Is is ok for a grown man to cry?

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Originally Posted by baddad

Social conditioning always tries to override natural instinct. It is easier for "BIG BROTHER" to run the wheel of commerce and power, easier for the elite to run the show if the peons are brainwashed into thinking they are thinking.
Is it alright for a man to cry? One may as well ask if it is okay to breathe, is it alright to sigh, to sing, to sleep, to love........

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Well said, old friend. :)

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Originally Posted by Brian Bean

I remember a scene that took place on a train travelling through Europe from Belgrade in Yugoslavia, as it then was, to Ostend in Belgium. The journey was slow and very long and it was impossible to sleep, so I went into the corridor to stretch my legs. It was about three O'clock in the morning and there were two people standing a few compartments further along. It was a young man and woman and they were holding each other close but, because the corridor was in semi-darkness, they didn't see me. After a few minutes the train pulled into some deserted station in Belgium and stopped.
I could hardly believe it when the girl got off in what seemed the middle of nowhere at dead of night but they were obviously distraught at having to part. When the train pulled out of the station, the man broke into the most terrible sobbing.
I don't know the story behind that scene but since then I have never thought that it was wrong for a man to cry.

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What a mysterious story, very poetic, too.
I suppose my parents raised me slightly opposite, to consider it okay to show emotions, state your mind, and not to hold back anything, within reason, of course. I would think it easy to call my mother emotional, intense, and full of expression - never a dull moment with that funny woman; my father seems much more quiet, modest, sober, and lacks a lot of expression. Though he appears iron-clad and difficult to effect, I have seen him cry twice in my life, and both times, he did very silently without shame, but his indescribable mellow intensity, if that makes sense, could have moved mountains.


*Edit: speaking of weird videos on YouTube, did anyone else see that interview with Joaquin Phoenix and David Letterman? . . . awkward! :eek2:

The first rule of masculinity is - You do not cry. The second rule of masculinity is - You do not cry...

Not read through the whole thread, so as usua; I may end up repeating what has already been said.

There are times and places where a man can cry, but in general in public isnt one of them (except for at sporting events). A man has to be solid & dependable, a shoulder for women to cry on but not a source of crying himself - except when alone

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Originally Posted by kilted exile

Not read through the whole thread, so as usua; I may end up repeating what has already been said.

There are times and places where a man can cry, but in general in public isnt one of them (except for at sporting events). A man has to be solid & dependable, a shoulder for women to cry on but not a source of crying himself - except when alone

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Why at sporting events? A day later it will be relegated to the dustbin of sporting history.

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Originally Posted by Virgil

First look at the video and then answer the poll question.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pv0kN...eature=related

Now I have to say, the video had me doubled over laughing. :lol: I'm sure you're laughing too. I'm not sure who is more pathetic, the man, his wife, or Maury Povich for putting this on TV. But it is hilarious, and a lot of the humor deals with the man's reactions, especially his crying. Ok this is a simple question. Is is ok for a grown man to cry? Is a man balling like a baby, though somber if it were in person, but humorous on after thoought.

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First off, I don't fall for this; it has to be a total put-on - come on, naive Virg! I do agree that is made me laugh like crazy - the ending when he throws himself down on the steps/platform. He is a bit overweight, don't you think; she is too? Everytime they came back on, he had cheated on her with a half dozen more woman...the numbers kept increasing; did you notice that? Who would want either of them anyway - wasn't too believable. If they are for 'real', they both need professional help.

Why didn't Maury Povich stick to his original broadcasting and not get involved with this silly stupid show? I agree it's pretty funny, but this is the not the type crying we are talking about here. These people are either actors or nuts and his tears don't even seem real - more like crocidile tears.

I think it is interesting that most of us voted for the one category. I actually admire a man for being secure enough to shed tears, when the occasion arises and he is truly being emotional. So Dori, I admire you. It shows a healthy psyche.

Hey Virgil what are tears with no sounds? Silent tears? haha..you are just too funny for me! :lol:

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Originally Posted by Scheherazade

The first rule of masculinity is - You do not cry. The second rule of masculinity is - You do not cry...

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hm ... cold! :cold:

I remember when I was very young seeing that scene in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof with Paul Newman when he cried. I thought it was extremely moving and very brave of him. Men just didn't cry in movies, especially not leading men. It made me a lifelong fan.

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Originally Posted by Scheherazade

The first rule of masculinity is - You do not cry. The second rule of masculinity is - You do not cry...

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Let me tell you, I'm not surprised you picked this. Actually knowing you, I bet you apply it for women as well. You're one tough lady and I really respect that. :)

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Originally Posted by kilted exile

Not read through the whole thread, so as usua; I may end up repeating what has already been said.

There are times and places where a man can cry, but in general in public isnt one of them (except for at sporting events). A man has to be solid & dependable, a shoulder for women to cry on but not a source of crying himself - except when alone

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Basically I feel the same. I just allowed the occaisional slip when something ecrutiating may happen. I noticed you didn't vote Kilt.

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Originally Posted by Janine

First off, I don't fall for this; it has to be a total put-on - come on, naive Virg! I do agree that is made me laugh like crazy - the ending when he throws himself down on the steps/platform. He is a bit overweight, don't you think; she is too? Everytime they came back on, he had cheated on her with a half dozen more woman...the numbers kept increasing; did you notice that? Who would want either of them anyway - wasn't too believable. If they are for 'real', they both need professional help.

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Well, it's that trash TV crap and I can never tell how much of it is a put on and how such is serious. I'm sure it's exaggerated, but there must be some element of truth in it. God, could they have gotten any uglier pair? They both cheated on each other. The question is who would go with them anyway?

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Why didn't Maury Povich stick to his original broadcasting and not get involved with this silly stupid show? I agree it's pretty funny, but this is the not the type crying we are talking about here. These people are either actors or nuts and his tears don't even seem real - more like crocidile tears.

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Because it sells I guess. I'm not home during the day to watch this junk but apparently someone does. I don't think they are actors. The reactions may be exaggerated but I think the situation is real.

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Hey Virgil what are tears with no sounds? Silent tears? haha..you are just too funny for me! :lol:

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Tears with no sounds are just tears running but no sobbing.

No one, man or woman should cry in public. I do not beleive in steroptypical gender roles, I just think that crying is a self-pitying act that does not solve the problem or acomplish anything. It is a melo-dramatic display to get attention and to have other people feel sorry for you.

There are occasions where it may be appropriate to cry, but such should be done in privacy.

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Originally Posted by Dark Muse

No one, man or woman should cry in public. I do not beleive in steroptypical gender roles, I just think that crying is a self-pitying act that does not solve the problem or acomplish anything. It is a melo-dramatic display to get attention and to have other people feel sorry for you.

There are occasions where it may be appropriate to cry, but such should be done in privacy.

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I agree, that's why I don't cry in public. It really doesn't accomplish anything and I look really lame when I cry - tearful and snotty and way messy. If I cried prettily, it may be different. :lol: Althooough...

Now, I'd have to make exceptions for a few places. Say, for instance, one of our waitresses already has been having a bad day and a grouchy old man says, "The service here is terrible." She goes back into the back and cries - there aren't many places to go and cry in a restaurant, and we only have one gross bathroom which you can't exactly slip into when you're busy serving three tables. Tears, they happen. I don't think the waitress was purposely seeking attention, but certainly there was a subconscious need to be comforted.

My personal opinion, however, is about the same as Aunt Shecky's and Muse's. I would feel embarrassed if I went into the kitchens and started bawling. And truthfully, if a man was bawling in public because of some personal drama, I would initially think "Oh dang, this dude does not have his stuff together." I would think the same of a woman.

Again, an exception: You just got a call on your cell that your mom died.

... Right: :bawling: :bawling: :bawling:

But this? This video? Ridiculous. If this is real, shame, shame on them both. They're making fools of themselves just so they can get on camera - that's my opinion. People obviously get a kick out of it, and the subjects obviously like the attention.

This is all 'in public' though.

Is it ok for them to cry in general? ...

Yes. It's ok.

Would it lower my opinion of them? again, I think it all has to do with the situation. When I'm being petty and emotional - "why didn't they pick ME for part of Ophelia :bawling:" - I'd prefer a guy to talk some sense into me than cry along with me. Iiie... kind of hope he'd feel the same?

Taliesin:

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"Of course it is okay for grown men to cry- I do it too - for example, when I happen to cook and chop onions, tears just come, I can't help it."

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I laffed.

The truth about crying is here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lpy3OqSPd-U

That was hysterical! Thanks Virgil! I so needed a good laugh! Springer's influence everywhere! Do you think Connie approves of this crap? They must really need the money! LMAO.

Well here in Australia we have had terrible bushfires as most of you know with terrible loss of life. Our Prime Minsiter (male) was filmed crying this week as he saw the damage and spoke to people that has managed to get out alive. I for one do not believe this was "put on" and I have to say my respect for him went up this week. So it is OK for men to cry and in fact it shows you their human side.

Kevin Rudd is full of ****.

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Originally Posted by limajean

Kevin Rudd is full of ****.

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I don't disagree but I have to say the emotion I saw seemed very real to me and I couldn't hrlp but be impressed that he let himself be so exposed in such public glare.

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Originally Posted by kilted exile

There are times and places where a man can cry, but in general in public isnt one of them (except for at sporting events).

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Okay, the testosterone just kicked in here. I only follow one sport religiously - baseball, and I have stuck with the Boston Red Sox through thick and thin (same with the Atlanta Braves, but they have not done well in years). In 2007, when the Red Sox won their second World Series within 3 years, when Jonathan Papelbon threw that last strike to the Colorado Rockies, ending a 4-game sweep . . . yeah, tears come to my eyes just thinking of it. :nod: