OK, OK, maybe not 'misshapen' as someone without arms or a mouth that's crooked, but as Clopin says, not beautiful and short-tempered into the bargain.
I agree, he's totally hot, but not because he's handsome. He's charming, but not in a Henry Tilney sort of way (because he's nice, talks easily and just oozes fun), rather in a weirdly macho, domineering sort of way. He is masterful, Jane also calls him her Master all the time, and not in the 19th century sense alone IMO (as the master of the house). The way he strings his company along while trying to make Jane jealous is very hot and terrible at the same time. The way he attracts the attention towards him is uncanny. Don't forget he just decides Jane is going to marry him. In those days a man could expect a yes if he asked, but he also had to prove he was marriage material, that he could be trusted (after all a woman lay her life into his hands almost, if he b*lls it up, life was ruined for her too). That's why Mr Collins and Darcy's proposals are equally mortifying. Mr Collins doesn't want to listen to a no (it doesn't even cross his mind, frankly), clearly has no conception of a good marriage, and Darcy, well the only thing he proves is that he's conceited and will despise his bride. Rochester at his first proposal firstly leads Jane down a dark alley (I can tell you under the trees it is terribly dark, even if there is a full moon) and then takes liberties with her even though she hasn't even told him what she thinks. Practically 'assumes' that it'll necessarily be a yes. What else? He also knows very well that she has no-one to confide in, no-one to ask for advice apart from the housekeeper and she won't dare to say anything. This essentially makes her the same as Tess in Alec's hands, only short of that despicable act. She's young and totally inexperienced into the bargain, has no knowledge of the world or of men and he knows that very well. But he still tries to lure her into a false marriage and plays with her mercilessly in the beginning.
That said though, he did it out of misguidance , a kind of narcissistic need to be recognised as her God (which she also alludes to during their first engagement) coupled with a desperate need to be loved.
You forget that the Byronic hero Byron made a stock character (and Charlotte was thoroughly familiar with this) was destructive, charming, unconventional and brooding. He destroys other people's lives and his own. Only Bronte made him more acceptable by transforming him towards the end.
