:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by AuntShecky
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:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by AuntShecky
There once was a girl named Chaney
Who really was quite brainy
Everyday she would read
Whatever she pleased
Then run outside and act quite zany
A beautiful girl named Bailey
Primped with her hair almost daily
Then with her clothes and her shoes
It was so hard to choose
She just stayed home and played ukulele
The granny of Chaney and Bayley
loved each of them more than the other.
"Now, how can that be?
And what about me?
Cried their still somewhat youthful mother.
What, Bayley don't rhyme with "other"?
Neither does bread with butter.
Only a fool
always stick to the rule,
and just watch how I end with So, sue me!
"A limerick is furtive and mean
You must keep her in close quarantine.
Or she sneaks to the slums
And promptly becomes
Disorderly, drunk and obscene."
Today I found limerick as a means to condemn myself...
Its a good way to laugh at or upon... onself...
...gives a sense of accomplishment to make people laugh.
(though one can do that even without someone else's efforts)
anyhow...
To start... with...
There is a gentleman from Mumbai
Dreams of going places in this world
Thinks he is an absurd hero
Nothing but absolute zero
a perfect paradigm of a dumb guy
...came across the very popular limericks by the very Edward Lear "Nonsense Alphabet" which goes like...
A was an Area Arch
Where washerwomen sat;
They made a lot of lovely starch
To starch Papa's cravat.
B was a Bottle blue,
Which was not very small;
Papa he filled it full of beer,
And then he drank it all.
C was Papa's gray Cat,
Who caught a squeaky Mouse
She pulled him by his twirly tail
All about the house.
D was Papa's white Duck,
Who had a curly tail;
One day it ate a great fat frog,
Besides a leetle snail.
...and so on till
Z was a Zebra striped
And streaked with lines of black;
Papa said once, he thought he'd like
A ride upon his back.
http://www.nonsenselit.org/Lear/ll/na1mz.html
I thought a limerick was five lines?
I always end up saying Limerick like "Lime - Rick"
:F
There once was a man who liked fishing
He fished like he was on a mission
Once while he was away
His wife she did play
When he came home she was missing
how are clerihews different?
are they of four lines then...?
Four lines is correct.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tabula_Rasa
A Clerihew is a humorous, "pseudo-biographical" ditty invented by Edmund Clerihew Bentley. As a young lad he came up with the idea when he was trying to avoid doing his homework. The name of the subject, usually a celebrity, appears at the end of Line One. (So you're more likely to find a Clerihew about someone whose name is easy to rhyme, like Donald Trump or Condoleeza Rice say, as opposed to David Ignatow or Zbignew Brzezenski.)
Here’s a couple, which like Law and Order plots, are ripped off today’s headlines:
Like a veggie out of the can, that Scooter “Libby”
Essentially scot-free from being all fibby,
He’s still driving a Bentley (not a Jeep)?
I guess it pays to be pals with The Veep.
Way down in the ratings, Ms Couric, Katie,
Gussied up for the news, all flirty and date-y,
Putting sober(?) CBS execs into a lather,
Consoled, at least, that she’s not Dan Rather.
I can't claim this one as my own, but it is one of my favorite limericks. (Yes, I'm a bit of a nerd)
Quote:
(12 + 144 + 20 + 3 ∙ √4) ∕ 7 + 5 ∙ 11 = 9² + 0
A dozen, a gross, and a score,
plus three times the square root of four,
divided by seven,
plus five times eleven,
is nine squared and not a bit more.
Words as coy ambassadors
Sparking wry and fancy mores
Drive to distraction
A bated retraction
A limited stay on wars.
There once was a puzzle most addled
That crossed many lusties that battled.
It fazed their behinds
And made them maligneds
And known for the way that they prattled.
There once was a flower named Maisie,
A cornflower sweet as a daisy.
She spread out her leaves
When some hummingbird divas
Sat down and groaned good and lazy.
there once was a 'roo
witha piece of bamboo
and everytime he would round
the bamboo dragging would sound
and scare the poor 'roo anew.
:D
Oh, i have no shame......
There once was a girl so in love
especially when her lover was above
not a word she could speak
while biting the sheets
since the couple fit as too small of a glove
this is terrible:
there once was a man named red
who couldnt get out of his bed
he often needed to pee
and would release with glee
now his wife cursed the day they were wed
okya this is the last really bad one...no more after this
my friend made me do it
da da dit da dit ta taa da
is what i said when i took off her bra
with my head in a spin
i was ready to put it right in
but then she started reciting marital law
there once was a vegan named hugh
who picked up the wrong sandwich to chew
he took a big bite
and screamed out in fright
OMGWTBBQ!
oh my! good one! i really liked this one, very clever :DQuote:
Originally Posted by djy78usa
The queens first Indian rifles
Got into a bit of a trifle,
When on the rounds,
They stumbled and found,
A minefield less then delightful
Off of the top of my head...
You know that gent named Jack?
He seems to have come back.
He went down South,
and they fixed his mouth
with a chisel and a WHACK!
Remind me to pencil in an hour or two later to be horribly offended by all this...:)
I scribbled this one down in psychology class...
I wish eye was blew
You wish ewe as two
An Robin Lou
End Stasis Où
Wash thé wan Oz to.
A bit absurd, perhaps, but I like it. Nonsense verse is very nice.
There once was a man for East Mocking
Who bowels were simply not working--
So he bout a strong laxative.
Really quite relaxative
Now he has to replace bathroom flooring!
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l1...s/BlahBlah.gif
There was a man from Frankfurt
Who instead of water, drank dirt
He once drank a lot
when he choked on a rock
Now he no longer lives in Frankfurt
:]
There once was a lady named Jane
With an ax in her hand. For your pain,
Should you get her in bed,
That ax goes through your head.
She likes guys who have got half a brain.
Happy Halloween! :)
There once was a zombie with brains:
His angst that sad fact quite explains.
Whilst his peers hunted head
He lay sulking in bed
Upset at their mindless refrains.
Excellent Halloween limerick. Well done! :) 'Brains!!!'
There was an old ghoul from Dundee
Whose Halloween parties were free
Though those who attended
Were often suspended
Before being eaten for tea.
Through the park after dark Billy goes,
Draws his sword when a wild werewolf shows.
That sweet maiden he'd save
Was the main course and gave
Billy gas from the hot sauce he chose.
There once was a woman called Mabel
Whose man was remarkably able,
He ravaged his wife
Till she said, ‘On my life,
we must stop, or we’ll fall off the table.’
There once was an angel named Tess
Who wore a sheer radiant dress
So those devils could see
All they want all for free
To make sure that their minds stay a mess.
When the bubble had doubled Jim knew
That the bursting would come. Still it grew.
Well, Jim bought at the top
And then watched it all drop.
He got out when it bottomed out, too.
The sunbeams are strings on my fiddle.
I play you an intricate riddle
Of sweet little tunes
On gay afternoons
And chord with the chickadee's whistle.
Nice one, moonbird! It is a challenge to write a limerick that is not filled with crude humor. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by moonbird
Here's an attempt I made to write something more serious. I hope to read more of yours!
After the Big Bang
It pops out of nothing -- so bright!
The universe sparkles at night.
During day it's fine, too.
Let's give praise our lives through,
Giving thanks for the present of light.
Well, this is very optimistic! Not at all what I was expecting. Normally when I think of an oscillating universe as a "trapping", it becomes quite hellish in the metaphysical sense. To each, to each.Quote:
Originally Posted by YesNo
Thanks, deryk! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by deryk
I think Buddhists would agree with you about being trapped in eternal reincarnations, that is, eternal opportunities for suffering and death. But I'm not a Buddhist so I don't know. Anyway I tried to look at it differently here.
A pirate, history relates
Was scuffling with some of his mates
When he slipped on a cutlass
Which rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates
teeheee funny