Ha ha, Jon, why didn't ya hop in? ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by jon1jt
Pull these without touch
the quills poked the smallest one...
such sad little eyes
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Ha ha, Jon, why didn't ya hop in? ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by jon1jt
Pull these without touch
the quills poked the smallest one...
such sad little eyes
kiz beat me
such sad little eyes
remain felt, it's the nature
in emotion's look
(oh well, just a little juggling required.)
in emotions drag
moments turn into hours
the painful night wails
I wondered the same thing.Quote:
Originally Posted by kiz_paws
pull these that don't touch,
the sinews of my mortal
flesh are in your hands
The painful night wails
each raindrop is a message
my nose drips with news
My nose drips with news
and further drips memories
on my ancient sword
:(
on my ancient sword
there is a small engraving --
please use with caution
please use with caution
my heart is not a football
to be kicked around
please use with caution
my heart is not a football
to be kicked around
Quote:
Originally Posted by kiz_paws
Thanks, Kiz. Sometimes I get in the mood to just disappear. I think singer Suzanne Vega sums up this feeling for me perfectly:
;)Quote:
Originally Posted by quote
to be kicked around,
poets going through customs
learn to compromise
learn to compromise
let not yourself disappear
just enter my eyes!
Just enter my eyes
Steal the beating heart within
I offer it all
I offer it all
at least all that I can do,
beware of traitors
Beware of traitors
who sin against our soul, for
the may never learn
the may never learn
only to precede, alone,
attached to nothing
Attached to nothing
I am dust in violent wind
Dangling heartstrings
how wonderfully clever.Quote:
Originally Posted by Il Penseroso
dangling heartstrings
can trip you, so treat them like
weeds, pluck them away.
I actually couldn't think of any other way to take it.
though yours is genuinely clever, as usual :wave:
weeds, pluck them away
and brush ruby crawling foam
as you enter life.
god that one sucked
as you enter life
nudged ahead of what you know
remember it ends
Remember it ends
Love is best in a moment
Afterwards, pure dust
don't say that! I didn't continue from your haiku because I knew I wouldn't do justice to it, even though I was really really tempted to...I was waiting for someone talented to do that...Quote:
Originally Posted by Il Penseroso
skip me
I'm not exactly sure what you mean, but when I said "that one sucked" I meant my own; that in my opinion I could have done better.
these are just for fun, I don't think anyone should feel pressure that their haikus will be judged harshly. the point, for me, is just to practice and exercise my creativity. it's a fun game, that should be looked at thusly.
please, don't feel that you're not good enough to post. :thumbs_up
Awesome, I like it! Hope you didn't feel like I was pointing at you, I was (in a fun way) bugging you? :pQuote:
Originally Posted by jon1jt
Awww, craze, a misunderstanding! Your haiku is always fun and enjoyable to read and work from. IP is totally right -- this thread should just be a fun thread to practice our haiku skill. No one sits in judgement, and if they do, they need a life (sorry to insult but IP is right). Serious haiku can be made in another thread, the poetry section of the discussion board. OK, enough said -- to quote Bugs Bunny "and on with the show!"Quote:
crazefest456 --don't say that! I didn't continue from your haiku because I knew I wouldn't do justice to it, even though I was really really tempted to...I was waiting for someone talented to do that...
skip me
Afterwards, pure dust
when all the crowds have gone home
a Boxing Day blitz
a Boxing Day blitz
left them tired and hungry
who would have thought that?
who would have thought that?
Who'd believe you're not mine?
Your heart betrays you!
your heart betrays you!
can't you see, he loves you not!
he's only a friend.
he's only a friend
I like him but don't love him
hope things will improve
hope things will improve
the say that time heals all wounds
resolves many diff's
NAY, ZANNA, no abbreviations !!!
resolves many diff's
but not the one between good,
bad and the ugly !
ummmm, maz, lighten up -- technically speaking, in the 'real' haiku world, they do not allow for contractions either (isn't, didn't, it'll, aren't, and so on) which we have all used here at one time or another... Have fun people (just stay with the 5-7-5 rhythm and its all good!) :thumbs_upQuote:
Originally Posted by mazHur
Bad and the ugly
creating unwanted scenes
lets scrap this movie :p
Quote:
Originally Posted by kiz_paws
KIZ---you have a point there but yet there is a lot of diff btwn the admssble srn't,didn't, etc and pls, asap, btw, etc etc , isn't it?? Anyway, I said that to zanna in light humor only incl this,,,,let's kp up wth 5/7/5=18 that's fine ! thx:)
lets scrap this movie
and s-tart with a new one
a short serial
a short serial
man and bear coexist in
forest, under stars
[QUOTE=kiz_paws;513238]ummmm, maz, lighten up -- technically speaking, in the 'real' haiku world, they do not allow for contractions either (isn't, didn't, it'll, aren't, and so on) which we have all used here at one time or another... Have fun people (just stay with the 5-7-5 rhythm and its all good!) :thumbs_up
Right on, and consider that some great writers who wrote haiku--e.g. Jack Kerouac's Book of Haiku---didn't even follow the 5-7-5 form because they thought it was creatively constraining.
forest, under stars
stars rest like books in bookshelves,
forest tends to love
forest under stars
light up their green and wait... for
the next howl to come.
....
too slow.
Forest tends to love.
The clouds give. We but recieve.
And recieve thereby.
And receive thereby
I mix the clouds in red wine
and declare sweetness.
and declare sweetness
to linger in skies, tumbling
clouds shifting when viewed
[QUOTE=jon1jt;513305]i agree !Quote:
Originally Posted by kiz_paws
Quote:
Originally Posted by symphony
speed thrills but 'grills''!
nice to see you back !
clouds shifting when viewed
look like monsters hastening
to fall on some patch