Ladies, what don't you like to be called by men?

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Originally Posted by Janine

I agree with this Max. I once had this really adorable boyfriend when I was about 28 and he referred to woman as ladies and I really thought it was sweet and respectful. He was originally from the South so maybe that is a trait in his state...Southern hospitality. I don't like the other titles above at all. I would have chosen this or Other.

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Thanks for taking part, Janine.
Remember that in some way I'm a southerner too :p

I've just remembered - I was absolutely delighted when a maitre d' in an Australian hotel called me 'Dear Lady'. I have always wanted to be called Dear Lady but somehow never expected it to happen in Australia! :)

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

Olga and Brian, this I found for Buggerlugs, and there's a fifth meaning I dare not post here for fear of being banned. Anyhow if you feel interested here's the link: http://www.urbandictionary.com/defin...erm=buggerlugs
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I just checked it out and will never use it again.

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Originally Posted by MarkBastable

Whatever a guy says, he's in the wrong - that's just the way it is with broads.

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:lol: I wish I had thought of saying that!!

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Originally Posted by Janine

I agree with this Max. I once had this really adorable boyfriend when I was about 28 and he referred to woman as ladies and I really thought it was sweet and respectful. He was originally from the South so maybe that is a trait in his state...Southern hospitality. I don't like the other titles above at all. I would have chosen this or Other.

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I think it depends on the tone of how one says lady. How's this, from say a police officer directing traffic: "Hey lady, move your a$$."

I have no idea how to address members of the opposite sex anymore. I want to be friendly, not too formal but respectful, i don't want the word to have any conotations of oppression, ownership, sexual frisson or mysogeny, but I would like to be gender specific.

What does that leave? apart from buggerlugs

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Originally Posted by kasie

I've just remembered - I was absolutely delighted when a maitre d' in an Australian hotel called me 'Dear Lady'. I have always wanted to be called Dear Lady but somehow never expected it to happen in Australia! :)

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Dear lady sounds both respectful and affectionate, I believe.

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Originally Posted by Brian Bean

I just checked it out and will never use it again.

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Neither will I... though it has a few good connotations, that fifth one may lead to a misinterpretation, therefore to a communication crisis.

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Originally Posted by Virgil

I think it depends on the tone of how one says lady. How's this, from say a police officer directing traffic: "Hey lady, move your a$$."

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If I were a lady I wouldn't like to be caught by that cop in a traffic jam. :D

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

I have no idea how to address members of the opposite sex anymore. I want to be friendly, not too formal but respectful, i don't want the word to have any conotations of oppression, ownership, sexual frisson or mysogeny, but I would like to be gender specific.

What does that leave? apart from buggerlugs

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Maybe the safest would be to ask each particular lady how she wants to be addressed. Something like "may I call you lady?" and if she says no then "may I call you by your name?" or even "may I call you somehow?", and if she says she doesn't like to be called anything then... just... don't call her anymore... because there would be no way to call her at all.

I think when it comes down to it and the person gets to know me, I like best being referred to by my name. I don't like a nickname particularly, so please go with my full-first name. I feel on equal footing with others, if they use my real first name. I can't stand one of my librarians, because she seems to have a condesending attitude when she refers to me as Ma'me. I think that is how you spell it...not sure now...like Yes, Ma'me, no Ma'me...it makes me feel old.

I'd say, if you are introduced to them but you don't know them that well, it's probably best to just use their name.

If you don't know them, if the woman is a complete stranger, I would think 'Miss' would be the most appropriate. I'm just starting to appear older (18) and a guy politely called me Miss in a store, and I was rather flattered. I guess I just like formality in a way, rather than someone just addressing me.

If you're asking about a girlfriend, I'd say any of those are fine. It would really depend on what she likes to be called and you're comfortable with. I've been a fan of 'honey'. It sounds sweet. Not so much of 'baby'. It always makes me think of drunk guys trying to hit on girls. But it depends on the deliverary of course.

hahah...I just realised I totally voted backwards to my desires. I thought the wording of the question was different...duh... I abhor being called Baby or Chick, so I imagine if I had voted right I would be with the majority. I like best to be called 'Lady', if it's someone new or barely known to me; if a steady boyfriend, 'honey' is endearing; otherwise I like to be called by my name. I wish I could redo my dumb vote.

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Originally Posted by Brian Bean

To be honest, I don't know what it means. One of the guys I used to work for often used it to describe someone he didn't like. So perhaps it isn't suitable for your purpose after all. I just like the resonance of the word.

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I think I would just use his name. No matter how many other people have called his name, I know for sure that nobody else can call him the way I do. Nobody else can love him the way I do.

FOr some reason I really dont like lady, ma'am or egypt Miss or Madmesoille ( spelling? frensh miss). I did originally object to Love and chick and chuck and Duck but Ive got used to it its the collequial round here and not really gender specific ( love and chuck that is ). Though I have never heard a man call a man love. The one that really brought me to a standstill the firs time I heard it was 'me lover'. I was working in a chariy shop and I was doing a shift with an oldish woman Id never worked with before and we had the radio on and she suddenly grabs me and dance with me me lover.. and waltzs me across the shop. She was suprisingly strong. I thought she had run mad. till I realised 'me lover' was the colloquial where she was from originally ( her husband came in and said the same thing later.

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Originally Posted by TheFifthElement

I picked nearly all of them. Depending on the context almost all 'pet' names for women can be derogatory and the only way to be safe is to call people by their given name. You missed 'sweetheart' and 'love' from the poll too, oh and 'bird'. Sweetheart really makes me want to puke, 'love' less so but perhaps because culturally in the area where I live 'love' is a common term used in a friendly and not demeaning way, so in my local area if someone said to me, "excuse me love... I wouldn't ever take that as offensive. Chick, in some areas is used in the same way so I guess again it rather depends on context. Bear in mind, in the same area the word 'c*ck' is used as an affectionate term for a man "..are you alright c*ck? or 'cocker', and I have known of situations where people using the term in its colloquial, friendly manner have been told by call centre staff that they'll hang up if they 'speak to them that way again', which is quite funny. Note, I can't actually write the whole word on this site without it getting ****'d out, which would make it very convoluted to talk about male chickens if I needed to :D

Lady I think is acceptable depending on the context. So if you were introducing people to each other you might say 'and this lady is xxx' and that would be okay. After introductions I would then expect people to use either other's names.

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never heard the male chicken one but that is amusing

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Originally Posted by TheFifthElement

Lass is still pretty common where I live. Tends to be used like 'love' as a friendly/affectionate term.

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Originally Posted by *Classic*Charm*

What about broad? I think that one's kind of funny.

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Unless you happen to be broad then it is NOT funny :nod:

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Originally Posted by Brian Bean

How about Buggerlugs ?

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:lol: My mum and her family uses this as an affectionate name for the rest of us in the family. Then again my mum is the same lady who used rember remmeber the day you die as a nursery rhyme. Not to mention

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Originally Posted by kasie

I've just remembered - I was absolutely delighted when a maitre d' in an Australian hotel called me 'Dear Lady'. I have always wanted to be called Dear Lady but somehow never expected it to happen in Australia! :)

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I bet he says that to all the Sheilas.

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Originally Posted by Nightshade

:lol: My mum and her family uses this as an affectionate name for the rest of us in the family. Then again my mum is the same lady who used rember remmeber the day you die as a nursery rhyme. Not to mention

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I think buggerlugs is quite common in the North. I remember my Dad used to use it generally when we were being a bit silly or cheeky, but always in an affectionate way.

Chuck, yes that's common. I call my kids chuck all the time. My Mum used to call people chucky-duck which is another very Northern phrase. As is petal. Also pet is common in the North East.

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Originally Posted by Maximilianus

Whenever you need to refer to male chickens you can always say "male chickens" :p

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I guess you could, but then we might be in danger of implying that male chickens are in some way subordinate to female chickens, which could in turn lead to a male chicken mass uprising. You can't be too careful about these things, you know ;)

And I suppose alot of these are better that the Egyptian ..
Oi you with the flesh! which is gender nutral and ok for kids but not so pleasent when you are an adult.

When my H calls me by my name I know I'm in trouble! And speaking of Bogey, remember in African Queen how he called Katherine H. "Miss." That was the most respectful word to him. Then later when they are about to get married she had to ask his first name. I go with 'woman,' it sounds very grown up, especially if it sounds like you are The woman.