Pam

The PAM's dreams frighten little children.

The PAM frightens the monsters under little children's beds and in their closets.

Haha, again with the poor insults :p

The PAM secretly wants to be a bearded lady :)

That hurt! I am a bearded lady!

The PAM openly wishes he were me. How sad is that? :p

Now who's being delusional? :p

The PAM not only wishes she were me, but she goes as far as to try to look like me!

I'm even growing a beard!

Sorry to say that in this case, the copy (me) does look a lot better than the original (the PAM) :p

The PAM goes through many razors.

The PAM thinks she's fast, but she really isn't at all! It's all due to relativity!

The PAM thinks he persuaded us he knew what he was talking about, while he failed miserably ;)

The PAM wouldn't know the difference between a string and a zero dimensional point if she saw one! :p

That's true. Wouldn't notice it even if it smashed me between my eyes :p

The PAM is a slimey octopus with 5 amputated tentacles.

And you want to look like me! :p

The PAM is someone who likes to terrorize people with her powers, but everybody knows who's the real sherrif in town, making her a laughing stock :p

The PAM got kicked out of a psychiatric asylum, he is too mad even for them to handle.

Something Mcmurphy didn't even manage to do! Woohoo! :D

the pam is a shoddy dancer! ;)

The PAM can't keep his mouth shut! Has to spill everything he finds out about me! :p