I dunno what is going on but Pendragon is not allowed to leave.
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I dunno what is going on but Pendragon is not allowed to leave.
The good news is I have an appointment with my doctor on the 26th, hopefully to help resolve some issues. The bad news is this depression gets worse every day. However, I have heard you and I stay, even if I may not post as much. So relax, jajdude, I'm not going anywhere...Quote:
Originally Posted by jajdude
Good to know dear Pen.
Hope the fog lifts.
The deadline seems to have come and gone with this thread, or has it been extended?
Sorry guys, I lost track of the deadline a bit. But here are your results finally!
YesNo: I've always loved how you manage to portray a complete thought in so few lines. People often forget that before Galileo, no one even knew of Saturn's stunning set of rings. Wouldn't it be a tragedy if still today we regarded it as only another dot in the sky?
Pendragon: I hope you will continue to post here on LitNet long into the future. I liked your comparison to Saturn's rings to the patterns of ripples in a pond. Lovely poem.
Hawkman: You poem showed the true dramatic irony which is true not only with Saturn but many of the other planets, in that its great namesake has been forgotten in modern society. Interesting take on my picture.
prendrelemick: When I read your poem I pictured the type of beauty possessed by supermodels, lovely yet coldhearted, much like a Greek statue. Your last two lines left me breathless and thoughtful. Nicely written.
This was a very difficult choice to make, as everyone managed to take a unique interpretation of my picture. But finally I narrowed it down to only one, so the winner is.......
tailor STATELY: Your lovely descriptions created stunning images of Saturn in my mind. I felt your poem described the planet in all its beauty most accurately and in the most detail. I must admit I had to look up a couple of words (chatoyancy... I'll have to use that one sometime :)), but after that the images you portrayed revealed themselves to me beautifully. I believe without even knowing of Saturn at all I could have pictured it in my mind in all its glory. Beautifully done, and congradulations!
Congrats ts and thanks to moonbird for setting the challenge and assessing the results.
Go get 'em, Tiger :D
Thank you moonbird and Hawkman, et al. I had fun writing and researching.
The next deadline will be 6/15 (or there abouts).
And here is the new picture:
Enter and tell your friends !
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY
Congratulations, tailor STATELY! Here's a contribution toward your contest.
Below the Bridge
While gazing underneath the bridge
More of the world comes shining through
Much like when gazing in your eyes
Where all the world is a surprise
And I don't tire of watching you.
Great eye, brick lidded,
lashes wrought of scroll carved stone,
you gaze with Buñuel’s vision
on a world bisected
by the razor's edge.
A bridge between reality and troubled dreams,
your horizontal pupil
is the gateway to a predatory soul.
As I walked that morning
I began to wonder
what side of the world
I was truly on
the one above the water
or the one below.
I slept there once and my dreams had the same symmetry,
It was an entanglement of fury and dearth.
When I woke and my back ached I was
Sad to realize the river had forgotten me.
If your eye is focused, the whole body is filled with light."
This quote is from the Bible and seems excellently applied
This wooden eye sees the same thing every day and night
As if watching over the scene is a need to be supplied
What is in that distant building is any body's guess
The fence in front seems to be so fragile and no protection
I wonder why the secrecy, and I must profess
I wonder if it is just another somewhat secret government section
Are they dissecting aliens there and learning their technology?
Have they created one more method of destroying human life?
Is it a countdown to doomsday that affects their chronology?
The watchful eye sees it all, you could cut tension with a knife
Looking through the eye I see the mysterious buildings there before me
Do I really want to know what goes on behind barred doors?
Looking for some answers I feel Mother Night enfold me
I guess I can't change anything, the world goes on as before...
Pendragon
Hasten! Take cover
For the Death's Eye Eyes
All that comes its viewfinder
Hither and thither and all
As the Sun sets or it doth rise!
Death is mean, Death is cruel
It's evil eye's always cast on Life's jewel!
Dragon's Eye
Take a view
through a dragon's eye
while he slumbers
lost within distant dreams
which rise from the fog
of a far off past,
yet trapped in his tears
of the looming future.
A world which has
shaped without
a trace of his mark
left, but the occasional
murmurs.
Voices which
trickle down
like out of season
rain, and carefree
laughter of wayward souls
who know not
of the beast
sleeping just beneath
their feet.
Take a moment
to escape
your reality
and see the world
through his opaque
glimmering eye.
A hollow arch of light that promises a rising of the day,
and yet no day will rise,
and yet night will plummet like an insect
to death,
completing the circle of the dark.
Wonderful entries, I enjoyed them all. Though curious why half had no titles? And now the hardest part:
YesNo - Yours was the most upbeat interpretation of the picture - and left us with the memorable lines:
"Much like when gazing in your eyesWhere all the world is a surpriseAnd I don't tire of watching you."- though a better balance might have been struck using 'into your eyes' perhaps.
Hawkman - Ok, I admit I had to research Buñuel. I understood the title translation having had studied French (and German) in school days long ago; but the wild ride I was thrust into when combining the two was worth the price of admission. My only quibble with the poem would be to consign the word 'is' to another work.
Moonbird - LOL. Your musings reminded me of Jack Sparrow found coping in a surreal netherworld (in Pirates:3 I believe). Well done.
jajdude - Your poem opened up a slew of questions: Why were you there? Back ache? Why would the river forget so? You left me wanting; more, more.
Pendragon - Perhaps the most prodigious interpretation. "Do I really want to know what goes on behind barred doors?", LOL, in this instance I did. What of light ?
mazHur - A most frenetic tone! that cooled with "Hither and thither" and "As the sun sets or doth rise!" I did enjoy your ending couplet very much - though "It's evil eye's" is not without poetic license.
Dark Muse - I must admit I thought this would have been Pendragon's realm of discovery. Your ending was most noteworthy:
"Take a moment
to escape
your reality
and see the world
through his opaque
glimmering eye."
breathtest - A wonderful start:
"A hollow arch of light that promises a rising of the day,"
And the winner is, well, I vacillated twice- so , I would like to give a gold, a silver, and a bronze:
Bronze to Yes/No
Silver to Hawkman
and the winner: Gold to Dark Muse
Congratulations all !
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY
Oh wow thank you! I will get to work on thinking up a new picture.
congrats. Dark Muse!!
Good job Muse
Nice poem, Muse! :):):)
Congrats Dark Muse!
Thank you!
Ok here is your next picture
http://th07.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/...nd-d31l61c.jpg
Is it the wet grass he has become, the harmony of
thin blades as they lean upon one another?
And in the moonlight, as the wine bottle was placed
upon the tombstone to quietly mark this death,
a young woman stumbled away
with the stains of his life upon her knees.
That's a really good picture by the way, Dark Muse. And congratulations on your recent win.
Reminder of Last Night
The gravestones were from long ago.
We chose to party there last night,
The two of us. They'll never know.
The grass now sparkles in the light.
Thanks to the two brave souls who started things off with their great entries.
Deadline July 10th
Keep them coming!
For Shame
A grave should be a place of eternal rest
So why do people treat them with little respect?
An empty beer bottle sitting next to a grave
Of some remembered soul so good and so brave
Is it so hard to bring flowers as a token of love
To remember the life of someone now passed above?
The grass is uncut, there's a tone of neglect
Why do people treat graves with so little respect?
Pendragon
Wow! What a lovely ditty!!:)Quote:
Originally Posted by Pendragon
Rejoice, folks! I am not Dead
I lie here for eternal Life;
A coward's bullet in the battle field
Cut a Hero's Heart like a blunt knife!
My Friends do not think I am Dead
I am traversing a Life beyond Life
A Life which only Hero's claim
A reward for their Heroic Strife.
Weep not, my dear, at my mound
It holds me like a baby in mother's womb
I get nourished by ethereal sap
Oozing out from all around my tomb.
O dear visitor! Be kind to my Soul
Sit down and drink until you drop
Leave behind the goblets small
Let bottle after bottle gently plop.
Let the tips of green grass around sparkle
With Stars of life-giving dewy wine
Let the holy soil of my last abode
Smell sweeter with the redolence of vino fine! !
i went to the graveyard today
to see my husband
who'd lived for the bottle
loved it like a child
(not that he had
ever loved a child
or a woman
for that matter)
and then let it
seize control of him
and
when i found him
that morning
the bottle was still
clutched in his hand
(his cold hand so cold)
and i thought
perhaps
if he's still there
somewhere
and he can see me
as i go to visit him
every Sunday
then he'll want to have
just one drink more
from his beloved bottle
and i thought
perhaps
if i bring him his bottle
so he can drink and be happy
as he pretended to be
in life
then maybe
he'll remember me
wherever he is
and reserve for me
a spot in his heart
right next to
his beloved bottle
so I went to that cupboard
in the kitchen
which had always been his
before he
left
and opened it up
and took a bottle out
that he'd been saving
to drink the next morning
(not knowing
there'd be no next morning
no next anything
forever oblivion
after he closed his eyes
that night)
and i blew the dust off it
and
i went out the door
i forgot the flowers
i'd bought for him
on the table at home
i don't think he'd have wanted them
anyway
Will try to contribute soon. Picture had me thinking Poe.
Good Lieutenant, you're in the earth now,
I brought two dollar wine up, for what it's worth now.
Nevermind the sonuva***** infront of you,
who tries to drink it down.
And who does you this kindness?
Tell me, who could it be?
On the glass, slim fingerprints of a lover?
or maybe that sonuva*****, Henry,
buried with no wedding ring
because he solved a mystery.
Good Lieutenant, you're in the earth now.
Oh my good lieutenant, in the hearth how
hungeredly fire eats white day photos
of Henry standing next to your lover,
who leaves tears two-times in dirty ground.
Thanks to those who have entered thus far and just to remind you deadline is in a couple of days!
I want to thank you all who entered. As always I enjoyed reading your works and it was a tough job choosing a winner but without further delay here goes:
breathest: A very moving poem which creates quite a vivid picture. When I first started reading I was concerned that it felt a bit too much like a literal description of the picture but than those last lines really made them poem and was beautifully done.
YesNo: I thought this created some lovely imagery. I really liked the concept of the poem, and the fact that it had a touch of playfulness to it and there was just a great atmosphere. The opening and closing lines I thought were quite well done and really gave the poem a nice rounded feeling.
Pendragon: I liked the fact that you took a bit of a different perspective on the picture. Your poem really had a very somber tone to it with a touch of regret, and the lamenting tone of this poem really brought that feeling of absence through. There were some very beautiful lines. I particularly really liked "Of some remembered soul so good and so brave" I also thought this line was beautifully stated "The grass is uncut, there's a tone of neglect"
moonbird: I just loved the opening lines of this poem:
i went to the graveyard today
to see my husband
who'd lived for the bottle
loved it like a child
That really caught my attention from the start and I did really like the direction in which you took the poem. How you did focus more upon creating a story around the individual in the grave and the life they may have had. I enjoyed your unique approach, but in the middle chunk of your poem it began to read like a run on sentence which broke the flow of the poem and well made it hard to read all in one breath and grasp what was being said.
Jack of Hearts: I loved the start of this poem and I thought that there was some beautiful writing there was something about it that was quite compelling and kept my attention yet at the same time there was also a baffling aspect of it. I am left feeling like there is something I am missing or do not quite understand. I am not sure I grasp the full meaning of the poem and just what is really being conveyed.
But the winner goes to
mazHur: I loved the tone and concept of your poem which I think most reflects my own personal thoughts. The way in which you embrace the idea that it can be a joyous occasion and a celebration and that it need not necessarily be strictly a solemn affair. I like that uplifting feeling which the poem leaves at the end, and that wish expressed from beyond the grave that those left behind continue to enjoy life. I also though you had a very good use of rhyme and there were some great lines expressed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Muse
Thank you, DarkMuse, for liking my poem and declaring me the winner!!
I borrowed the basic idea for the poem from the life and works of the great Persian poet Hafiz Shirazi.......... it is said that even today the grave of Hafiz (in Iran) smacks of wine which is poured by his visiting admirers as a token of their love for him!!
regards/Maz
here is the next picture..
http://www.flixxy.com/future-shopping-image2.jpg
Way to go, mazHur! Would there be a larger version of the picture available anywhere?
I hope this size image works better....sorry can't do it more:) Please zoom in manually for a larger size!!
http://www.flixxy.com/future-shopping-image2.jpg
Shopping
Her hands are resting on her hips.
She imitates the ad.
Those clothes would wear as well on her.
The color's not half bad.
Congrads, Maz, and thanks for your kind comment on my own poem. True sportsmanship! I gotta think about this picture for a while. Hummmmmm.....
As florescent lights wash the room
draining color from her flesh like a blotter
pale are her clothes in shades of gray doom
reflective of her life grown somber.
Time and seasons of change meet technology
transformed images via remote control
Make-over's image, a stark dichotomy
Lady in Red begins her new life untold