Enjoying the entries so far... Monday the 13th of April 2015 the final day for submissions.
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY
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Enjoying the entries so far... Monday the 13th of April 2015 the final day for submissions.
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY
Great entries all !... made it difficult at best to select one winner:
YesNo:
Whistle
Alice will be on this train
That’s whistling through the freezing rain.
The whistle’s warning: take it slow.
She’s come from miles where you can’t go.
AABB: 7/8/8/8... Interesting little ditty. Brings to mind: Alice of Alice's restaurant/Alice through the Looking glass/Alice B Toklas/ et al
Pompey Bum:
Whistle or Stolen Tea
whistle wet
a kettle rattling
her little hat
and you prattling
our tongues at last
embrace the thing
we brave the blast
and let her sing
Fun. A kettle's whistle: A/B/A(w/a soft rhyme)/B A/B/A/B... L4: I might have used a'prattling to keep the timing true; but then a little dissonance to thumb one's nose: priceless.
Gilliatt Gurgle:
Sweet Gums
Whistle through the gristle,
that holds those ivory's tight.
Should one fall out, from sweet excess,
the pitch will change as will the bite!
sibilant_x w/2sillybibbles)/A/sibilant_x w/2sillybibbles)/A: A pickle of a poem that made me smile.
DieterM:
jumping through the breezy spring day
she was
almost levitating
lifting her ample amaranth dress
high and higher
white polka dots gleaming like aftersmiles
shaking her auburn hair
she was
and whistling
itsy bitsy spider
“Aftersmiles” and “whistling itsy bitsy spider”: Delightful.
blank|verse:
deathdread - fearbled - prayersaid
whistle
wiretread - gunshred - bloodshed
white
A sound poem! Or perhaps... hmmm, casting out the irrelevancies: L1 - “Eddie Shredder” found within... Eddie Van Halen ?; L3 - “Her Strange Desire” found within... We get: Eddie Van Halen [phweet! Dude!] Her strange desire a white wedding (like, we all know otherwise {wink.wink.} )
cacian:
to a bird a whistle
to hear it
little
grizzle
or sound
prickle
when something
thickle
Playful - “little grizzle or sound prickle... thickle”:... I be duh thickle... Fo' shizzle !
colb2:
Heard through the rain,
It rang my brain,
Was it a cop?
Should i just stop?
No, just a train!!
AABBA. An alarming poem with a hint of humour. Step on the gas and Go!
.
.
.
After all said and whimsical I choose: DieterM... congratulations! And to one and all, well done.
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY
Well done, Dieter, and I look forward to the next round.
tailor - that's an, um, interesting reading of my entry. I've given it a title now, so perhaps it will make more sense to you.
@ blank|verse: Ahhh, that would have really helped (I should have leaned on one of my recent poems). First I stumbled on what I was pronouncing as "furbled"; then my poor little mind started on the song "Day-O" (The Banana Boat Song) by HB, movie: "Beetlejuice" distributed by WB - directed by TB, starring AB & GD & MK.
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY
tailor STATELY thank you so much for the feedback :)
and Dieter well done :!!
Yes, congratulations Dieter! It reminded me a little of an old Talking Heads song called And She Was.
Thanks everybody, and my apologies for not having answered sooner… hey, I haven't been working for a few days, and when I don't work, I simply forget to turn on my computer! tell-tale sign re. my age, lol ;-) Well, I'm happy you liked my entry, and without further ado a new topic. As I'm playing with a theme for a poem in my head right now, let's see what you all make of it.
Here it goes.
BLUES
whatever comes to mind, you don't need to use the word, just let your imagination overflow. the one that overflows me too will be the winner of this round.
Deadline: May 13, 2015. That okay with everyone? Then let's get started!
Beauty virgin ice
Longing summer sky
Underwater came your limbs
Every blue's a lie
a spate of blues
afloat in melancholy
: ennui
in a spate of blues
: tsunami
surrender to the moment
: jazz
embrace the unfolding fugue
: razzmatazz
4/24/2015
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY
My baby’s eyes are light sky blue.
Her pupils though are black.
And when she’s good the blue shines through,
The white part’s bright and mostly true,
But when she’s bad, what can I do?
That’s why I sent her back.
feel not
the blues
they make
accuse
deny amuse
and the purpose
of life
refuse
instead
cultivate a smile
in abundance it intends
feeling down redundant
Nice entries so far. For those who haven't entered yet: this is an open contest, you're welcome to post your own poem!
As for this round — one week left!
Sadness & Serenity
Calloused fingers
tenderly caressing
guitar strings.
Reflections of the
sky on the eve
of a storm
in your timeless eyes.
The weightlessness
of water for one
brief moment reminds me
of what it means
to be a bird.
tiny branches
have a voice
on icy windowpanes
twigged fingers tap tales
of ice blue glaciers
a continent away
where shooting stars
and northern lights live
ivory gulls
and caribou too
endangered hopes
melted pasts
once sealed within
frozen formations
man's disregard
offends the creator
pity, not to protect
the color of ice blue
for it holds within it
the entire sky
Thanks everybody for joining this round. Great entries!
I've already said this elsewhere in this Forum: I'm pretty lousy when it comes to analyzing poetry.
Each poem holds something for me: Pompey Bum's acrostic conciseness; tailor STATELY's line "afloat in melancholy"; YesNo's wry humour – I hope your poem's not autobiographical ;-) ; only cacian can come up with a phrase like this: "cultivating a smile"; the overall bluesy feel of Dark Muse's lines; Melanie and the image of "tiny branches have[ing] a voice on icy windowpanes" (I clearly saw the picture in my head).
But only one can win. As I announced when choosing the topic, I wanted to be "overflown". And the poem that for me evoked the Blues, spoke of Blues, told a bluesy story with bluesy words:
Dark Muse
Congrats!
Yes, I really liked your poem too Dark Muse!!
DieterM thank you for the feedback and congratulations Dark Muse :)
Thank you everyone. I will have a new subject soon.
Next subject is Retro
Be creative and make of it what you will. Whatever it brings to your mind and means to you.
Deadline: May 25th
Some say my mind is retro,
Beneath the avant-garde.
I like the way I dot my i’s
With drops of blood. I sympathize
With all the modern modes and lies.
It’s changing I find hard.
Bygone
Retro
vintage
heirloom
art deco
Classic
revival
renaissance
pick-up sticks
Antique
antedated
rolled back
movies for a nickel
5/19/2015
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY
These were both two great entries and I think they both really captured the feel of retro quite well.
YesNo: I liked the playfulness of your poem and the way you conveyed a Retro state of mind. I particularly loved the lines:
"I like the way I dot my i’s
With drops of blood. I sympathize"
And I thought the ending tied it all together quite well. A clever poem
But I have to give the win to tailor STATELY
A charming poem that gave a great feeling of nostalgia and really took the reader back into times past.
Thank you Dark Muse !
Next minimalist subject: Music............... deadline June 10.
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY
Why should waves give us repose
With sound that doesn’t mean much? Those
Notes make a difference, short and long,
Together, turning breath to song.
Music
Harmony, melody and rhythm,
All dissipate into nothingness,
Vibrations of the ear
Are all you hear -
Nothing more, nothing less.
Architecture of the mind
Walls of silence and sound
In which you will find
Yourself forever bound.
music
the sound therapeutic
to hear it
daily
is fabulous
mainly
because a note
is like a
flavour of quote
not seen but wrote
memory for it
is devote
I am so torn on deciding.
YesNo: Your poem is spartan to the core. Enjoyed the enjambment and aa bb scheme
North Star: Your poem adds still a bit more. The form abccb dede worked for me.
I especially liked:
“Walls of silence and sound
In which you will find
Yourself forever bound.”
cacian: Free and innocent. My favorite lines: “ because a note/is like a/flavour of quote”.
After much agony I choose: North Star
Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY
Thanks, Tailor.
Next theme: photography.
Deadline: July 6
It’s better than what I can see.
Astigmatism bothers me.
I magnify a photo and
New mysteries I understand.
It’s data, yes, but well-arranged.
Now look again. The world has changed.
That change is finely captured, too,
If I hold to one point of view
And keep the camera steadied on
A change that passes. Ah, it’s gone!
Except I sort of have it still,
Or do I? There’s a kind of thrill
With its brief pleasure or sharp pain
That I might never feel again.
Is that important? Maybe not
Or maybe it is all I’ve got.
a photo
at a click of a button
is solo
memory runs hollow
an image thorough
Camera Obscura
Still life
caught in motion
timeless illusion
it speaks
without words
bump
North Star this overdue :)
another bump this is oderdue
North Star :)
Sorry, I've been busy and absent-minded lately.
Beautiful entries all, but I have to choose YesNo here as it really made me think that it's exactly how I feel about the subject. Dark Muse's sparse meditation is lovely too, and cacian's is good too, and in the always recognizable style. But, YesNo wins this round, as I wrote in the first place.
North Star thank you.
and YesNo congratulations :)
Thanks, North Star! And thanks, cacian!
The next theme is "breathing".
Deadline: the end of July
Breathless
I asphyxiated myself
squeezing out
every last drop,
feeling euphoric
breathlessness
You filled my lungs
with your air,
desperately I inhaled,
and from that moment
my life became yours.
A few more days left for this contest!
Breathe
Hang on to life with nails and teeth,
Keep walking through the field and breathe.
You are now free, even though underneath
You will never be, and you always were free.
Breathe, and hang on to memories that flee.
Breathe in the air,
and let go of despair.
Thank you for all the entries!
Dark Muse: I liked the idea of inhaling another's air and becoming his or hers as a result.
North Star: Breathing and letting go of despair do seem to go together.
I enjoyed them both.
The winner: Dark Muse
Congratulations!