do you offend easily?

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Originally Posted by SilentMute

I get offended easily, but I've learned to take a deep breath and give the other person a benefit of the doubt. People often say abominable things to you that are hurtful, and nine times out of ten, they didn't mean it that way. I can't tell you how often I think someone has written an insulting comment on one of my YouTube videos, and then it turns out they didn't mean it the way it sounded.

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it is true on an internet site people tend come across as very different in their manners. their behavious offline is very different and that is something I do not understand .it is a mystery to me.

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The internet unites people in a way they can't unite physically. You encounter people from other countries who have different ideas about etiquette. Then there is always the generation gap. I was surprised that at 38, I have already reached a point where I am shocked by the behavior of younger people. Another problem is that text does not tell you the tone. I think I read somewhere a long time ago where 90% of our cues are non-verbal in communication...so imagine the problem it creates when you can't see the other person or even hear their voice.

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true but I would have thought it is more of a reason for people to realise that and make an effort to make sure they do not come cross as misunderstood.

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Particularly these days, where reality television has made many confrontational behaviors acceptable, and they are no longer considered rude. How do you know when someone calls you a b**** that they are joking, or they are being insulting? If they were physically with you, you could tell by their tone and body language. On the internet, this is impossible.

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modern day tv is a shamble I give you that. it is getting worse and worse I would imagine one day people will simply drift away from it because it is that bad.

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Generally, in real life, I do very well with people. However, I do think that sometimes I offend people online--and usually I didn't mean it either.

As for trolls...they seem to intentionally offend...but even with them, I've started suspecting it isn't about you. Many of them, I think, are overly impressed with profanity and think it is fun to use...or funny. Some might be frustrated people. However, I think most just think they are being funny...and they want attention. They think the best way to get it is to insult someone.They think the best way to get it is to insult someone they think is popular.

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troll as a tag is demeaning because more bite to it then none and it does give the internet a bad name. a bit like hooligans and football. it seems there is always to be a dissociation by association which brings reputability to a disarray/dilemma. anyway the only troll I know of is the one in ''billy goat graff'' that lives under a bridge lol

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Originally Posted by cacian

anyway the only troll I know of is the one in ''billy goat graff'' that lives under a bridge lol

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Over a decade ago we took vacations in the Smokey Mountains (Tennessee, USA) where one of the art stores sell small doll-like creatures made from local materials. When I hear the word "troll", these are the things I think of: http://www.trolls.com/ We have a couple on display in our home. They're a little weird, but you get used to them.

That was a good description of Maurice and Connie, JuniperWoolf. I don't think Maurice intended to give offense, but it happened anyway.

Personally, I try not to feel offended at anything even when an idiot is acting like an idiot. Feeling offended puts me in a position of weakness. When an offense is delivered, I want to be able to respond to it rationally and not emotionally. I usually throw some humor at it to see if it will go away. I also keep in mind that perhaps 5-10% of the people I interact with have some form of undiagnosed personality disorder. They're just having a bad day and taking it out on me.

We probably all give offense to others unintentionally. The people I know who are deliberately offensive seem to believe they are justified in their attempts to cause pain. They think the other person deserves it. Perhaps they think the other person offended them first. Perhaps the other person did.

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Originally Posted by JuniperWoolf

Ouch. That reminds me of something I saw when I was little. The natives in my town tend to live on reserves, and even though most of them have heated houses and electricity (although many don't) they still like to sit out around a fire almost every night. Most of them don't have showers in their houses, there's a bathhouse style place that the community shares, so they don't have time to all pile in there and wash before school so they usually tend to smell strongly like campfire smoke. The white kids who don't know anything about how the natives live and have never been to the reserves are almost afriad to ask about why they all smell like that, but ONCE, oh, this one time...

There was this slicked-up muscular jerk named Maurice in my grade eight class, I've seen him get into physical fights because someone "disrespected" him, that kind of guy. One day, I don't know what the hell set him off, but he walked up to a shy little native named Connie and just went off on her: "Why do you indians always smell like ****? It's exactly like horse **** and smoke, don't you have baths? Why are indians always such poor, drunk, stinking losers?" And he went on, and on. I felt physical pain, this guy was huge and "popular," and little Connie was practically a mute. All she did was put her head down on her desk and stay like that for the rest of the day, none of us said a thing of course. That's one of those childhood memories I'll never forget.

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That's really harsh. But you just know that someone that despicable is going to get their comeuppance.

I'm well aware that I deserve most insults I receive; or at least about nine hundred per day (out of twice that amount). So I can't really take too much offense.

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Originally Posted by cacian

it is true on an internet site people tend come across as very different in their manners. their behavious offline is very different and that is something I do not understand .it is a mystery to me.

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Those people aren't thinking about the fact that there are faces behind the names in cyber-space. And they don't think about the fact that they might be talking to a child, or a person with limiting disabilities, or a person contemplating suicide, or someone who has just been battered or abused. In person, face to face, it's very obvious immediately.

I'm not at all overly sensitive but I am sensitive so I am somewhere in-between "offended easily" and "not easily offended". Nothing is ever black and white with me :)