The Simpsons Quoting Thread

LMAO

Lisa: Can you help me get my ball down from the roof, Dad?

Homer: Sure thing, honey. *shoots gun at the roof*

*Ball falls to the ground and deflates*

Homer: Want me to get the cat down?

Lisa (quickly): No thanks.

Random_hero reminded me of this... from when Flanders sent Homer to be a missionary...

Homer: Wait, I'm no missionary! I don't even believe in Jebus!
*plane takes off with Homer trapped inside*
Homer: Oh, save me, Jebus!

This just came to me in the shower -- does anyone else suspect that showers breed some kind of memory-inducing, analytical-thinking bacterium? -- anyway, I have to put it before I forget it again, so excuse the double-posting..

I think it's Treehouse of Horror, I know it's 1999... when Y2K hits and everything electronic in Springfield goes haywire...

Lisa: Well, well. Look at the wonders of your modern age, now.
Homer: "Wonders," Lisa? ...Or blunders?
Lisa: I think that was implied by what I said.
Homer: "Implied," Lisa? ...Or implode?
Lisa: Mo-om, make him stop.

[edit] I guess this is just one of those that is more aurally/visually funny than it is to read. Darn, I hate "guess-you-had-to-be-there" funny. :D

I thought it was funny!!! :D :D

people please stop posting there was a full page of topics with posts i havent read and i have no time and i want to see them all!!!!!!!(cos otherwise i wont know what i've read and what not...) Ok I had to shout this in ANY topic *hurries to the next one*

LMAO :D No kidding, I was scrolling and realized this whole page is from this afternoon! :eek: What's in the water today, huh?

Oh god, would someone post the Max Power song... I am dry heaving from laughing too hard. At the thought of Max Powers.

"When your in bed with Max Power, you strap yourself in and FEEL THE G'S ! " - Homer as Max Power


Max Power, he has the name that you want to touch,
but you musn't touch!
His name sounds good in your ear,
but when you hear it, you musn't fear.
Cause is nam can be said,
in many different ways...

"Uh-oh, Spaghettios!"

Oh god, I have to go die now. :D :D I forgot about the song. LOL

wait, here's another of my fave's:

When Homer takes the family to a sushi restaurant, eats a blowfish and finds out he's going to die in 24 hours:

Dr. Hibbert: Now, a little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial.
Homer: No way! Because I'm not dying!
Dr. Hibbert: The second is anger.
Homer: Why you little!
Dr. Hibbert: After that comes fear.
Homer: What's after fear? What's after fear?
Dr. Hibbert: Bargaining.
Homer: Doc, you gotta get me out of this! I'll make it worth your while!
Dr. Hibbert: Finally, acceptance.
Homer: Well, we all gotta go sometime.
Dr. Hibbert: Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me.


hehehe...go Homer

Homer eating a rice cake:
"Hello? Hello? Hello, taste? Where are you?"


edit: this was my 666th post too....who knew it would be so 'blah'. the only thing evil about it is the fact that it mentions rice cakes....ugh!

When Lisa wants to play football...
HOMER: Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else -- and it hasn't -- it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such.

when the German's buy the Nuclear Plant:

"We regret to announce the following lay-offs, which I will read in alphabetical order. Simpson, Homer. That is all."

"Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies, and kids with fake IDs."

Apu(After being robbed and tied)
They used the nylon rope this time! It feels so smooth agaisnt my skin... almost sensuous