June '11 Elimination

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Originally Posted by Jack of Hearts

It's a neck and neck snail race!

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Okay, how about some horse-racing commentary.

(Read the following aloud *very* quickly indeed, and preferably after you have inhaled some helium.)

Kim and Me on the inside, Kim and Me followed by Gray Orchid, Four Little Words fiercely racing up on the outside, Four Little Words trying to open the gap between himself and The Game as they go by the line for the first time, Hioulia/Julia right off the rail catching up with The Game and leading Secret Memory and Field Trip by two legs. Further away back in the field now are Reflections of a Murderer and Archie's Girl. Here they come around the corner, four hundred and fifty to go, and it's Kim and Me leading while Gray Orchid and Four Little Words are gathering pace, now The Game off the stridle goes outside to try and his nose in front, and Hioulia /Julia travels the corner well along with Four Little Words. Very close behind them indeed are Field Day, and it's Reflections of a Murderer and Archie's Girl getting away from the rail as we approach the final stretch...

It's the LitNet Derby!

Regards,
DH

Me? Well, I prefer a steeple chase, and any jocky worth his salt should have pulled up Archie's Girl. I have visions of this poor horse dropping dead just before it reaches the finish. (This actually happened right in front of me a couple of weeks ago, btw. Mind you, it made a very poor showing in the paddock, but the vet didn't notice.)

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Originally Posted by DocHeart

Okay, how about some horse-racing commentary.

(Read the following aloud *very* quickly indeed, and preferably after you have inhaled some helium.)

Kim and Me on the inside, Kim and Me followed by Gray Orchid, Four Little Words fiercely racing up on the outside, Four Little Words trying to open the gap between himself and The Game as they go by the line for the first time, Hioulia/Julia right off the rail catching up with The Game and leading Secret Memory and Field Trip by two legs. Further away back in the field now are Reflections of a Murderer and Archie's Girl. Here they come around the corner, four hundred and fifty to go, and it's Kim and Me leading while Gray Orchid and Four Little Words are gathering pace, now The Game off the stridle goes outside to try and his nose in front, and Hioulia /Julia travels the corner well along with Four Little Words. Very close behind them indeed are Field Day, and it's Reflections of a Murderer and Archie's Girl getting away from the rail as we approach the final stretch...

It's the LitNet Derby!

Regards,
DH

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Cracked up at this. The Good Doctor is becoming one of this reader's favorite posters.





J


P.S. Who let Hawk out of the poetry forum?

Okay, Doc, you cracked me up too. How about an auctioneer’s song?

ONE dollar, one dolla, - dolla-dolla, I gotta ONE dolla bid

Who’ll gimme 2? One dolla bid, 2? Lady in blue, TWO dolla bid

Who’ll gimme 3? Lady in blue has 2, 3 dolla, 3 dolla, 3 dolla, 3 dollars to the man with the cowlick

Who’ll gimme 4? Man wit a cowlick has 3, Fo dolla, Fo dolla, Fo dolla, Cow done licked him on both sides of his head, 4?, 4 to the man in the cheap suit

Cheap Suit has 4, Who’ll gimme 5? Cheap Suit has 4, where’d ya git thet suit? Who’ll gimme 5? Thet’s a Goodwill suit, Fi dolla, Fi dolla, FIVE to the lady in blue

Lady in blue has 5, who’ll gimme 6? 6 dolla, 6 dolla, Lady in blue has 5, 6 dolla bid, Lady in blue – Cheap Suit’s been lookin’ at yew, who’ll gimme 6?

Goin’ once…who’ll gimme 6?

Goin’ twice…5’s the bid, who’ll gimme 6?

…SOLD! to the Lady in blue.

Could be that I’ve lived south of the Mason-Dickson too long.

Last three days to read the stories and vote for the one you like best!

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Originally Posted by Sancho

Splendid writing, folks. Keep on keeping on, and keep on writing – it’s selfish of me but it helps with my addiction: I’m a short-fiction junkie. Tough choice this go-around.

But, Sancho voted!

http://i971.photobucket.com/albums/a...esmycookie.jpg

So, what’s wrong with this picture?

Well, I’ll tell ya what: All I’ve got is this piece of dry white toast, but what I really need is a COOKIE!

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Poor Olie...well, if I would have seen you, Sancho, I would have brought the cookie and cheesecake wagon...

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Originally Posted by Scheherazade

Oh, all right, then...

Here, ya go...

http://www.britishcornershop.co.uk/i...e/PW660563.jpg

A WW sultana and cinnamon cookie, that is low in sugar, fat and calorie... And probably in taste too but, hey, it is healthy!

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Oh, no, Scher, a diet cookie...though, I must admit, Weight watchers makes some great stuff, I once ate a whole box of their ice cream bars...

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Originally Posted by DocHeart

Well, who couldn't?

Incidentally, are there any cookies which are like, normal? Like, made the normal way? With sugar and butter and pieces of REAL chocolate?

Regards
DH

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For sure, Doc, me and Sancho worship butter and sugar. Scher is one of those gorgeous red-heads who will have a 20inch waist line when she is 80 because she uses splenda and i cant believe it's not butter.

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Originally Posted by Scheherazade

Here we go:

http://img.xcitefun.net/users/2009/0...ip-cookies.jpg


This used to be our usual cookie until Sancho expressed a concern for weight gain so we had to switch to healthier options.

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Ah, good for you Scher, see, she takes such good care of us...

[QUOTE=Gilliatt Gurgle;1045174]Quite few to get through, but I did and I voted.

.[/QUOTE}

:grouphug::yesnod:

I just HATE to see this contest end with some poor soul not even getting on vote. Sorry, whoever you are. If I could vote twice, I'd vote for you. :grouphug::grouphug:

Going once...

Going twice...

Hey Sche, where's your vote? Or do you not indulge? :)

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Originally Posted by DocHeart

Hey Sche, where's your vote? Or do you not indulge? :)

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Because I know the identities of each writer, I do not vote.


Congratulations to the writer of "Kim and Me", who is the winner of our June elimination.

I would like to thank everyone who have submitted stories as well as those who took the time to read them and vote.

If you would like to receive feedback on your stories, please feel free to start individual threads in the Short Story section.

I would like thank everyone that readed Archie's Girl.

I'm a self published author and I'm looking for ways to introduce my wrok to the world - hints I joined this forum. Please go to my website to see what I do at poetrynations.com and poetrythatraps.com. I hope you like what you find. I will be coming back here from time to post events I am participating in. I thank the creator of this site for allowing me to join and I'm looking forward to conversation and help when I need it if some member can help.

Thank You: James Gibbs