Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

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08-31-2010, 04:53 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

That's very good!

Los Malvinas! English imperialist!

Who was the radio designed for? Did it actually have an audience, or was it some kind of Lord Haw-Haw for the '80s?

Here, this'll cheer you up.

When the Falklands War was happening, I had a friend about to take the "big OE" as it's called in Kiwi-speak - an extended overseas trip - and he was going to UK/Europe first. He was a bit worried, because of the war, so I asked him why that bothered him.

He thought the Falklands were part of the Channel Islands and that the war was within an Exocet of London.

:smilielol5:

The benefits of aggressive Imperialism are about to bear fruit. The waters around the Falkland Isles are heaving with black gold and it is about to be harvested. This will probably lead to another war, this time against a South American coalition bankrolled by Hugo Chaves. We could, of course, negotiate a deal and everyone is happy but history points in the other direction.
08-31-2010, 04:55 PM
dafydd manton

My first Mother-in-law, who lived in a tiny village in Rutland, North Luffenham, asked me once why we didn't pop back on weekends. I was stationed in Berlin!
08-31-2010, 06:38 PM
Paulclem

This is the truth - I once taught a woman in her late thirties who said that she had only gradually realised that there were other countries. We were doing animal farm, and so the references to Russia were problematic. She wasn't a stupid person either. And she passed.
08-31-2010, 07:02 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by dafydd manton

My first Mother-in-law, who lived in a tiny village in Rutland, North Luffenham, asked me once why we didn't pop back on weekends. I was stationed in Berlin!

That brings back memories, after our last tour of the northern part of an Island located in the Atlantic we found ourselves in the haven of Catterick. It was my proud duty to inform the guys in the gymn hall that life was going to be so much easier. " After a light exercise on Friday afternoons the weekend is all yours. " I omitted to mention that they would be so knackered they would not waken up till Sunday. I am glad to find there is someone even older than me in the Blokes Thread. :)
08-31-2010, 07:15 PM
dafydd manton

Oh, cheers, Jocky!! I'm a very youthful 55. Indeed, I am actually 21 with 34 years of additional experience!
08-31-2010, 07:36 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by dafydd manton

Oh, cheers, Jocky!! I'm a very youthful 55. Indeed, I am actually 21 with 34 years of additional experience!

:)

To hell with the experience, we both wish we were 21 again.
08-31-2010, 07:40 PM
dafydd manton

Ah, now to have the mind of the older man, but the body of the younger.....!
08-31-2010, 07:50 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

This is the truth - I once taught a woman in her late thirties who said that she had only gradually realised that there were other countries. We were doing animal farm, and so the references to Russia were problematic. She wasn't a stupid person either. And she passed.

Paul, if that does not get you promoted to Deputy Headmaster with the commensurate salary increase, my name is not Jocky. The powers that be only need to read your posts and your elevation is guaranteed. :)
08-31-2010, 07:54 PM
dafydd manton

I have a funny feeling that our putting in a good word might be a hindrance......
08-31-2010, 08:22 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

I once asked a colleague who was going on holiday to Miami if she was going to pop up to see her sister in LA, not realising that it is as vast a distance from the UK to Miami as it is from Miami to LA

I'm a smalltown boy.

:lol:

At least you didn;t suggest she walked!

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

The benefits of aggressive Imperialism are about to bear fruit. The waters around the Falkland Isles are heaving with black gold and it is about to be harvested. This will probably lead to another war, this time against a South American coalition bankrolled by Hugo Chaves. We could, of course, negotiate a deal and everyone is happy but history points in the other direction.

Yes, I see that. Is there any ironic value in Argentina having a female in charge this time around?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

This is the truth - I once taught a woman in her late thirties who said that she had only gradually realised that there were other countries. We were doing animal farm, and so the references to Russia were problematic. She wasn't a stupid person either. And she passed.

That doesn't surprise me. I once employed a 26 year old woman who had never been more than 30 km from her home suburb in her entire life. She thought Auckland was the entire country.

(it actually is, but that's another subject :D)

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

:)

To hell with the experience, we both wish we were 21 again.

Nah. I'd go for 28. I was a lawnmowing contractor, tanned, fit and could lift a couple of hundred kgs without breaking a sweat. Women used to stalk me.

Actually, remembering that last part, I think I'll stick with 51!

:smilielol5:

Quote:

Originally Posted by dafydd manton

I have a funny feeling that our putting in a good word might be a hindrance......

Hindrance?

Terminal would be more like it.

Ha! What was that I was saying about famous people applying for jobs?

Beat this one!

http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s...heist/omar.jpg
09-01-2010, 04:15 AM
prendrelemick

I must admit, when my son was walking in New Zealand, I had every confidence I could just go there and find him if need I needed to. After all, I knew he was somewhere on the South Island. How hard could it be?
09-01-2010, 10:04 AM
soundofmusic

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brian Bean

I know it's no consolation, or, depending on one's political persuasion, perhaps it is, but our current Prime Minister also had his bike stolen. Now he has to go around in his Lexus; as they say, it's tough at the top.

I think it is rather nice of him to run around in a Lexus instead of a limo; what does the queen go about in?

Quote:

Originally Posted by dafydd manton

Sounds - you ask if we get rain. We do indeed, the only difference being that at the moment, instead of falling vertically, it comes sideways. Sometimes from two different directions.

I guess I won't visit England during rainy season then; when is it cool and dry over there?

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

The sun is shining in Scotland today......hold on......no it has just disappeared behind a muckle huge bleak black storm cloud. We should be grateful that is the first time it has been sighted up here in twenty five years. Happy days :)

Or maybe I'll visit Scotland; but I hear you have to be in good condition and walk uphill alot.

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Now we have Den of Iniquity, what about a name for our brotherhood like, Cold Ale Club Knights, or CACK for short.

How about Cold Ale Nights...I like the concept of telling the spouse, "I'm going to the can"

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brian Bean

This reminds me of the time when the London borough of Southwark set up a group called Southwark Housing Investment Team, before realising that it would have to be changed to something less embarrassing.

Even better...

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Mind you, there must be excellent economies of scale in Florida.

Hope you're feeling better!

I'm getting Parker to chill the Kahlua to exactly 4 degrees C for you when you come right.

:lol:

I walked into the hospital today just for a medical clearance form; just the thought of them touching me and I feel 100%; tell parker I'm ready for that Kahlua...

Quote:

Originally Posted by dafydd manton

Or. to put it another way: "We'll have none of your **** in our chambers!"

:smash:

Quote:

Originally Posted by dafydd manton

My first Mother-in-law, who lived in a tiny village in Rutland, North Luffenham, asked me once why we didn't pop back on weekends. I was stationed in Berlin!

:crazy: I had one of those too; Poor woman, she kept asking to see her son and he kept sending me in his place.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

This is the truth - I once taught a woman in her late thirties who said that she had only gradually realised that there were other countries. We were doing animal farm, and so the references to Russia were problematic. She wasn't a stupid person either. And she passed.

Was she American; I thought we were the only ones who thought that there were no other countries in the world...
09-01-2010, 11:01 AM
Gilliatt Gurgle

The Breakers Beach Club
“Come in the water. The water is fine”
The summersault layout maneuvers starting at 1:20 are superb:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NFsu...eature=related

.
09-01-2010, 07:04 PM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

The Breakers Beach Club
“Come in the water. The water is fine”
The summersault layout maneuvers starting at 1:20 are superb:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NFsu...eature=related

.

:)

You give a new meaning to the term fossil hunters.

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Or maybe I'll visit Scotland; but I hear you have to be in good condition and walk uphill alot.

Soundo you know you are more than welcome, but I have a statistic for you. 9.2 million Americans are of Scottish descent, while only 5 million Scots remain in Scotland. Go figure. Besides, Mrs Jocky has ordered me to sweep the snow off the mountains as she says, " I am nae being embarassed in front of our American guest. " :)
09-01-2010, 10:12 PM
soundofmusic

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

The Breakers Beach Club
“Come in the water. The water is fine”
The summersault layout maneuvers starting at 1:20 are superb:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NFsu...eature=related

I had forgotten what real bossoms on actresses look like! They're cute, but the Betty Boop voice has to go and they should fire the coreographer
.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Soundo you know you are more than welcome, but I have a statistic for you. 9.2 million Americans are of Scottish descent, while only 5 million Scots remain in Scotland. Go figure. Besides, Mrs Jocky has ordered me to sweep the snow off the mountains as she says, " I am nae being embarassed in front of our American guest. " :)

Thank you for the kind invite. I'm afraid you and Mrs Jocky would be embarrassed that the Scots in America can barely pull a 12 foot pine out of the ground with all this city living and beach lounging. Tell Mrs Jocky I'm not one of those hoity-toity Americans, I'm wash and wear and can sleep anywhere.:smilewinkgrin: