The white rabbit was twittering on about who was going to be held responsible and pay for his broken collector's edition porcelain princess doll, who curiously enough looked exactly like...
Printable View
The white rabbit was twittering on about who was going to be held responsible and pay for his broken collector's edition porcelain princess doll, who curiously enough looked exactly like...
Donald Trump. Bordeaux realized that Marie was beginning to regain consiousness and also oddly, that he held a wedge of blue cheese in his hands. Throwing caution to the wind, he swept Marie into his arms and said..
"Have some cheese to pay for the doll, you silly Trump-loving rabbit!" He threw the cheese in the rabbit's face. He raged at his wife-witch and told her exactly how he felt about her laugh: "Your laugh is like a thorn in the side of my soul! Your mournsome howl is like butter wedged in my ears! I would rather eat dirt than ever see you again! Fine, if you must then you will see my true nature!" Suddenly all present heard the sound of madly thumnping bass, and, as he reached up to the top of his skull to pull on a zipper (he'd sat Marie down, realizing she was in the way at the last minute) what was revealed astonished everyone because...
you'd have thought Clarence was dead by now! He hadn't figured on living much longer than The Boss, but that had happened, and now he was continuing the legacy of fine effects. This was probably his best yet, considering his wife had never realized he was The Boss' right-hand man, in a M. Bordeaux suit. It really was quite a marvel; he would have loved to show it off to his old chief, but right now he had quite a mess to sort out. First off, he got out the sample container of stove polish always carried and gave the White Queen a blackface makeover. "There, you'll do well as a chimmny sweep!" She gaped and harrumphed, arms akimbo. Then she threw down her icicle-staff and marched off, muttering all the while about 'crazy men, think they're so funny, I'll show him . . .' Back at the Manor, Mr. Gardiner looked on while Clarence worked on fixing Marie up. Just then, Mr. Gardiner's oldest son, Tommy, the carrottop one with freckles, came in at a dead run and said breathlessly, "
"Th' tower in th' distance has fallen!"
the occupant in the room scratched his beard. he knew what that meant, but what he didn't know was what to do."thank you Tommy."
"what d'ye wan' me t'do?"
"what you always do."
"what will tha' help, if ye don' mind me askin'"
"i do mind, but i would like to have some time to think,so," the occupant arose, "i will see you in a bit." and he walked out of the cottage, leaving Tommy to do what he pleased.
the occupant walked away towards the meadow where he pondered what to do, he looked at the ruins of the tower in the distance, and pondered some more, he was about to turn and head back to his home when he saw someone on the horizon. from where he was, he realized that the person couldn't possibly be....
...anyone but the legendary serpintine spirit, Slithers.
"all men to battle stations!!!this is not a drill!!!"
Suddenly, the buidling....
Burst into vivid scarlet flames as the bomb exploded. "Where is that coming from?" yelled the red headed boy,"they aren't suposed to be here yet!"
"And yet we are here" said Lord Voldemort, "I appoligize for the intrusion, but I have uncovered a file. Can you give me a guess?" he crooned. "The little donkey...cute little donkey..." murmered Bordeaux. "That's right." Voldemort cut in," the cute little donkey my second in command couldn't find. I could just revoke your card, but I want to have a little fun with this. CRUCI..."
BOOM
the Dark Lord's curse was suddenly cut off by.....
a baby who burst in singing,
"They see me mowin'
My front lawn
I know they're all thinking
I'm so White N' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!
I wanna roll with-
The gangsters
But so far they all think
I'm too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
I'm just too white n' nerdy
Really, really white n' nerdy
First in my class here at M.I.T.
Got skills, I'm a Champion of DND
MC Escher that's my favorite MC
Keep your 40
I'll just have an Earl Grey tea
My rims never spin to the contrary
You'll find they're quite stationary
All of my action figures are cherry
Steven Hawkings in my library
My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
I got people begging for my top 8 spaces
Yo I know Pi to a thousand places
Ain't got no grills but I still wear braces
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
I'm a whiz at minesweeper I can play for days
Once you see my sweet moves you're gonna stay amazed,
my fingers movin' so fast I'll set the place ablaze
There's no killer app I haven't run
At Pascal, well, I'm number 1
Do vector calculus just for fun
I ain't got a gat but I gotta soldering gun
Happy days is my favourite theme song
I can sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
I'll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
I'm fluent in Java Script as well as Klingon
Here's the part I sing on
They see me roll on, my Segway!
I know in my heart they think I'm
white n' nerdy!
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Can't you see I'm white n' nerdy
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy
I'd like to roll with-
The gangsters
Although it's apparent I'm too
White n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
I'm just too white n' nerdy
How'd I get so white n' nerdy?
I've been browsing, inspectin'
X-men comics you know I collect 'em
The pens in my pocket
I must protect 'em
my ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
Shopping online for deals on some writable media
I edit Wikipedia
I memorized Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL
I got a business doing websites
When my friends need some code who do they call?
I do HTML for them all
Even made a homepage for my dog!
Yo! Got myself a fanny pack
they were having a sale down at the GAP
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap
POP POP! Hope no one sees me gettin' freaky!
I'm nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour creme
I was in AV club and Glee club and even the chess team!
Only question I ever thought was hard
Was do I like Kirk or do I like Picard?
I spend every weekend
at the renaissance fair
I got my name on my under wear!
They see me strollin'
They laughin'
And rollin' their eyes 'cause
I'm so white n' nerdy
Just because I'm white n' nerdy
Just because I'm white n' nerdy
All because I'm white n' nerdy
Holy cow I'm white n' nerdy
I wanna bowl with-
the gangsters
but oh well it's obvious I'm
white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
Think I'm just too white n' nerdy
I'm just too white n' nerdy
Look at me I'm white n' nerdy!"
as the baby sang voldemort grew weaker and weaker untill....
...his reserve powers kicked in twelve fold.
The newly revived being straightened its crumpled body until it stood full hight and said, "I really should thank you, Alzar, for endowing me with your godly powers, but the time has come for your ending." The 'baby' turned around and kicked Jekan in the good ol' family jewels for mistaking him for a baby. He then turns to the Dark Lord,
"They have no respect for anything magical nowadays. I mean SHEESH my beard gets itchy so I shave it off and look what happens; I get called a baby."
"I know what you mean. I used to have great hair until the Michael Jackson trial hit; I had to shave my head to stop people from throwing rocks at me."
"Really now? Wow I never realized that we had so much in common."
"Yeah lets stop fighting. Truce?"
"Truce."
Alzar and Voldemort leave via a convenient hole in the wall, leaving the remaining occupants to piece their brains back together. The green flash of light and the smallest of thuds told the occupants that the friendships heart had only beat once before fading. They knew that The Dark Lord's new form was...
...unstoppable. at that moment, eragon came and used the ancient language ("WAS HIEL!!!") to heal everyone right before their hearts stopped. everyone got up and stared at him, when he said, "i am eragon shadeslayer. i have come to defeat voldemort and his ally alzar, and jekan, crystal, railen, kriana, luna and blake are here to help me. show your true forms so you can help me." they showed their true form. they were human-animal hybrids! railen and luna were human-wolf hybrids, crystal and blake were human-dragon, and kirana and jekan were human-fox. they slashed at the wall and to their surprise, it opened up to a portal. they stepped in and...
...wounded up in the most peculiar looking place. It really was so bizzare, like walking into a dream, the dream of a dreamer or a mad man. A large field of strawberries, with a sky that was not quite orange, yet nor was it pink.
The gang strayed from one another, drifting and wondering; dazed at the psychotic beauty of it all.
Strolling through the red and green fields, crystal spotted a dark figure lay down on the hill in the distance. Curious as to what this thing, being, creature may have been, she sprinted over to it.
There on the ground was a girl, covered in crimson red blood; it appeared as though she was sleeping, and the stains were merely strawberry.
Froze in horror, Crystal remained there for a long while, until Jekan finally ran over to see what had caught her attention.
"Oh my God, it's..."
..."...its...its..." sudennly the girl jumped into the air and did a triple flip and landed... it wasnt a girl... it was, "the ZHOHAN!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"
voldemort screamed in horror
the zohan said, "DISCO DISCO!!!" and lord voldemort suddenly burst into dance.
eragon said...
..."this is getting completely ridiculous now; what a waste of time. I'm out."
And so Eragorn strolled off into the distance alone, over the hills, and out of sight. Maybe they would see him again, maybe not.
All of a sudden, an entrancing, mellifluous sound came out of nowhere, and everybody began to dance; picking and eating strawberries as they went. Of course, the music didn't sound the same to everyone; what they heard was personal to them, responding to the beat of their hearts.
Along the lane strolled a lady, carrying a basket of muffins - strawberry ones, of course. She stopped, slightly bemused, and smiled at the sight of it all.
"Lady W!" cried...
jekan, he ran to her and...
Beamed the most boyish grin she'd ever seen, took one of the muffins, and with a full mouth, said "Wow, these are great. Did you make them yourself?"
"I did", she smiled; "It's great to see you; I've not seen you in such a long long time!"
He wolfed down the muffin and replied...