Lymerick

There once was a man who cried"Whoa!
Trump is dumber than six tons of coal!
Each time he opens his mouth
His brain goes further south
Last sighted somewhere near the South Pole!

There once was a sinner who said,
“They’re exhausting!” He’s staying in bed
While the heavenly day
With sweet bliss blows away
Leaving darkness to hold him instead.

There once was a brute named Beelzebub
Who was badder than bad but still a schlub
His only goal
To steal your soul
He's half man, half beast, sporting a half chub

The devil needs naughty for fuel
But an angel is nice as a rule.
When an angel is smoking
The devils start choking
Frustrated she’s no moron’s fool.

There once was an angel Moroni
Who sprung from the loins of Nephi
The days were olden
The plates were golden
But it's a history I don't buy

An angel is typically smart
And so cute you might dream she’s a tart.
A devil is not
Very different. He’s got
One defect you won’t miss should he fart.

There once was a posse comitatus
'round the fire in a huge cloud of flatus
Their only means
The pork and beans
And thinking it's time for a hiatus

There once was a goy from Dahlonega
Who went by the name of Veronica
She said this much
Merry Christmas
And to all, a most Happy Hanukkah

Merry Christmas! Sweet Santa forgot
All the stuff on my list I ain’t got.
Even love! On my list!
At the bottom. He missed
Even love--not expecting a lot.

There once was a candidate named Cruze
Who was certain that he could not loose
He's on the telly
With Megan Kelly
Demonstrating the art of the schmooze

If Jeb bush wants people to clap
perhaps he shouldn't talk crap,
with G.W. as his mentor
he's a solid three percentor
And a long way from a victory lap.

I think that I might like this place.
It seems that y'all make a space
To have you some fun,
And you don't scorn a pun
And nobody's right in your face.

There once was a zombie who said,
“It’s fun with the lights out, undead.”
Not sentient? “No.”
Esurient? “So?
We’re hungry and like our meat red.”

Edit: After searching, it looks like someone beat me to the idea: http://zombieburgerdm.com/

My brain has been eaten once more
And I don’t know what I’m browsing for,
But I simply won’t stop
Though my mind wants to pop
And the pixels pick nits till I’m sore.

There once was a candidate named Trump
Who yelled and screamed while out on the stump
His hair was ambitious
And method seditious
His goal to make you the rich man's chump