getting in that anthology would be nice.
I thought it was a man, because she likes roughing it. I like her own texts very much and what always wins me over is empathy for the animal world.
Anyway, if I was you I should try some new themes. You have got your sense of humor too. And two different challenges at hand now.
Empathy is good. Animals seem to be better at this than we are or maybe we are not as aware of our own empathy.
Here's a story I wrote for Charli Mill's current prompt word, "unicorn" with a requirement that it be exactly 99 words in length excluding the title. I post the story in the comments. Here's the link for anyone who might want to participate. https://carrotranch.com/2018/02/22/f...ion-challenge/
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Unicorn
Generally two of something balance better aesthetically and provide depth of experience, but I only had one horn growing out of the top of my head.
I wasn’t disabled or anything, but who would hire me? If you didn’t look at the horn, which was hard not to, I actually looked pretty good.
Kids bullied me because of the horn. I fought back. I did that a lot. I got real good at it. I mean it was fun. They sent me to the Riverland State Detention Facility and cut off my horn.
So, yeah, I was a unicorn.
Good story, though poor unicorn! I saw it in Carrot Ranch. There is also the prospect of a book.
They started compiling anthologies. It is too bad for that unicorn.
Congrats! I just got the link with the published stories.
By the way: I am going to send your page with the birds waiting for summer to a German acquaintance. They are freezing over there with -16º C or less. I hope you don´t mind.
I am glad you liked that page, Danik! The weather is perfect where I am. Who knows how long that will last.
There is another prompt at Carrot Ranch for an exactly 99-word story. There's one every week. The theme is "raven". https://carrotranch.com/2018/03/01/m...ion-challenge/
Here's my entry for this week.
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Raven Down
There are plenty of explanations for the same data but what Randy wanted was to understand it at all.
He watched a bunch of crows tussling in the air and got out his phone. When he realized that one of the crows was being picked on lethally he switched the app to record video.
Aren’t birds supposed to be peaceful at least toward members of their own kind?
A select handful pecked the target repeatedly making sure its body could no longer move. Others flew about apparently guarding and watching.
Then it was over. Those who remained living departed.
Here's my entry for this week's 99-word Carrot Ranch prompt, balloon. https://carrotranch.com/2018/03/09/m...ion-challenge/
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BALLOON
He held his breath. What he thought would happen did not. The enemy came instead from the rear.
If he were alone he wouldn’t mind so much, but he mispositioned the others.
Were they the good guys he wouldn’t mind so much either, but he doubted if there were any good guys in this battle. This was alien home territory. They weren’t supposed to be there.
The others understood all this, too, as the fighting started.
His world was like a balloon. He wished it were yellow or blue. He wished he had steered it better.
Then it popped.
Good story, you manage well as usually that final twist which is meant to surprise or shock the reader. "The raven" was published, seems you are now a regular at Carrot Ranch. One thing that makes me think: you are usually optimistic in your poems but you give a pessimist turn to your nano stories.
I think stories call for some negativity to get a dramatic set up going, but I also think you are right that a positive approach can be taken and may be more pleasing to the reader. I've missed many of the Carrot Ranch prompts. Maybe longer stories can come out of them. I'll try to make the next one positive.
This was just a comment, Yes/No. I like positive stories but very often I feel that to be real and convincing a story has to take a negative turn. Think, for example of the impact of a story like "A rose for Emily" by Faulkner.
I haven't read that Faulkner story. I found it online.
The prompt this week is "carrot cake". https://carrotranch.com/2018/03/16/m...ion-challenge/
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Carrot Cake
He reminded her of the strudel she used to make. He wanted to make it himself but he didn’t know how. Could she teach him?
She asked him about that girl he liked. He said her name was Shirley. “What happened to her?”
“There she is.”
“Ah! She’s grown!”
“And we have children. Look.” He pointed to two girls too old for innocence, too young to be on their own in the doorway.
“How beautiful! I don’t know if I remember how to make that carrot cake.”
“That’s alright.”
“What was that girl’s name again?”
“It’s Shirley.”
“How beautiful!”
Nice story, Yes/No. One of your stories I like most is the one about the family strudel. But I think it has got more than 99 words.
Yes, that one was a bit longer and a haibun. Thanks, Danik!
The theme this week for the exactly 99-word stories excluding title at Carrot Ranch is "follow your dreams". https://carrotranch.com/2018/03/23/m...ion-challenge/
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Follow Your Dreams
Scorn them with your thoughts. It’s safe. No one knows.
No one believes thoughts can kill. No one believes empaths exist. No one thinks they can know another’s hate. If their hearts break, it’s their own hearts’ failure. If they can no longer forgive, that’s better.
Janet’s dream guardians told her to follow them, “Smile. Sit tall. Take deep, slow breaths. Play your dream songs.”
Janet put on her headphones. She set the player to keep repeating the sacred love songs.
When the hate came, the empath and her dreams were ready. Until they fell, they mirrored love back.
Interesting story. Where is Janet?Is she an ET or Android?
Janet is a human with an exceptionally high level of empathy. The "empath" does suggest a science fiction or fantasy character I suppose.
Oh, I see. An empath is an empathic character.I am not familiar with science fiction.Quote:
Originally Posted by YesNo
There are weekly prompts at Carrot Ranch. This week it is about "fingers that fly": https://carrotranch.com/2018/03/30/m...ion-challenge/
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Flying Fingers
Faster than drawing a gun his fingers peppered the keyboard and hit “Enter”. Later he will wish he thought more, but now, oh, the rush! It was the perfect point, typos and grammar and all, and he wanted to make it before someone else did.
Later, second thoughts like snail mail arrived. Then third-thought packages containing arguments he should have considered punched him It occurred to him maybe someone else should have made that idiotic point.
Then it happened. Just when he thought it wouldn’t ever be over, it was over. No one cared anymore and neither did he.
Good story to the theme "flying fingers". There is always something unphatomable. What is over? The gush of inspiration?Quote:
Originally Posted by YesNo
I follow Carrot Ranch, so I get their mail. I haven´t had the time to write a story for it. If I do I´ll post it here to have your opinion.
Thanks, Danik! What's over is whatever the guy was worried about. No one cared about the "point" he made anymore. Interest in it was "over".
Then I was right. I thought it might be something more sinister.
Another Carrot Ranch prompt is up. The theme is "sun silly" or "spring fever". https://carrotranch.com/2018/04/05/a...flash-fiction/
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Sun Silly
“Wake up, kid! It’s that time of year when spring fever makes them run. They’ll soon all be sun silly. We don’t want to miss it.”
“Why do they run, Pa? There must be some scientific explanation for it. Don’t they have brains in their heads?”
“I don’t know why they run. They run. They’re stupid.”
“Yeah, but if we knew why they ran maybe we could encourage them to run more often?”
“Why would we want to do that?”
“So we don’t have to get up so early? So we can harvest them more than once a year?”
Who are they, Yes/No?
It´s nice that you are now participating regularly at Carrot Ranch. I follow them but didn´t have the time to write anything yet.
If I could change the name of this thread I would call it Writing Laboratory or something like that. It´s what it is now and you are keeping it alive.
"Writing Laboratory" sounds like a good name. I imagined the characters in my story to be aliens or demons hunting us while we were experiencing spring fever and having a good time. Based on the comments I received no one made that connection, which is fine. It doesn't make much sense.
Anyway, a new prompt came out yesterday: "bat" or "bat cave". Here's my new story. Hopefully it is not as confusing.
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BAT CAVE
“You look like someone kicked you out of your bat cave.”
“Me?” Brian was used to it.
“You look like you’d make sense if you had a brain in your bat head.”
Brian repositioned George to avoid bed sores. George was tired of making points that didn’t matter.
“Could you open the window and let in some bats?”
“Sure.” Brian went to the window and opened it wide enough for some imaginary bats to get through.
Talking to one of the them, George observed, “Brian isn’t as bad as he thinks he is.”
“You’re not half bad yourself, Georgie.”
Is George a toy?
Sometimes I get a bit confused too, Yes/No. You seem to take some things for granted. For example, in this case, that your reader knows, who George is or in some other story, that someone was mad. I think one of the difficulty of telling a story, specially a very short one is to know how much one must explain and how much imply.
George is an invalid and Brian is taking care of him. George's world is limited and he is bugging Brian about bats (because that is the Carrot Ranch prompt). I can see how it is confusing.
It's Thursday evening and a new Carrot Ranch prompt is up. This time it is Sinrin Yoku or "forest bathing" which is taking a walk in the forest to improve one's health mentally as well as physically. https://carrotranch.com/2018/04/19/a...ion-challenge/
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Shinrin Yoku
While forest bathing Michael saw her. He would say she wasn’t there except she was and then his breath grew deeper. He didn’t understand why he walked for almost a mile angry on this beautiful trail, in this mysterious quiet. The traffic had long ago turned to a hum and then it turned completely off. Why was he angry?
She said her name was Diana. She knew he didn’t understand what she meant. He was one of the smart ones caught in his head where robots were more real than people. And so she spoke more slowly, “Goddess Diana.”