So sorry, Pen...but after landing in post-apocalyptic Great Britain, Ash was stricken with a sudden desire to slay a dragon.
Say hello to Mr. Double-Barreled Remington. Now say good-bye to Mr. Double-Barreled Remington.
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So sorry, Pen...but after landing in post-apocalyptic Great Britain, Ash was stricken with a sudden desire to slay a dragon.
Say hello to Mr. Double-Barreled Remington. Now say good-bye to Mr. Double-Barreled Remington.
i like your style robin, now let me add some of mine
robin hood drops dead for no apparent reason, except the fact that his face now covers each wall (ceiling and floor included) one crime scene investigator found the remains of a barrett M-107 high explosive round. it is concluded that the round came from so far away, robin would have not heard the shot until one second after the bullet penetrated his head. he was given no chance to greet the massive rifle, but merely shot with it.
Assassination by sawdust suffocation.
Strolling along looking up, wondering why the sky was blue, Oniw failed to see the "Tresspassers Will Be Shot, Ground Up, and Feed To The Hogs!" sign until he tripped over the fence. The hogs were happy, anyway...
How small is that fence that I trip over it at 5'5"? Anyway, trying to tag an eagle with an arrow....aiming straight up.
One day, Oniw was making onion soup. As he was chopping the onions, he accidentally chopped his finger. You know that enzyme that makes your eyes tear when you cut onions? Well, Oniw got blood-poisoning from it. When Oniw died a moment later he thought the onion had grown and was apologising for the blood poisoning.
PAM dies playing violin. Gets his/her hair wrapped around the bow then chokes on the strings.
onwi, sitting at home, thinking that the trick with th ebow and the hair was ingenious failed to hear the latch on his window unlock and roll open, he also, failed to notice the room getting gradually darker. laughing with himself, buzzed from a beer, he froze as a voice cold enough to freeze the sun whispered in his ear, "Boo"
oniw failed to notice the door opening, he failed to notice the lights going out, he even failed to notice the fire licking his chair. he failed to notice it because he was dead
Practicing HKD, PAM breaks his/her wrist and the metacarpels in his/her hand rip though his/her skin, sending him/her on a trip to the hospital. On the way, a kamikaze plane meant to hit the Sears tower is shot down and crahses directly into the ambulance.The wreck doesn't kill him/her, (s)he sits under torn metal for 45 minutes hallucinating(sp?) from lack of oxygen. Then as the paramedic is pulling him/her out, his/her lung collapses.
you know about HApkido ? then my friend, i must bow to you.
after bowing, whips out a pistol and shoots oniw between the eyes,
p.s. i'm a guy
The shadow of X barely showed as he moved along the warehouse wall. Ever silent, The Ninja Assassin dropped into the building and moved to the hidden room where he knew his target to be. A tiny blowgun dart and he was done.
Suddenly the hyper senses of the Ninja sent him into a crouch. Something had changed, though his eyes could detect nothing in the patterned wall of the room, yet he knew something had changed. He reached out with his Chi stroking the surface. Ah. The camouflaged door was gone. That wall was solid, though the door appeared to still be there.
Faint odor told him much. "You have come again." X did not turn.
The "dead man" stood, and flicked away the dart. He morphed into a glistening dragon. "I have never left. Your sensei never spoke of Immortals?"
X turned. "I am not completely alive, myself. I am proof against your fire, ice, wind, or earth trickery. I can steal your soul."
The dragon laughed. "Ah, yes. If an Immortal had a soul to steal, perhaps. You fell hard enough for a simple illusion last we met."
X contained his anger. "You will not use myself against me. I have defeated myself, and there is a way to defeat you."
"All things must end, perhaps, today, I have no quarrel with you. I just wanted you to see that you failed to kill me as you always will. No man, however skilled in any arts, could slay an immortal. I am not certain another Immortal could slay me.
"I have failed to slay you also. I am going. I leave you with a Dragon Scream. The Sonic Shockwave will bring down this building upon you. You will probably survive to face me again. We cannot hurt the other, so learn from this!"
The Dragon vanished as X staggered slapping his hands over his ears. The building disintegrated around him, burying in the carnage. But as the Dragon had said, X failed to really die...
finally, a match to pit myself against,
but, pen and his power of illusions makes it almost impossible to do anything, how do i know that i am not in an illusion as i think over the matter, ... of course!
not thinking twice, X reached up to a blade kept strapped to his chest. he pulled the wicked blade from it's sheath. "i made this blade to end lives quickly and painlessly. now it shall harm me." The assassin, still buried under the debis, did a complicated spin that seemed to transform the blade. it glowed pure and forced the shadows form the rocks around him. He saw what was wrong, it was a small shape, but a shape none-the-less. he knew it was pen, trying to see what his prisoner would do. the assassin smiled and forced the tip of the blade into his eye. There was a large burst of pain, one too great for his discipline to hold back, he screamed as the blade moved to the other eye. Pen laughed, "why does he seek to injure himself, the minute an assassin is blinded, is the minute the assassin ceases to exist." said pen as shook with mirth. Then a small thought ran up his spine. the smile of glee on the ancient dragons face turned into an expression of horror and anger together.
"Are you there?" whispered X?
"Yes I am." a voice whispered back.
"You are now my eyes."
"I have always been, but i will remain though you have separated your soul from them."
"thank you."
X saw everything. if you can say that sensing is seeing. He felt the dragon lying close. the dragon watched as shadows spread from the place where X's body lay on the cave floor. the dragon breathed fire to disperse the shadows, but they wouldn't leave, if anything, they devoured the flame. "i am now blinded and can no more be deceived by your tricks. you can only affect the sight, not any other sense." the voice that said it did not emanate from the body, but it echoed from every crack in the cave, every pool of water, every shadow and every flame. "i am myself an immortal. your power is to control fire earth ice and wind, which you use to make illusions for your enemies. my power is to replicate and steal others power in it's entirety. i have several more to add to my collection nowi now control the shadows, the light, lightning, fire, ice, water, earth, and the wind, while maintaining the ability to consume souls. you my friend will now burn in new fires." as the walls spoke, they burst forth in black flames, devouring all. pen's body was destroyed, leaving his entity to find another body, and use that to harbor a dragon. he disapeared, but not before looking at X's eyes, both had x's etched on them, but both were still seeing, they just weren't sending the information to X's mind.
Slowly, silently, now the moon,
Walks the night in her silver shoon,
This way and that, she peers and she sees
What does she see?
Silent X taking silent Z's.
While he was sitting across two trees.
So what does she do?
This lady moon?
She plays whatever it is Silent listens to so that while he is still asleep, he gets up and starts moonwalking. As anyone who moonwalks in moonlight is open to being kidnapped by the moon, she picks up silent and starts speeding away. Silent wakes up, does one of his taekwondo kicks and she drops him. Silent, unfortunately, plummets to a rather noisy death, as the moon had already taken him rather far up into the sky.
:D
Isn't this the moment every girl has been dreaming of? When she gets to kill her own sister. :p
When a friend from church asked to listen to a song from her favorite singers, Andya (being the sweet girl she is) gladly lent him her ipod.
Little did she know, this act was one that was about to take her life. For the friend who had borrowed her ipod, hadn't washed his ears in over thirteen years.
:p I keep telling her this is going to happen, but she never listens.
Having regained a human form to contain the dragon-spirit, Pendragon discovered that in the exchance with Silent X his own powers had become agumented somewhat. The little slip of a girl that came skipping by was not harming anyone, yet Pendragon felt an almost irresitable urge to kill. He contented himself by reading the maiden's youthful mind and trapping her forever in her own dreams...
requietum in pax somnium
PAM's dragons got mad and ate him... very sad sitchuation. (forget the spelling)
shurtugal, was shunned by litnetters because of her spelling. she wouldn't leave so they hired an assassin. she was dead within the hour
transported in feudal japan, X and the warrior bumped into each other. and, renew their friendship, they journeyed together into the unknown and dangerous. little did X know that toni was injecting nightmare poison on X's fish that gave the latter disturbing nightmares, echoes, vivid dreams of those he killed who seeked revenge. X, who had been sneaking suspiciously on toni making lunch, saw her put the poison on his fish. he then confronted her and on they went to battle each other but toni was a millisecond quicker, she thrust her reverse-edged sword on his heart... we will miss u very much
http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f2.../ZiyiZhang.jpg
the slight disturbance around X's body should have been a tell-tale sign that this was not the true X. when sword pierced flesh, the body of X burst into a cloud of smoke and Toni's head fell to the floor. X's blade had been so fast, keen, and powerful that Toni's body stood by itself for a few seconds. X had been hiding behind the mighty warrior and bowed his head as the room caught fire and he disappeared.
X was guilty of killing poor toni that he decided to save her and when he did, he forgot his precious blade in the burning room so he went hurrying back in the smoke to retrieve it. But the fire was getting worse, X was trapped inside but not too late to pose for a farewell photo for us all...
http://i228.photobucket.com/albums/e...retomasoul.jpg
Toni just fell on her sword while cleaning it one day, however as she died she could one mysterious person running, murder, perhaps?
Baki got into her T.A.R.D.I.S time machine. By mistake she set the dials wrong and landed in a stone age caveman war. She was bludgeoned to death. Poor Baki!
will i ever be able to kill x or toni!!!!!!!!
probably not, but i can kill you if you want, even if you don't
shurtugal went clinically insane. someone, apparently unknown, told her that she could fly off to never land. so shurtugal took a running start and jumped off of her balcony, only to plummet 10 feet where she landed on her head. her neck snapped and she died, before her legs touched the ground.
that is a lie i flew marvioulsly!
i was exicted to see that X was finally on i execdently ran over him with my computar.... sorry X. :blush:
Shurtal paused in her running to gasp for breath.
"Don't you ever tire of all of this?"
Shurt jumped. Where did that voice come from?
The Dragon stepped through one of his doorways in the air to face her. "Well. Don't you?"
"What do you mean, Pendragon?"
"Ah." The Dragon's eyes narrowed. He raised a clawed finger. "We kill each other. We die, and we stay not in the world of the dead. We return, and slay again. We spend all our time trying to come up with a more ingenious way to kill the other, knowing that we shall fail in the end, they shall return, and we must do the job again."
He yawned, showing a mouthful of great teeth. "Boring isn't it?"
Shurt looked confused. "This is how it was decided..."
"By whom?" Roared the Dragon. "Who decided we had to follow this path?"
"I-I, well, I don't really know. That's just the rules." Shurt stammered.
"Whatever." The Dragon grumbled. He slashed off her head with the claw. "Tag. You're it."
Our hero Pendragon was flying on the back of his favourite dragon, when suddenly, he slid off.
Fortunately, he landed on some very squishy moss growing out of the sea, where he was rescued by passing sailors.
Late at night, Pendragon was recounting the day's adventures when he foolishly sucked the tip of his ink quill. I'm sorry to say that the ink got the better of him.
PAM was innocently posting away at litnet, when suddenly she had a massive nap attack. Sadly, schadenfreude never woke up. :(
Lame I know, but I can't think of anything else.
the PAM died from a gunshot wound. so much for being bullet proof. I didn't bother to read through and see if someone had said that already, so to make mine original, let me add that bulletproofdork's bullet-protecting-dorkiness was compromised when too many people began to re-define their definition of the word dork, and bulletproofdork no longer fit into the dork category. By losing her dork status, she lost her bullet-proof status as well, and when the bullet hit her, she was extrememly surprised. She raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth in disbelief when the bullet hit. Then she fell backwards and died. They had to have a closed casket because they couldn't shut her eyes and no amount of make-up could disguise her final expression of disbelief. The funeral directors thought it inappropriate to have an open casket service given the circumstances so they shut the coffin on bulletproofdork's wide-eyed, bewildered corpse
Dateline: WE DON'T EVEN KNOW...
It could have been Dunwitch, or perhaps Arkham, it wouldn't be too farfetched to even say Innsmouth, though that rotting town by the sea was supposingly destroyed, but anyhoo, a corpse of a woman, (or what used to be a woman might be a better description) was found near the crick in a strange blue robe. Even more bewilderingly, her skin was blue, and autopsy reports indicate natural hue. She or it, possibly, for she was partially transformed into a fish like creature had been shot, stabbed, and hanged. This reporter had the unfortunate morbid curiosity to see the autopsy photos. I might also have burned the creature at the stake, if I had found it at my door…
lightning flashed through the sky on a dark stormy night. Pendragon was sitting in his nice home reading a good book when the lights went out. not thinking anything of it, he got up to grab the flashlight he had for such emergencies. Something mysteriously drew his eyes to the couch, not seeing anything, he turned away, but he prepared himself to work into his dragon form at a moments notice, should that assassin show up again. lightning flashed once, but nothing happened. As he turned away, lightning flashed again to reveal a form reclining on the sofa as if it were his own. "Hello" said the form. Were there was a human, a dragon stood and watched the lone assassin with cunning eyes, daring him to move. "I figured it was you the minute the lights went out." slowly, fluidly standing up, the the assassin opened his palm to reveal a small flame, illuminating a face with scar-lined eyes. unseeing eyes. " Does this make it easier to see my friend?"
"Much" said the dragon reluctantly, "i have not needed to learn how to see in the dark."
the lightning struck again and before it had stopped, the assassin had a long blade dripping with blood in his hand. The dragon's head rolled to stop on the floor. The body of the dragon immediately turned to ash, as well as the head and blood. The thunder clap muffled the front door opening and closing. The assassin said to himself as he walked down the rain swamped street. "That should do for about 20 years. Then the hunt shall start again."
The person above me loved his youthful beauty so much that he wish upon a star to never age another day. So that night a giant piano fell from the sky and landed on him. It left him dead, never to have a wrinkle by his eye or a grey hair on his head.
Nine and tweny blackbirds baked in a pie!
Actions always trancending praise, Andyave, felt stragely motivated to act on dark rainy night. Standing up with aclarity, she tossed her novel towards her sofa, and moved to the closent to get her raincoat. The book moved like a thing possed, bouncing off the couch and threading a narrow path into the young woman's kitchen. The book struck two butcher knives on the sink. One spun back along the path, bounced handle off the sofa, and caught the young woman in the chest as she turned to go. The other spun out an open window.
Silently the blade dropped eight stories to an apparently empty sidewalk. But then a figure collapsed, the wayward blade having severed his spinal cord. X carefully began a healing sleep trance, all the while wondering how the Dragon, whom he knew had not yet had time to reform, had managed this. Somehow, X was certain the Dragon had... Somehow...
Condemned as he was by the other Immortals, the great elemental Dragon, Pendragon sought another human host. As had been decreed, he could not take the human by force, the human must bear the burden willingly. A suitable host he found relaxing in a book-filled room. The essence of the Dragon apppeared and set forth the details of the bargin.
The young man looked at the Dragon: "You offer longer life, slightly increased strength and reflexes. I could not die except by violence?"
"All true. I need your body so that I can materialize mine own. Some men have live centuries with me as their "other". It is a fair bargin. Do you accept?"
The man laughed bitterly. "Do you have a clue who I am?"
"No. You are a young, strong male. Your mind is strong. You are easy to contact."
"I am Remington Colt, that's who I am! Do you know how many ghosts are in this room right now?" The young man's voice was a shreik. "45! I see ghosts all the time! I am a Private Investigator for the Dead! You think I would want to extend this life? It's true, the dead pay well for my services. But I am haunted day and night. Get out of here! One come's who says you're responsible for his death anyway! Now leave me alone!"
And with no body to enter at the moment, Pendragon was forced to withdraw into the spirit world. Perhaps another day...
Sad when you have to kill yourself...
yep pen, that it is.
so with pen being sad that he had to kill himself, and X barely finished with his healing sleep, they both sat in a solitary place in the spirit world talking and chatting, chatting and talking. Pen, in his spirit form lit a fire for the two of them as it was getting colder.
"So, you got rejected again didn't you Pen?"
"Yes I did, seems no one wants to share their body with me, it's all about living fast and dying quick now a days."
"eh, oh well, you still got 2 years for me to completely regenerate, and for the moment, just relax, don't think about speeding up the process, one always comes looking for you, you know that. Think about the good stuff in this spirit world." X whipped out a blade and severed Pen's head, Pen's body disappeared then reapeared with a pop where it was orginally, in the sam econdition as before, "such as that." said X as he chuckled at his own joke. Pen opened his mouth and breathed fire on X, turning him into a pile of ash.
When X reappeared, he said, "Ok, i see your point."
Our good friend X was on his way home from the grocery store, and because he got more loaded down with goodies than he had intended, decided to hail a cab.
He hopped in the car, not noting the blank expression of the driver, dictated his address and sat back while the car took off. Before he could say Jiminy Cricket, the car was in warp speed. In a panic, X banged on the front head-rest for the driver to calm down, but instead the car went even faster.
The last thing X saw in the rear view mirror from his own position in the back seat was a blank face. It was the Grim Reaper himself, driving that car down down down, where it gets very hot .... :alien:
I didn't like the look of things I can tell you that. The blonde was a etching on the floor in black and white, with a liberal amount of red tossed in for contrast. Where her clothes had vanished too was another puzzle. Stark in the candlelight and shadows.
From the blood-loss alone, I figured her already for the wagon and the cooler. She hissed blood at me from between white teeth.
"You'll need the divining chart, that circle of wood with letters on the table."
"You need an ambulance!" I said hastily.
She sucked in a breath and laughed bitterly. "Now you're being a fool. Only my will is keeping me alive. They are experts, I'll give them that."
She grimaced and spat painfully more blood. "Wider. Wider Shins. Blast me! Wider Shins!"
Gasping, she pointed at a pair of gold dividers. "Set to skip every other letter. Wider. Wider Shins. Made them hersesel. Go around third row in in by Wider, and ye'll know who killed me."
She died in a couching fit. I never found any named Shins in the district, though several suspicious "Widders" were arested. The line around the third row, in a straight line would go, clockwise from a 12 o'clock [B]Z, R, A, I. O. K, X, A, Z, B, M, S, L, I. B, T, V, I, H, U, P, Y, and back to the Z. The was a small mark but the second I by the dividers told us nothing. Old Wider Shins keeps her secrets
CAN YOU SOLVE?
It was the type of night when a cop like myself feels like shooting the next fool who lies to me and then tries to run so I gotta chase his tail and drag him back, when if he'd just played it cool and followed my orders, I'd have never suspected he had cocaine stashed under the seat. God I get tired of that routine!
Got a call about a strange driving car out at Bloodville Curve. That's what we cops called it after finding that blonde a week or so ago. I had fifty nightmares just driving over there.
The car was new, a crimson Dodge Spider. It was parked, which was good as I was more than reasonably sure it could out run me. A young woman stepped from it. Her face was classic Asian beauty. She wore a dark kimono and a red leather duster with boots and gloves that matched.
"I read the papers. Are the tell-tale and dividers still here?"
I must have looked like a first class idiot? "The dividers are. What is this thing you call a tell-tell?"
She smiled. "A circle of wood with letter."
Feeling like a fool, I said, red-faced. "Yeah. They are on the table."
"Then we must go inside, so I can name your murderer."
"Now, lady, that place is like a butcher pen. Blood everywhere. Smell is horrible. You sure you want—?”
Somehow she already had my keys and was inside, so I hurried on in. The lady was looking at the tell-tale, running her fingers over the surface. She stopped by on of the I’s in the third row of letters.
“Did she speak before death?”
“Yeah, I though it all delirium, considering what they’d done to her. She kept talking about a woman, a Wider. Wider Shins, She claimed that this Wider Shins made those dividers to skip ever other letter. ‘Go around the third row in by Winder and you know who killed me.’”
The line around the third row, clockwise from a 12 o'clock Z, R, A, I. O. K, X, A, Z, B, M, S, L, I. B, T, V, I, H, U, P, Y, and back to the Z. The lady’s finger went to the Z and walked backwards to the first I. “There is a mark here. Hand me the dividers. Officer, Wider Shins is not a person at all. It is a direction. It means to go opposite the path of the sun. Counterclockwise. Widdershins”
Swiftly she passed the dividers over the tell-tale in reverse, starting from the marked point. “ I, T, I, S, B A K I R Y U. It is Bakiryu.”
“Amazing work!” I said “Need a job?”
She smiled. “I have a very important one.”
And she vanished and a great dragon flew away, with that car nestled in one of his paws…
Sadly, Pen took his dragon obsession to its logical, delusional conclusion. He attracted a small crowd on the ground far below the office building as he spread his arms with a great cape on, and for some reason a toy car in his mouth, and leapt. You see, he thought he was a dragon, but sadly he failed to master the laws of physics and fell to his demise. Some speculate he was trying to fly with another directive: "throw yourself at the ground, and miss." He failed to miss, however, and died in obscurity, though he'll always be well remembered here at the Olive Garden...no wait, where are we again?