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She did it her way
There was a funeral service today for one Kiz Paws, and I must tell you it was the strangest I ever attended. All of us LitNetters were there, of course. She lay in a white Cadillac, holding a sign that read: "Non, je ne regrette rien", French for "No, I regret nothing." Then the music started. I've never heard "My Way" played at a funeral before! For a long moment we all stared at the corpse, thinking this must be a sick joke and she would get up and laugh at us for thinking her deceased. But no, the funeral continued with a mime doing the service, and the next song was "Have a Nice Day." They buried her, Cadillac and all to the tune of Elvis Presley's "Jailhouse Rock
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Pendragon broke the rules of the forum, by not telling how Kiz died, and the fabric of space time wavered, and snapped, and split him in two. The snap, or rip, or tear, or whatever it was in space time also transformed the world, and we think, the universe. All the colours are different, everyone is behaving different- everything waves around all the time. We're not sure at all what this new world is going to be like, the changes seemed to affect everything here...Thank you, Pen.
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what nikolai thought weas the end of the world caused by a dragon( i will get you one day) it was really a large amount of heroin that caused a severe overdose, nikolai didn't have any idea who loaded the needle, hmm, i wonder?
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After X returned to the lit-net all were overcome with joy, suddenly a fangirl flung herself upon him. Alas, she hugged him to tight and he chocked.
(*HIYA X!*)
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Baikryu was reading, when the doorbell rang. She got off of her couch, extremely annoyed.
Reaching for the door, she opened it. To her suprise, there stood Barney, the purple dino.
Barney lunged foreward-cutting of Baikryu's head. . .Then he went outiside and BBQed her head.
Don't worry about the body. . . he flushed it down the potty.
:)
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Bulletproof was stunned to learn that a melon doesn't work well as a bulletproof helmet...all of her theories turned out false when a stray bullet from a gang fight hit her. Someone fired up in the air, and it landed on her, killing her instantly. Her killer was never known.
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Nik, who secretly dreamed of being a girl, woke up to find there were two of ah, them... That is there was the usual male Nik and a female Nik who bore a startling resemblance to a picture Nik had seen made by one Pendragon, the human half of the Dragon symbiont. As both proclaimed themselves to be the real Nik, The Dragon opened a dimensional portal to sweep out his hoard cave. The detritus fell on the arguing two Niks who were now fighting and pulling hair, and as a Dragon's cave has heavy stuff in it, both are believed destroyed, although the Dragon scratched a rune atop the pile and murmured something in the Dragon tongue. Perhaps a burial rite—or not. Dragons have been known to return people from the dead…
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Pendragon, Literature Network Guru of the lighter side via the creative use of word and image, might have passed on today but was saved by another catharsis in extremis.
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Quasimodo wanted to be poet so much he sold his soul to the devil, however upon reading his poetry was seized with anger and misspellings and his head exploded in a shower of brainy bits :)
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Baki was messing around with national defense computer systems (as a virus) and the computer techs eventually figured out it was an intelligent virus with no corereal body. They began to wage war on her, basically shutting down the internet everywhere, and she fled from one system to another, until all that remains of her is a primitive worm virus in a basement computer, a 386, that has no connection to the outside world, or any resemblence of the old Bakiryu. Thus she died.
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I think tis my fate to kill you... and it is your fate to die.
nik, hmmm, how does thou die? aww, i just saw how, you got in a car accident, but low, not any normal accident. for it was no accident someone on litnet perpously killed him, on top his car was painted a giant..... B!
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*rubs hands together evilly* I get to kill Shurt, AGAIN. :banana:
Shurtugal was digging a hole in her front yard, when she got a wiff of a terrifying odor coming from inside the house.
She hurried inside to investigate-
-and never came out again.
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Bullet donned her favorite melon cap as protection from squirting fruit in the chocolate fondue she was attending this evening. Sadly, things went wrong right from the start. Firstly, the chocolate was not of the sweetened variety, so the guests whacked her on the head with their forks out of pure disappointment of wasting perfectly good fruit on horrid melted chocolate. But then the fun began. The fondue pot started to bubble in an evil boil and the chocolate got so hot that it cracked the pot and spurted out in a jetstream that landed all over Bullet's little green cap and the heat melted not only the cap, but the brain beneath it.... Poor little Bullet, we will miss you!
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Kiz died mysteriously one night. She heard the little kitten in her avvie crying so she went to find out what was wrong. When she found it, the cute little fuzzball ballooned to the size of an elephant and started chasing her. Kiz ran as fas as her legs could carry her, but she was no match for the ginormous fuzzball. She was swallowed in one gulp. The only evidence of her was what was licked from the chops of the kitten, who then returned to ins regualr sized, adorable self to hunt down another litnetter...
haha that was fun.
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A Classical Case of Death
Oh she was a girl with a classical charm,
And as mysterious as the nightwinds of course.
About twelve o’clock yestereve they sounded the alarm,
For the maid was trampled on by her horse!
No it wasn’t the dapple, that one’s far too shy,
Nor the black beauty over there with the blaze.
It was that brown rotter, such a nasty tempered guy,
It was his hooves that ended her days.
Death bring round the carriage, by dusky horses drawn,
And let us load her poor body aboard.
There’s a spot over there neath the willow on the lawn,
Where we shall lay her to sleep neath the sward.
All story’s have morals and the moral of this one is told:
Be careful of horses, some of them don’t quite fit the mold…
Pendragon
© 9/20/07
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The villagers that keep trying to kill Pen eventually give up and worship him instead. Pen realizes it's wrong to accept such worship, but he decides that since he is a good person, he can do good with his position. Then somehow he gets transported to the filming of Braveheart, when they filmed it those years ago...except suddenly the film crews disappear and he is stuck in Medeival England! His brain cannot withstand the strain, and he starts running around warning people of William Wallace...and then, of course, a disease he brought with him kills everyone in the 13th century... Pen just destroys humanity. He eventually dies after living in hermitage, and being the only alive Human, many years later. Pen! Alas! You slew us all! But we still miss you!
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NikolaiI was so tired he decided to see what life was like outside his window. He leaned, leaned, leaned farther until. BAM! he hit the ground. We shall miss him indeed. :(
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Ryu fell after me...:(
And the person after the person after me was killed in a plot by their father...from preventing them from eloping...
What an awfully tragic world we live in.
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Nik accepted passage on a beautiful pea-green boat with and owl and a pussy-cat. They marooned him on an island with an enormous pig. Since Nik and the pig did NOT get along and there was only enough food for one, they had a battle.
"You're going down, girlie-boy!" The big boar, snarled, cracking his knuckles. (Of course pigs have knuckles. You can buy them in the supermarket!)
"Right. When pigs fly, fatso!" Nik took his stance.
That's when the flying pork hit the fan. Bye, Nik! http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l1.../flyingpig.gif
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just when ye thought ye were safe, x returned to dispel the any sense of security.
pen found himself walking down the halls in his old highschool. So much had changed since he left, so much had been added to that he quickly got lost. he looked in one if the rooms to see if a teacher could help him get back out, all of the students turned and looked at him. The teacher, noticing who caused the disturbance politely asked if there was anything he needed help with. Pen politely presented his problem. Out of nowhere, a student in the back of the room laughed a deep murderously, evil laugh. The student was wearing a long dark brown cloak with the hood up, casting the eyes into shadow. Pen never having seen the person, but knowing all too well who he was, became pale with fear. Suddenly, the student leaped across the room and rammed a knife into Pen's heart. Pen woke up from the dream almost instantly. Pen raised his head from the pillowand saw a long blade with a dragon as the hilt with a card attached to it. "Courtesy of a lone assassin."
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Hahahahahahhahah ha hahahahhaaha
silent thought he'd lost his mind as his world spun out of control. he suddenly found the city he'd lived in to be sinister- it'd all gone to hell. his love and he had been meeting in secret for months, and the tragedy unfolded as it always does. last night he found himself running through the streets, all confused- what was he to do? i don't even know the story, i just know the ending; when he turned a corner and was met with four men in black coats. he was found shot to death, a note in his hand, from his beloved..."meet me at the docks tonight at midnight"...the same old story, the details trivial, and pointless.
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(I wonder what happened to x. He hasn't been here in ages)
Nikolai died when his stalely home crumbled in on him. It was so stalely he didn't have time to RUN!
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Well, bakiryu, I shall have fun telling this story to you as you die from the poison slipped in your drink.
I have been gone for oh so long that I was starting to go into Litnet withdrawals. The thign that kep tme away from this beautiful site was the land of debate class, which through me into sales speech prison who's main guard was Black Belt test. (I tell you no lie, those were the actual names)but I have valiantly returned so that i may get on with my litnet career
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X was creeping along so slowly that he seemed to flow rather than actually move. His target was not far away and he was willing himself to be silent for the one strike kill. That's when he went through the deminisional barrier and found himself before a massive dragon. The dragon was picking his teeth with a long-bladed knife. X removed two katanas from his back sheaths.
The dragon chuckled. "This is yours, I think. Returning it."
X glanced down to see the dagger sticking out of his chest. The dragon yawned? "Think I have you extra-crispy." Fire was the last thing X saw.
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"thanks for the gift", said X as he calmly removed the blade from his slightly smoking body. The dragon warily eyed the hole. "Where is your blood, every living thing must have flowing blood to spread oxygen to the rest of the body, and to keep the creature warm."
"I am not entirely living." said X
"Live or dead, you shall still BURN!" said the mighty dragon as a wall of flame burst forth from between his razor-like teeth. X stood straight as the fire rolled over him, but not touching his clothes or his skin. When the torrent stopped, again, X was still standing. The dragon settled down on the ground in a slow lazy-like fashion, presenting the facade of calm. Underneath, he was ready to spring. he was a wise dragon, he realized after two burnings, that fire had no effect what-so-ever on X. The dragon needed to strategize. he eyed his quarry. Fire had not worked, what about ice? No it would only cause him to be immoblie, which was no good, because the dragon wanted to eat the assassin. The air! The dragon with a great lift of his wings lanuched himself into the air. He looked below to prepare for a dive to slash and rake with his huge evil talons. Knowing the assassin waited and had an enormous amount of patience, waiting for the prey to show its weakness, and knowing that he himself had no weakness, plotted his attack route. It was going to be a complicated manuever and a dangerous one at that, for it involved several sweeps that came close so the assassin may jump upon his back and proceed to wear his opponent out with small blows like water on rocks. His eyes tracked his path, sweeping over his soon-to-be prey several times. Each sweep, instead of showing the assassin with a clear image, showed him more and more blurred until finally, there was nothing. a voice resounded through the dragon's mind, "Ah, no weakness of the body other than your soul is open to the world, and when there is no weakness of the body, work inside to out." The dragon let out a roar as it lost control of its body, falling to earth. It had died before it touched the ground, there was not a piece of sould, just an empty shell which tore itself apart, bursting into flame, leaving no ash. The assassin slipped away into the night, licking something shiny off of his fingers.
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the silent x was found smothered by his own bandana
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nikolai was found with a microphone cord attaching his neck to the balcony of a theater.
details at 8:00
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silent got transported into feudal japan, got caught in gang wars and died in a knife fight.
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Nikki got caught in a standoff with X. They're still at it right now.
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Baki tried to save me from dying in a gun fight, but was gunned down.
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nikolai died of a fatal food alergy he developed while visiting Michigan, USA, according to his family he had no allergy before he left. another thing that was surprising is the allergy was to his food. the chararcter who took him to dinner seemed to be adamant about no one seeing a S with a slash through it on the back of his hands, and, the person in question mysteriously disappeared into an empty wall when pursued by reporters
the silent x strikes again
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X drived off the San Fransico Bridge.
Is that even possible?
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Disturbance At The BallGame
Was a Packer’s Fan, thought Bret Farve the man,
In attendance every single game they played.
Oh the plays the ran, more complicated than
A Bill written to keep the Congress swayed.
Then it was fourth down, and Packers giving ground,
With Minnesota really on the move.
Out in the rowdy crowd, yelling and screaming loud,
Someone got just a little bit rude and crude.
“You can’t say that to me, take it back, buddy!
“I’m a Packer’s Fan to the bone!
“And I don’t find that funny, would you like to bleed—
“One of us just might not make it back home!”
The ground grew red, truer words were never said:
“Give us this day our daily bread, PackersFan is dead…”
Pendragon
© 10/16/07
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l1...lomKane/GB.jpg
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pendragon was beaten to death by a psychotic teenager after making a comment about the text of the childs t-shirt...
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Since by definition, Zombie never was truly alive, to kill a Zombie is like gilding a lily. However, Pendragon, in his human persona, had studied many and varied things and knew that since salt would revive Zombies, pepper likely would stop them. Pepper proved to be effective, and the Zombie fell into a stagnant clump of rotten flesh.
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ow man... pepper... not cool...
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Zombie was taken out by actor Bruce Campbell, making the umteenth personal appearence at a halloween showing of the cult classic Army of Darkness. Bruce, in character as Good Ash, forgot he actually had a working chainsaw on his supposed cut-off hand, when Zombie tapped him on the shoulder and asked for an autograph. Still in character, he spun around menacingly, and lopped off Zombie's head with the chainsaw. Sadly, he thought Zombie just another prop, and proceeded to finish the bloody task as hundreds of lame movie freaks screamed their applause!
http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l1...ne/GoodAsh.jpg
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Pen cannot die. He's immortal!
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NikolaiI died chocked my an angry person who also bashed him in the head with a frying pan. :p
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Baki had lived so long with the pain she invited all the Death Gods she could think of to come get her. The Grim Reaper, Yama, Shi, Shinigami, Hela, Azrael, Mortis, Charon, Mot, Cizin, Anubis, Thanatos, ‘Izra’il, Goryo, and Izanami were all there. Unfortunately for Baki, they couldn't all take her, so they began a long game of Texas Hold-Um Poker. Before long, fights broke out over who was cheating. Ruki finally told them all in a no nonsense voice to go to the underword, she'd just as so live, thank you very much! All the Gods of Death grumbled about a wasted trip and immeditly began fighting over who's fault it was, even as they exited this world.
