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"Else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek
For that which thou hast heard me speak tonight.
Dost thou love me?
[Covers his lips with her fingers.]
O gentle Romeo,
If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully;
Or if thou think'st I am too quickly won,
I'll frown and be perverse, and say thee Nay."
"Forget that now, Odyesseus, we've got to make tracks." Odyesseus, simpering, pinched Clive on the cheek, then gaily skipped away into the night, beckoning Clive to follow.
"Go here do this, I am tired of your snivelling whiney personality. I think I shall skip my own direction sister and if you don't like it".....
Hark to my words, you may run in Xanadu like Alph the scared reiver.
Insidious and close, the night mist muted the sudden red flare that lit up
Clive's sinister face, and wailing sirens shocked him into action...
just as he had determined in his heart to turn the other direction to avoid being seen, why he knew not, Ody came shrieking over to him , his face a frozen sculpture of horror. Look he cried look at the ungodly.......
kitten! It must have mange, and fleas, too! What should we do?
Love it, clean it, and give it a bowl - preferably two stones' throws north of the fire!
Miouw, cried the kitten, if you throw stones at me I'll
not only talk, I'll sing 'Requiem for Evita' too!
Only an eyewitness could believe any of this!
pathetic it all seems but sadly true
Quite true, in fact!!!!!
Right, now that we all agree...let's hightail it outta here, c'mon kitty, hop on my shoulders...
Sit right here!
Talk to me!
Under the deodars they sat, deep in conversation, trimming their toenails, as only kittens and pensives can.
"Very nice, I'm impressed," said Ody, "now let's go get some coffee and sardines, eh"?
Worried? No, I'm not worried. I'm just thinking How can I get there in short time and be punctual?
Xebecs are swift, so he hurried off to find a xebec. Meantime ...
...young Master Gafford was out on patrol - citizen arrests and all that, you know!
Zigzagging off, Master Gafford and the Xebecs whistled Dixie.
Additional was their sponsor!
but that was before Additional realized they were nothing more than mad hatters clothed in dusty respectability.
Cheesed off by these disregards, ol' Conditional scootered to the next room to see if Additional was sitting by the window for him.
Distressed by the wheezing noise the scooter was making, Additional screeched in his odd high pitched voice "oil those gears, you ol' nincompoop!"
Eventually life settled down and Additional and Conditional married and had little additions and were very very happy.
Fortunately for the two of them, there were plenty of advantages to their philosophies of mediation, and this brought to them great buckets of small print to peruse while fishing.
"GIVE ME DAMN BREAK FROM THAT CRAZY PHILOSOPHY OF YOURS!!!!!", Additional shrieked into the ears of Condtional! After all, what can you expect after ten years of constant 'additionalizing' and perusing through the same philosophies at fishing?
"Have it your way," Additional cried as he stormed out the door, "My lawyer will send you the divorce papers..."
..."I would love to co-author with you!"
Just as Additional was finishing his sentence, Conditional rushed to the door and stood in his way, teary eyed, panting and whispering, "please, don't leave me. I love you."
"Kindly remove your sorry tears from my ankles, and let me hasten from this den of feet-wetting and ankle clamping and door-blocking and mismanagement of my time!" demanded Additional.
"Laudanum!" thought Conditional. She stumbled to the garden that she and Additional had planted together, immersing herself in the brilliant hues of the beckoning poppies.
"My Additional, my love, my life..." murmured Conditional, pressing the barrel of her husband's handgun that she had taken with her from the kitchen against her chest, "...at least I will end here, in our scarlet garden... you told me that its scarlet is for our love, and now without you, this scarlet can with my blood mingle." She fired.
"Noooooooooo!" resounded a cry.
Onto her still body Additional collapsed, maintaining that aweful and agonising cry. He felt her tears still warm on his cheek, "...what have I done?"
Poor guy! She thought when she saw him crying.
"Quirky, this handgun of his," she thought, "tends to go off without warning." Staring round-eyed at him, she whispered, "boo."
"Run", said something inside of Conditional, and she found herself saying it to Additional, the sponsor who had long ago invited her into his home with such high guarantees of marriage, wholesale, and last minute round tickets.