Since I've emerged from the exam period blur, thought I'd just remind everyone that they still have a week or so to submit a wonderful poem on this picture before the 8th. :)
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Since I've emerged from the exam period blur, thought I'd just remind everyone that they still have a week or so to submit a wonderful poem on this picture before the 8th. :)
Don't know what on earth I'm doing here. The deadline looms, 12 hours to go, and I have about 2/3 of a chapter left to write to meet it. Argh!
there's always time and not enough....
the quiet morning looms large
approaching the front gate of labor
early the light stirs commencing the day
dressed in robes rich in color
silently pouring the soup of devotion
catering to nurturing and love
thoughtful and focused
breakfast comes too soon
O.K., since the deadline I set passed yesterday, I'm declaring this round of the contest closed barring any last minute appeals within the next couple of hours. I'll read over the entries and see about posting a winner either tonight or Tuesday morning after I'm back in California, depending on how busy things get today.
O.K., folks. I've finally had the time to give these a thorough read through and determine a winner. I must say, that as usual it was a pleasure to read all the excellent submissions and a torment to have to select only one. It was interesting to see the variety of ways everyone chose to interpret this painting, and impressive to see the nuance with which everyone did so. Anyhoo, first the comments:
Pendragon—The quiet, thoughtful description in this poem really suits the mood of the painting well. I especially like the details of your physical description of her: the strength of the arm; the way “her features are strong but perhaps not really pretty.” It really brings out the things that make this such a beautiful painting.
NickAdams—First I should say that as a poem this one was great. I love the sounds in your diction and the way the words play on the page. An interesting read. I didn’t see how it fit with the picture for this round though. Either I’m just missing the tie in with the Vermeer or perhaps you didn’t realize that was the picture for this round? Still, a good poem that just didn’t obviously tie in with the picture.
TheFifthElement—This is beautifully done. I love the tension you have here between the intimacy of the act of painting her in every detail while leaving her still “untouched,” and the point that “Her eyes he keeps to himself” nicely opens things to speculation. Good job of evoking the merging of art and life. Love the way it ends.
Schadenfreude—I like this meditation of the way we receive art into our own lives: the ability to believe on some level that this sort of light must have existed sometime, somewhere, but the resistance to being able to believe it could ever exist in our own world. I like the end best: “a nostalgia for an illusory past”; “the epitome of endurance.” A pleasure to read.
ampoule—Always, of course, a delight to read a poem that finds a good way to utilize a marvelous word like “gambogian.” :) I enjoyed the way you explored the possible story behind the painting: the way you place the vision depicted on the canvas into a moment’s glimpse of the singing maid, and the way you describe what happens once the spell of that vision is broken. It gives a human back story about these two people separated by class and custom. It also hints at one of the things that is so attractive about this painting, which is that it encapsulates one of those glowing and pure quotidian moments that pass all too quickly in real life and that leave us yearning to recapture them.
littlewing53—I like the seeming sparseness of this poem. The lines give the effect of simplicity, while at the same time conveying a sense that each word has been selected with great care. The opening line is a real winner, and opens up a rich variety of ways to think and rethink what follows, and the end line circles back to the beginning sentiment, but with the feeling that something significant has transpired in the description of the day break and the morning’s tasks that comes in the middle. Nicely suggestive poem with some subtle word choice.
It was a very hard choice, but the winner is.....
TheFifthElement for the beautifully composed entry below. Congratulations, Fifth, and have fun picking the next image. :)
Quote:
Pour-trait
He sees curves,
the roundness of shoulders,
soft arms muscle-bulged,
lips arched, complicit.
Captures it
with one deft stroke;
the brush goes where hands won’t.
He takes time over
her skirts, exploring each
dip and fold;
hints at the
suggestion of breasts,
untouched.
Her eyes he keeps to himself,
they might expose
the knowledge they both hold.
He hides it in sepia tones,
husks of bread,
the thin line of milk
slipping into the bowl.
Congratulations Fifth!
Congratulations Fifth. Yes, very beautiful.
Congrats Fifth! :thumbs_up
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petrarch's Love
Thank you. I thought it might have been too abstract, or vague.;)
After seeing the painting, I wanted to incorporate two themes. The first, was the hierarchy of class. The second, was the empowerment of women. I saw the Vermeer as a classic Rosie the Riveter. I used latin to combine the themes. The first half is social commentary. The second is more intimate and is a portrait of the woman, so I try to paint her in the colors and meaning I find in what she was wearing.
I'm still learning to connect with the reader and leave better clues to strengthen the meaning. This is a great way to improve though.
Thanks Petrarch :D
I'm off to hunt for a picture. I'll post one in the next few days.
Congratulations on your well deserved success, Fifth! And thanks to Petrach for all your time and effort in reading and assessing our poems.
Very nice poem Fifth. Lovely texture. Sorry I've been tied up and couldn't participate. Perhaps the next one.
Thats a marvelous poem, fifth. Congrats!
Good going Fifth! :thumbs_up
congrats 5th...your poem is so very beautiful
thank you, PL for your time, efforts and comments...very much appreciated!